Author: shaun tenzenmen

Australasian DIY music specialist and practising poet, amongst other things

Semantic Shift – 4th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Opinions formed around the scantest of facts
Reinforce the feeling to sit back and relax
Delegated control to the seats of power
Surveilled to submission from the tallest tower

Freedom enforced with lies told twice
Stock up on guns is the latest advice
The hole keeps growing for the empire to fall
Where democracy now means nothing at all

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and energetic

Today I’m grateful for:

This Chinese New Year peanut brittle I bought at Makro. It’s slightly crystallised from being in the fridge and is crunchy. I’ve eaten a whole tub today so I’ll be way over any normal sugar quota. My mum used to love peanut brittle, though had to stop eating it because of her teeth and dentures but I never liked it much back then.

The best thing about today was:

Having a list of household tasks to complete and getting them all done. No reading, writing or blogging today, though I did get in a bit of guitar.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The price of a cup of coffee has gone up at Utopia. What can I do? Buy less peanut brittle I guess.

Something I learned today?

I feel like I didn’t learn very much today! Or nothing particular that I didn’t already know or have an opinion on. One thing I remember from a couple of days ago was a comment about how the ‘international media ‘ as the West understands only covers about 15% of the world’s population. Hmmm…

What are three things I am grateful for today?

The fan that has been cooling me all day now that it’s humid again.
Bandcamp for having so much great music out there to discover. Today I found Focusrights who are awesome!
The hair bleach that I received from online shopping and had burned my hair a crispy yellow shade to disguise all the white.

I took this picture because it’s hot already and the cats are losing hair and staying cool by rolling onto their backs.

Balloon – 3rd February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Let go and let fly
Gathering data from the sky
To understand a stormy why

Unsteered and set adrift
To heavens, the air will lift
Arriving as an unwanted gift

A drama begins to bloom
Gossipped hot air fills the room
Fills and refills the balloon

Tricked and deceived by lies
It comes to no one’s surprise
The balloon contained no spies

Debut album for Melbourne Noise Punks Ad Interim
now available for pre-order on vinyl with two bonus tracks unavailable elsewhere at adinterim.bandcamp.com/merch or stockrecordsperth.bandcamp.com/merch

A joint release by Tenzenmen and Stock Records

CD/digital originally released April 11, 2022

Guitar + Vocals – Max Ducker
Bass – Michael McQueen
Drums – Roger Newall
Guest vocals on “Sideways” – Prue Elyn

Recorded and Mixed at Cellar Sessions Studio by Max Ducker.
www.cellarsessionsstudio.com
Mastered By Alan Smith at Bergerk Studios

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and a little rundown. Reasonably happy though despite some of my annoying students.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady who I bought the salted fish from as she gave me extra sauce. Not that I could use it today. One pack is sure to be burning my ass tomorrow.

The best thing about today was:

Enjoying my classes and students despite what I mention below. We had a playful time and enjoyed learning and carried on into the playground during lunchtime.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As usual, it was some of my students and their disrespectful attitudes and I handled it by kicking them out of my class. Other students asked if I was angry or upset but I wasn’t. I told them I was happy now that those students were gone. I think they were happy too.

Something I learned today?

I learned not to give Cap and Tig the special treats we have as it’s only for Kim. I found out when Amy watched me feeding them via video call. I thought I’d seen her giving it to them before but I was mistaken.

What word or phrase would I like to give this year?

2023 – The Year of…..

Maybe this question will be better answered at the end of the year.

I took this picture because Tigger just loves the dust and dirt of our garden. I don’t know if it’s ever going to be possible to clean up his skin without keeping him inside, which he would hate.

Tough Haiku – 2nd February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Life is not easy
It is not supposed to be
Build up your wisdom

Today I’m feeling:

Happy but getting a little fatigued, maybe from pushing myself too hard with my morning exercise. But I need to keep pushing if I’m going to lose some belly fat.

Today I’m grateful for:

My tennis racket bug zapper. It’s supremely satisfying to hear the crackle of frying mosquitoes in its mesh as I wave it through the air.

The best thing about today was:

The positive response from the 4 students I sent messages to last night, telling them how well they are doing in class and for a couple of them to try and focus their friends too. Today’s class was much smoother and everyone seemed a little happier.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

If anything was out of my control today it didn’t have any noticeable effect on me.

