Tag: Amy

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #20 – 11th January 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Music from The Reactionaries, Alternative TV, Neutral Sons, Polvo, Peter Black, Hilkka, The Fartz, Elvis Costello, Captain Sensible, Rogues, Graham Parker and the Rumour, Radio Nepal, Orthrelm, Arcwelder, Guapo, Minutemen, McClusky.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Oh and Namtan for letting me stay at their house last night. It saved me money and trouble and they are nice people.

All reading should be applied to the idea of living the happy life…words may become deeds.

Seneca

To-do list

  • Remember how much you enjoyed the drive today? Do that again! ✅
  • Take Oh and Namtan for coffee. ✅
  • Work through your exhaustion and provide good tuition. ✅
  • Do something nice for Amy today. ½
  • Do not complain – counter other’s complaints. ✅

Today was a very good day and I feel wonderful and happy. It started with 40 squats, a shower and reading before taking Oh and Namtan for coffee. We have a good conversation about books, reading, exercising and eating.

The drive back was very pleasant though tempered by some melancholy as many returns home can be. It’s never as exciting as the heading out into unknown adventures, no matter how small they are.

I was so positive that I was fine for the teaching and it went like a breeze.

At dinner, Amy and I chatted for a long while and I put forward the idea of how we could spend the perfect day together.

Tomorrow I hope to spend some time in my office – I love being there but feel somewhat disconnected from the house so I don’t usually stay out there late into the night.

We have some more students tomorrow but those lessons should be fun

With a snap of my fingers, in the blink of an eye – 10th January 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

How can I surprise my partner?

This is a tough question. After more than 10 years together we don’t have many surprises these days. I was thinking I would like to book us our holiday in Vietnam as a surprise but curious that she may just get upset for not consulting her. We have our ten-year anniversary coming up – perhaps I could book us a place to stay for the night. Yep – that’s what I’ll do – find a 5-star resort in the mountains and we’ll spend our anniversary there.

18th Dec 2022 – I did book this but Covid got in the way as everything shut down. I booked it again a second time in 2021 and that too didn’t work out as lockdowns happened in Thailand at different stages.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for Amy when she cooks me breakfast in the morning and doesn’t complain to clean the dishes and iron my shirts. I will try to do these things more when I can share our burden.

Commonplace book for work

Use this space to write out quotes, passages and thoughts that have some meaning for me. These could come from anywhere.

On Journaling

Prepare for the day ahead

Each morning you should prepare, plan and meditate on how you aim to act that day. You should be envisioning everything that may come and steeling yourself so you’re ready to conquer it. As Seneca wrote “The wise will start each day with the thought ‘Fortune gives us nothing which we can really own.’ Or think of Marcus’ reminder ‘When you wake up in the morning tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”

Put the day up for review

Stoicism isn’t just about thinking, it’s about action – and the best way to improve is to review. Each evening you should, like Seneca did, examine your day and your actions. As he put it “When the light has been removed and my wife has fallen silent, aware of this habit that is now mine, I examine my entire day and go back over what I’ve done and said, hiding nothing from myself, passing nothing by.” The question should be: Did I follow my plans for the day? Was I prepared enough? What could I do better? What have I learned that will help me tomorrow?

To-do list

  • Drive slowly and safely – enjoy the journey ✅
  • Talk with John and learn more about him
  • Prepare yourself to meet UK bureaucracy ✅
  • Go to the bookshop if you have time ✅
  • Be courteous to all traffic ✅

I fairly lazily drove over the mountains today and really enjoyed it. I was somewhat sad to arrive. I managed to do everything I planned and bought 5 books at the bookshop. A bit of an extravagance as none of them are on my to-read list.

The application for a new passport was also a completely painless experience for which I’m grateful.

I have very much enjoyed today so far sit now waiting for John to arrive and open his bar. The old auntie here, collecting parking money, shouts instructions from her wheelchair, as the cars pull into the driveway. John is running on Thai time and I’m starting to flake, the long day catching up with me.

I gave it half an hour and decided to leave, tiredness getting the better of me.

At Oh’s place and loved playing and petting her two puppies – once we had become friends. I suppose I could’ve waited for John for longer but don’t feel bad for not. I’m sure we’ll meet someday. It’s just nice to put a real personality to the online persona.

Tomorrow I have to drive back and teach Khawtang and Prang/Sea. Based on how I’m feeling right now, I’m going to be exhausted. Hopefully, I can enjoy some free time on Sunday.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #19 – 4th January 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Music from R. Stevie Moore, Alamaailman Vasarat, Kustomized, Sun City Girls, The Monkees, Flesh Narc, Beastie Boys, Cheer-Accident, Milk Burp, Different I’s, Logic Circuit, The Skatallites, Rebel Truth, GIRTH, Mahavita, Toy Dolls, The Woolies, Angelic Upstarts, Lost Nation and Bleach.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for our visitors who fill our home with action and variation. It’s nice to be able to share our experiences with other people.

From commonplace book

I’m much more interested in being a hero than a professional.