Something I learned today?

I decided to look at the Guardian to see if there was anything I might learn that was in the news. I found very little. If each article just included facts about events they would be one paragraph long. It’s one of the reasons people only read headlines because there is little of consequence within.

What do you do to be involved in the community?

In general, due to my poor language skills, I don’t do much but I do consider that being a teacher is bring involved in the community. I hope to encourage these students to be the best that they can?

I took this picture because Cap was lying down with his tongue sticking out for some reason! He seems very happy.

Sometimes dreams and reality merge.
As I walked through the gate towards the regular morning coffee I’m thinking of cars, locking the door of my own with the key in my pocket. Imagine that, me from the 80s.
The remnants of sound of the podcast talking about used car salesmen and a ’68 Cadillac, friends driving around listening to old tapes.
And a vague, fleeting recollection of the dream last night of cars past, pieces falling apart and breaking down. Those pieces of shit – a nostalgia trip of loving memory.
The bad times were always the best.
So what was real in this fog of pre-caffeine confusion? And is that what dying is? Do dreams and reality blur slowly at the edges until we finally fall out of our existence and into the ever-long dream?

When All Else Fails – 1st February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s a new gun in town
Throwing weight around
Scared of the open gate
When all else fails….escalate!

So diplomacy has failed
The ship of peace has sailed
Not gonna sit around and wait
When all else fails….escalate!

There’s a plan in place for winning
A great reset, a new beginning
The hawks will thrive on hate
When all else fails….escalate!

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and content

Today I’m grateful for:

The small teacher’s room that I’m able to use for my students to come and read, practice and discuss things. The room has, at times, been full of equipment, junk and other teachers. It is now quite clear of things so I’ve taken advantage of its availability.

The best thing about today was:

As mentioned yesterday I was frustrated with one class and had an idea for today which involved using the teacher’s room.

Instead of standing at the front of the class and instructing I started by asking the students to recall things we’d discussed this week on the topics of hobbies and clothes. I then split them into five groups and asked each group to come into the teacher’s room where we first discussed the activities they enjoyed or found boring and secondly to discuss what they thought about school uniforms which they got more animated about.

They used a lot of Thai and I used a couple of the top students to help translate but a few of them were also able to articulate their thoughts in English too. I

t went well for all five groups and I think everyone enjoyed this approach. I only wish it was possible to carry out classes like this all the time.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Despite my best efforts to keep food and drinks (except water) out of my classroom students still smuggle them in and left a lot of garbage and spilt drinks today. I handled it by cleaning up a little and thinking about how to make it better in future.

Something I learned today?

I watched a documentary about Paulo Coelho and wondered if I would like him in person or not.

I’ve only read one of his books so far and enjoyed it a lot but I was thinking if this person was explaining similar things in direct conversation then would I react the same way? Maybe I find it difficult to separate the words from the personality in conversation.

I find the spoken word can be overbearing whereas the written I can ruminate on without other influences involved.

I know some people in my life have given me their wisdom in conversation and I initially rejected it because of other things about them.

It’s all a reminder to find my own way and that even the worst of people can offer useful words sometimes. Take it all in and filter out what I don’t need.

What do you love most about yourself?

I’ve recently been looking at my diary from 1981 and see comments like ‘I am great’, ‘I will win’ etc and it reminded me of the positive attitude I had towards myself at that time. That was all well and good but I never learned how to deal with failure properly which was part of my downward spiral in the coming teenage years. I was even conscious of it at the time but didn’t know how to manage it.

Anyway, these days I am more confident again, with occasional lapses, and feel pretty good about myself most of the time. I love that I still have the determination to improve myself and not rest on my laurels.

I took this series of pictures because I was trying to capture the beautiful sunrise this morning as it was happening. It never looks as good in a photo but I wish I could’ve sat and watched it for longer but I had to get to work.

Teacher’s Lament – 31st January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Don’t be angry with me
I know you don’t see it
But I’m trying to steer you
In the right direction
I know you’re upset
Your fun was curtailed
But I’m trying to guide you
Towards self-correction

You’ll see it one day
Long after I’m gone
It will be you
With wise words to pass on

22nd Oct 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – correct

Today I’m feeling:

A little frustrated at first but ok now. Happy.

Today I’m grateful for:

Dr Arnon for giving me medicine and cleaning spray for Tigger’s skin problem without me having to take him in. Putting the spray on today though I can see one of the wounds on his head is big and deep, with the scab coming away. I just hope the antibiotics stop him from getting infected and it can heal quickly, otherwise, it will be another trip back for Tig.

The best thing about today was:

The very cold reception I got from my class of truants from yesterday and then as they slowly understood the work they needed to do and then have to read for me and as they did it, sometimes laughing at their mistakes and finally showing some pride at their ability to do it. They are smart kids just choosing not to be.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

This morning the students were kept late at assembly and straggled into class with many things on their minds except studying. This class (1/6) has broken up into little groups that distract themselves constantly so that today no one was listening. Frustrated, I just let them leave, considering other ways or things I can teach them. Speaking with their head student though she said it’s like that in every other class too. I have a plan for tomorrow but after that… I don’t know. I do hope we get better levels of students next year or I will have to continue dumbing things down even further.

And, on top of that, the reason they were kept late was that they were being told about next week which, I just found out, is scout week! Another whole week of no classes! Any possible momentum to get going after sports week, lost again!

Something I learned today?

Luckily the thing I was trying to remember yesterday was brought back to mind today as it was whilst I was listening to the End On End podcast talking about the Autoclave record and the track Hotspur. One of the hosts mentioned that Hotspur was the name of a character in a Shakespeare play (I forget which) and just word Hotspur reminds me of one of Rik Mayall’s outrageous characters in the Black Adder. I hope to find some books of Shakespeares’ plays with cliff notes to help me understand it all. I have one on the shelf already but it’s not really at the top of the pile yet.

What is something I want to do for myself in the coming year?
Lose fat.

I took this picture because it’s not often that Tigger is close to Cap or Kim.

Ermine’s Anger – 30th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Death shed its dead skin
The anger evaporated within
Never amounted to anything
Always contemptuous of joy
The sign of a dumb boy

Devastation healed the wound
Which I myself had groomed
With a perception then assumed
The divide between us real
As now and the past reveal

inspired and pilfered from Nick Cave’s The Red Hand Files #220 and a question from Ermine

Today I’m feeling:

Energetic and content.

Today I’m grateful for:

The music store in Germany where I bought a bunch of CDs from that arrived today. More music to listen to!
I’m also grateful to the band from Istanbul that contacted me to help with their 2nd album release. It’s aces and I hope I can be involved somehow.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling energetic again. I cruised along getting things mentally crossed off lists of things that needed to be done and that I wanted to do.

I also enjoyed playing with Tokyo out in her driveway as she rolled around happily. She got a little bitey but not aggressively. She’s a lovely dog that could benefit from some proper training.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Both my classes had control problems today. The first was noisy but happy and mostly doing what I asked of them. I handled it by letting them do as they wished once they’d completed their tasks.

The second class were late and after ten minutes I shut the doors and started teaching, not letting anyone else in. This meant less than half the class attended and it was excellent as I could focus my efforts on everyone. I handled the situation without getting annoyed or upset and letting the kids enjoy their choice not to be in class. It’s up to them now.

Something I learned today?

Today I consciously thought ‘ah, this is something I can write for this section today’ and now…..blank! What was it! (10 minutes later) Nope. It’s gone. I’ll probably remember sometime tomorrow. I should make a note of it straight away! Duh!

What is something I want to do for others in the coming year?

I want to help musicians to spread their music further into Southeast Asia as much as I can from my remote location.
I also want to help my students improve their chances of being able to go abroad by motivating them to study English more.

I took this picture because this is the Kim Chi lookalike from the hairdressers yesterday. I like that the shot is not correct, focus in the wrong place and half the head not in frame. It was an action shot. I took another picture just before this that did have everything correct but favour this one.

On Friday and Saturday, I felt very muddle-headed but thankfully woke up yesterday running at about 80% and the day felt much more enjoyable. I’d finished the cough and nose meds and just have the rib injury meds to go now. My chest is feeling generally better but I have pains in different areas than before. Also, having just been lying down or sleeping for most of the last 4 days I developed a bit of lower back pain.
As I was starting to improve last night and weighed myself before bed I realise I need to push myself much more as my weight has been slowly flourishing and that’s not the direction I wish to continue. I pushed myself a little more this morning and will also do a short evening workout, I think.
I certainly feel a lot better this morning and feel calm in my class of whirlwind kids. My patience was tested but I just keep reminding myself that I’m doing what I can for them. I also have to remind myself that they are still just kids, finding their way and working things out.
I could be talking about myself.