Billy Childish

To-do list

  • Get out of your own head and talk to people ½
  • Compliment people ½
  • Do something nice for someone
  • Upload TCRAH ✅
  • Write to Kieran and Chrissie ✅
  • Write blog about making friends

A busy and productive day – time ran away too quickly.

Mam and her family enjoyed breakfast and within an hour we had students.

I feel more confident today and have mostly pushed the negative from yesterday out of my mind. This was helped a lot by getting down my thoughts when writing to Kieran and Chrissie.

I was happy to receive a reply from Jochen. Well-considered and thoughtful ideas to my questions particularly about children. I look forward to composing a reply. He has also agreed to do some recorded responses for the podcast which provides me with the challenge to prepare and execute that.

I didn’t manage to do all the things on my list today, perhaps overreaching. I need to take into account that recording a new podcast can take up to three hours.

My self-control was only minimally tested today when Amy wanted to go to a local shop to buy some clothes for the funeral tomorrow. I was fine with this, to be honest – it was necessary. I do feel a little that I am sick at the moment though but mostly just dizziness and not affecting my mood.

We have a 5 am wake-up tomorrow and I hope I can get some extra sleep on the drive to Chiang Mai. I’m somewhat prepared with things to listen to on my phone and things to read. I don’t anticipate any other free time tomorrow.

Something I could have done better with today would have been to help Amy more with things around the house. I’m very lucky that she cooks and cleans for me all the time. It gives me lots of free time and I often feel somewhat selfish for that.

Do you know you’re not dead? – 31st December 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Amy was in a bad mood yesterday due to PMT. She confided with me today that she is feeling lonely due to her old friends here in Chiang Rai not quite having the same mindset as her so finds them quite difficult to talk to and to understand. Whilst I am fine here in relative isolation, she is finding it quite difficult. She has to rely on me to go and do things together and sometimes I resent not having enough time to myself as I am working all the time.

We both understand each other’s situation well enough but it is also something that Amy needs to address for herself.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the year that I have had. I have grown and adapted to adversity. Hopefully, I can understand my reactions to adversity in the future and deal with it in a less emotional manner.

Did it list

  • Read 3 chapters.
  • Contacted KL venue for WDS tour.
  • Talk with Kimi and Rosie.
  • Recorded another TCRAH.

Very out of routine due to parties every other night.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #18 – 28th December 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Music from Sebadoh, Hilarity Ensues, Primitive Calculators, Bastro, UK Subs, Mofungo, Paper Mice, Univers Zero, Self Evident, The Bevis Frond, Snakefinger, Tar Babies, Alright the Captain, Matt Black and the Doodlebugs, Khaddash, David Bowie, The Clash, Small Faces, Bad Religion, Big Block 454 and Unstoppable Sweeties Show.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for our beautiful house. I love living here with Amy. When asked if we have any more dreams for our life we don’t have any especially. Things we would like to do but not necessarily dreams to achieve. George said we are living our dream and that’s a nice way to look at it.

When I was young I never wanted toys – 22nd December 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Role Model
George
Amy
Henry Rollins
Lachlan
Jochen
Kieran
Chrissie

Anti-role model
Kru Paew
John
Bookshop guy

Ideal qualities
smiling, interested, positive
caring, kind, open-minded
hard-working, focused
thoughtful, open-minded
community-focused, organised
calm, brave, artistic
calm, relaxed, appreciative

Qualities to avoid
gossip, judgemental, unkind
gossip, negative, complainer
judgemental, narrow-minded

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for having the chance to sleep in this morning. Now, for the busy day ahead.

To-do list

  • Compliment as many people as you can.
  • Talk to a stranger.
  • Study more Thai.
  • Enjoy the kids party and and music in the evening.
  • Talk more deeply with Aing, Gus and Nu – think about what to talk.
  • Start booking plane tickets for WDS.
  • Get up early and walk to Utopia?
  • Read three chapters. Finish Countdown.

Did it list

  • Busy day! Great kids’ party.
  • Talked to a stranger.
  • Complimented Utopia staff, Nu, Amy, little kids.
  • Studied more Thai – video series.
  • Enjoyed a long evening with the kids and Amy.
  • Read more Anna Karenina.
  • Encouraged Khawthang and Phuli.
  • Updated plans for the WDS tour.

Very busy today with preparing for our students’ party so I feel like I didn’t get so much done. Took the luxury of sleeping until 9.15 am. Showered and vacuumed as Amy continued preparing for the party. 
Went to Utopia and Art introduced me to his friend whom I spent most of the time talking with. He has lived in Perth but is now a pilot in Bangkok. It was good to start the day talking with talking with a stranger. 
Only managed to squeeze in a quick read as we prepared for the kids’ party. I blew up and tied up about 30 balloons. The party was fun and time flew by. A lot of Amy’s effort went into it – many more hours than the event itself. 
The music in the garden was not really my thing but I still enjoyed being there. 
I rested in the car and had wild dreams.

Just desserts – 20th December 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Today I found one of the students guiltily copying work of another student. He puts a lot of effort into avoiding working and running around finding someone to copy. That effort could just go into thinking.