The Real Secret – 29th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Six million years of work went into this
I know it seems weird to explain
There’s no magical shortcut or formula
To access the power within your brain

inspired by Robert Greene’s Daily Laws

Today I’m feeling:

A little more clear-headed and positive.

Today I’m grateful for:

My hairdresser and her Kim Chi lookalike cat, that rolled and rubbed whilst I waited my turn. The hairdresser cuts my hair as I ask no matter how stupid it seems to her. I can fix it with gel and time as I like. I’m glad she tidies up the back and sides and even trims the hair in my ears, which does make it difficult to pull them out whilst I’m waiting in traffic but never mind, I still appreciate it.

The best thing about today was:

Watching a Chinese movie called Better Days which was pretty good and I’m glad of the fact that I was able to watch it all in one go which I’ve been finding difficult recently as I find myself getting bored more quickly with things these days perhaps victim of the TikTok quick hits of dopamine that the youth are enjoying.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The dirty floor is out of control and I’ve handled it by ignoring it. Next weekend Aing and Now will come and stay on Sunday so I know I will have to clean on Saturday so I’m waiting until then if I can bear it.

Something I learned today?

I watched Jordan Peterson talking about his employer asking him to attend social media reeducation classes which sounds a little odd. He’s a health expert ( I can’t remember exactly what) and sometimes posts online about things unrelated to his job such as politics.

I suppose the things he says could impact his employer by association if they were some form of hate speech and it seems like there are some folks out there who are so easily offended these days that that is what they think it is. It seems gone are the days of differing ideas and opinions.

Since the Twin Towers were destroyed you are either with us or against us, no matter what. Bin Laden has achieved exactly what he wanted as Western capitalist democracies eat themselves from the inside with this attitude.

I try to be sensitive to everyone’s opinion unless I really do find it hateful but most people’s ideas are born from ignorance or circumstance.

What is my biggest dream for the year ahead?

A lot of this type of question in January. My biggest dream is to live to see next January. A lot can happen in a year. Dream? I don’t know. I’m comfortable, I have all I need.

I took this picture because I heard Kim growling whilst I was reading in bed. It’s unusual for her to growl so I got up and found this. I don’t know who brought it in. From nose to tail, this ex-rat was longer than Kim’s body.

Weil, Weil, Weil – 28th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s a moral obligation to provide
The more power, the more the obligation
Punish those with their authority
Cheating at a higher level of corruption

Yet these moral rules never applied
As they’d level the field for all to play
Perhaps we do not have moral principles
As Simone was want to say

inspired by an Existential Comics page about Simone Weil

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and dizzy, swaying between depression and happiness

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s mum and dad again, bringing me food and watering the garden when I had no enthusiasm for cooking/eating or any kind of effort. I need to water daily now as the ground is getting so parched but I haven’t had the energy for 3 or 4 days.

The best thing about today was:

Reading a lot – it was the only thing that felt satisfying. I played guitar for a while but got frustrated easily. I almost finished updating one book of writing into the blog and started preparing my old poems and lyrics so that felt like I achieved something today. For the afternoon I savoured a few more Anton Chekov short stories, a couple of chapters of Affluenza and a couple of issues of Touch and Go. I was reading to get inspiration to write some poems but my brain is still muddled from medicines though I did finally manage to squeeze out four lines.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I video-called with Amy a couple of times during the day. She had been out drinking with her flatmate and was in a happy mood. Unfortunately, I wasn’t but I told myself that I was happy to see her so happy and she did look attractive to me with her big laugh and bright eyes.

Something I learned today?

Through reading today I must have learned lots of things but perhaps they are not particularly significant as they reinforce things that I already know or believe.

What am I looking forward to in the coming year?

This is not something I’ve really thought about. I expect this year to be similar to last and that would be fine for me, I really enjoyed last year. I do look forward to Amy coming back and trying her hand at running a business here and that would entail some changes with the house and that would be an exciting development. But if that doesn’t happen I know everything will still be fine.

I took this picture because this weird plant that seems to grow easily around our cactuses (it may even be a cactus) sported some flowers I found today. The root of the plant grows at crazy angles, sometimes even turning a full 180. I’ve stuck them against some fencing to hopefully encourage them to go straight for a while!

It’s Not Football Anymore – 27th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

No more beers at half-time
Or a quick drag on a fag
Now it’s all about advertising
The game has become a drag

No more fat moustaches
Or divots on the pitch
Now it’s all about the money
And seeing who can get rich?

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and dizzy. All the medicine has fought off the pain and cold but now I feel like a chemical cesspool. I just want to sleep until tomorrow and stop taking medicine so that I’ll be recovered by Monday.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to fall back on online games like Kahoot to fill my student’s class time so that I could come home and rest more.

The best thing about today was:

Reading lots of comics in bed as I dipped in and out of sleep this afternoon. I’m catching up on old 2000AD annuals and specials so that I’m in the same time frame as the weeklies where I’m approaching issue 1000. Not even halfway through! Maybe I will finish reading in another ten years.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The one class I did have this morning was poorly attended and the students were in a lively mood, to say the least. I set a writing task about what they did this week and just went around helping them find the right words and grammar. It was interesting to have so few kids in the class for a change and it changed the dynamic a lot but still, a group of 12 and 13-year-olds together are going to be a handful.

Something I learned today?

I watched YouTube videos of Yan (Little Chinese Everywhere) in Turkey and Stamp Fairtex (Thai MMA fighter) in the US and there are so many interesting places in the world that I would like to see. But why does it feel like the world is fragmented and angry?

How can I rest or relax more often this year?

If I rest or relax anymore this year I’ll stop moving. I think I’d like to rest less and be more active.

I took this picture because it’s almost impossible to not take a picture when faced with this scene as I step out in the morning.

Feeling a little sorry for myself today. On the tail end of a cold and prescribed a stack of meds for my rib injury, I can’t tell if I’m well or not.
I pushed myself to school this morning where the kids that did turn up weren’t in much of a mood to study so I just assigned a little writing and helped them with that and they were happy enough to comply so that they could quickly get back to having their own fun.
By the end though I was deflated and decided to go home and assign some work for my last classes that they can submit online.
I’ll be glad to get back to fighting fit and regular school weeks again. I think there’s only six weeks left now and everyone will be in wind-down mode.

Better Days – 26th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We didn’t ask to be born into this world
Those felt like better days before
If you don’t get fucked from the right
You’ll be fucked from the left for sure

And just who is going to protect us?
A guardian angel, out of the blue?
A fall guy descends into hell
So that you can live your life true?

It can never be as clear as that
Time and guilt will take their toll
Will justice find better days again
To find a freedom for us all?

inspired by the Chinese movie Better Days

Today I’m feeling:

Sick, tired but reasonably positive

Today I’m grateful for:

The nurses who did their best at the hospital. It was hectic and there was a feeling of frustration in the air. I didn’t feel too bad but the sign said to ask them again if waiting longer than 30 minutes so I did. It was obvious they were busy and I was ok with that but once I’d mentioned it to them it felt like they rushed me through.

The best thing about today was:

I went to school this morning and saw everyone preparing for the sports day parade, lots of kids all dressed up and unrecognisable, happy and jovial. I felt sorry to myself that I didn’t feel better and able to stay and cheer on all the different teams.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I was at the hospital for two and a half hours in total. I went to just get checked out about my sore rib. It took half the time to get to see a doctor who didn’t think I had a fracture as they guessed I would be in more pain. The consultation took about 5 minutes. The rest of the time spent waiting to pick up medicine. For everyone’s time and effort, it was only 275 baht. Consultation and four lots of pills. Nice.

Something I learned today?

More about articles 35 and 36 in the Chinese constitution and how they guarantee more rights than the American constitution. The war of propaganda the US wages sure is strong. I’m coming to respect China more and more over time.

How can I show more gratitude this year?

I often am grateful for people in and around my life so I guess I should think about ways of actually showing them my gratitude beyond a simple thanks. I should keep some small gifts with me at all times or something like that.

I took this picture because Amy’s cacti are coming along well. We’ve lost a few on the way but many are going great guns. This picture is from about ten days ago as I’ve not felt well today and remembered to take any pictures.