When I told the teacher who was teaching them they just shrugged it off as if it didn’t matter and I noticed this made me feel a little miffed and I’m considering why.

I have something against this student due to his laziness and maybe I just wanted him to be punished. On the other hand, maybe the teacher has the right attitude. If the student can only learn to copy then he will discover the appropriate reward in his future.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the things that made me smile this week. Mostly it was the students, sometimes the cats, always Amy and sometimes myself. I smiled because of the simple things in my life that make me happy.

To-do list

  • Compliment a teacher and the students
  • Clear more emails and tabs!
  • Do something nice for someone.
  • Write to Jochen – same idea as with Aaron.
  • Study some more Thai.
  • Can you meditate today?

Did it list

  • Positive encouragement for students.
  • Stayed calm – only raised voice to be heard.
  • 10,000 steps without realising.
  • Under 81kg today.
  • 30 squats and 30 weightless shoulder presses.
  • Tried to be positive when talking with Boyan.
  • Took time to play with students.
  • Wrote to Jochen.
  • Called and encouraged Ellen.
  • Tried to call Echo.
  • Wrote some more relevant thoughts to Lachlan.
  • Read more online, closed some tabs but opened many more!
  • Cleared many emails.
  • Finished watching Happy!
  • Sorted new music files.
  • Studied a little Thai.

Today I tried really hard to be mindful of the things that I wanted to do. I wasn’t able to achieve all these things but having them in the front of my mind was a good exercise and something I will continue to practice. I gave quite a few students verbal compliments and confidence boosters and it was nice to get some positive feedback from them too. 
I might have to consider streamlining some email lists I’m on as I’m starting to get a little overwhelmed with so many things that I would like to explore.

I’m always changing the people and places just to fill up the empty spaces – 15th December 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Don’t set your mind on things you don’t posess as if they were yours, but count the blessings you actually possess and think how much you would desire them if they weren’t already yours.

Marcus Aurelius

What if…

I never met Amy?
Hayden was never born?
I never met Paul and Charlie?
I never saw the Sex Pistols on TV?
I never met the Gaunts Common kids, Rupert, Jeremy, etc?
I never made plans for where I live now?
I never studied anything else after getting my first job?
I never took the chance to travel to China?
I never took the time to study about Asian music?
Hayden had a disability?
I didn’t have my own space?
I hated reading books?
I didn’t enjoy music?
There was no internet?

I have so much in my life to appreciate and I really do!

“You may not sleep again”

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to look forward to ask things in my future. Just as we are now settled and made ourselves a beautiful home the question has been raised about selling and moving to the city. I really really love where I am now but selling this house would give us a huge boost of money that could take all pressure off us having to work all the time. Stay or go – everything is great!

To-do list

  • Read three chapters of Anna Karenina.
  • Sort music files and CDs (ongoing).
  • Upload TCRAH to SoulSeek.
  • 30 squats after waking up.
  • Email to Aaron.
  • Record another TCRAH?
  • Sort more files for TCRAH.
  • Close some Chrome tabs!

Did it list

  • 30 squats.
  • Sorted some music files and CDs.
  • Closed a few Chrome tabs.
  • Dictated and posted 2 blog entries.
  • Had a good time teaching the kids.
  • Went to a craft fair with Amy, Aing, Nu and Gus (enjoyable).
  • Made TCRAH available on Soulseek.

I’ve got a half tank of gas and nowhere to go – 5th December 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Best or most worthwhile investment made?

From a material point of view my best investments would be my MacBook Pro and iMac – both were premium but well worth it.

But from a practical point of view, my most worthwhile investment is in Amy and our relationship.

We have been together for over ten years and have done so many things but it doesn’t seem like it. We are obviously very familiar with each other now and life is comfortable but it never feels mundane and boring. I have been prepared to happily make sacrifices for our relationship and that has not needed to be often because we have such a good understanding of each other.

I got a warning from Facebook when I commented on a friend’s post “Get off your phone!” Somewhen around this time, I downloaded all my data from the site (not that it gets removed), cut down to about 150 friends and pretty much stopped using it except for tenzenmen posts and a second account I have for my students.

Take your time, try not to forget – 4th December 2019

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How has a failure set you up for future success?

When I was studying to learn to teach I was doing well in the first week but failed the initial assignment, eventually being given a pass. Then I failed the second assignment, eventually passing. Same with the 3rd and 4th. Initially discouraging I persisted until passing.

Those failures taught me about trying my best, not giving up. Now, when I have a bad day teaching I can consider all the factors and try my hardest to make improvements.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Amy again as she has soldiered on and cooked for me when I’m feeling under the weather but she is also not well. Today suddenly I have an urge to visit England again.

21st Apr 2021 – Just pre-Covid, this bug knocked me down for about 10 to 14 days and was by far the worst I’ve felt with the flu in the last few years. It’s unlikely that it was Covid and I think I eventually got rid of it and passed it on to others. I seem to remember a lot of people getting sick around this time.