The crying cats woke me up to feed them at 8.30 so I got up and did that but knew I wanted more sleep. Back in bed and I eventually got up at around 11.30. Hooray for a good long sleep!
I think I ended up sleeping at around 2am last night as I was reading comics til 1am and then listening to the Henry and Heidi podcast about Rollins Band.
Today I’m grateful for:
A guy called Pran. He is Baipad’s mum’s boyfriend and he got in touch with me today because he wants to understand more about Baipad because they may end up all living together.
Baipad put us in touch and was ok for me to tell him everything. I kinda understand why she doesn’t want to tell him directly. Baipad seems to like him so I hope he is a trustworthy and good guy.
The best thing about today was:
Getting back to some guitar practice. This holiday has been on and off for me, not wanting to go out into the oven of my room in the afternoons. But today I told myself to get back to it. It was a struggle to play and I know that it just needs more practice and that the more I do, the better I will get.
I also told myself that I need to get back into exercise too. I downloaded a new app to try out for motivation and will start tomorrow.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Nothing wildly out of control. I accepted that I woke up late and was even happy about it as I got enough good rest.
At various times throughout the day Amy would order me to do something and I was in the mood to acquiesce without complaint.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
With Baipad’s approval I told Pran everything that I knew about Baipad’s experience and also gave my suggestions as to what might help her. I also told him that I understood Baipad’s mum too.
Anchan said that she wanted to go to a friends house and bake. I told her to stop thinking and get going. Later on she told me that she had a good time.
Momo took this picture last week because I asked her to. With me is Baitong – a funny favourite of mine.
With the few words I write There’s just a chance you might Catch a splinter of me To guess my personality
But to draw conclusions From these brief allusions Would only go to show How little we both know
Yet every little simple rhyme Pieced together over time Forms a picture in your mind Tell me what it is you find
Today I’m feeling:
Average. Not good or bad, a little tired but not unenthusiastic. A little bored and out of sync. Missing routine and unable to manufacture my own.
(I got lazy for the rest of the day, savouring reading, eating and watching TV)
Today I’m grateful for:
(The idea that the cream puff guy usually sells at the market, which inspired me to get out of the house in search of him. He wasn’t there but I was still glad to get out.)
The best thing about today was:
(Being lazy and not caring!)
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
(See above)
Something I learned today?
(At the time, the English thought that though Australians were strong they were not brave and cut out to be soldier material, during the fighting in Gallipoli during the First World War. I found this odd as Australians still celebrate the bravery of the soldiers there. History can be shaped in any way necessary.)
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
(Continuing support for Anchan and Baipad, though I’m starting to feel a little helpless. They both must feel terrible.)
When do I feel most connected to others?
I feel weirdly connected with everyone that I know as if I saw them again after many years then nothing would have changed. This might be a problem as obviously everything has changed in that time.
It’s one of the reasons that I don’t contact people often (I’m quite happy by myself) though I do recognise that others won’t feel the same way.
I’m most connected with my students these days, again understanding that they are not connected with me in the same way. Talking and playing with students is when I feel most connected.
We are the fantastic freaks Gathering at the capital of forever At the dawn of a new age A human be-in together
We’re on a great freak forward No longer just smart monkeys We’ll purify the planet Of the garbage people junkies
Pandora’s box now opened Enlightenment impending Mindful of the messages These altered states are sending
Inspired by the comic story Storming Heaven in 2000AD Prog 2002 – artwork by Frazer Irving.
Today I’m feeling:
Surprisingly awake even getting up before my alarm.
(Later) Today has just disappeared. It’s 6pm and I haven’t really done much. I miss my routine of work days.
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s parents wishing us well for the Thai New Year.
The best thing about today was:
Cutting down all that unread email and not feeling stressed about my lesson planning.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
We tried to drive down through SanKong after lunch but the last of the long weekend water revellers jammed up traffic and after being stuck for about 15 minutes I decided to drive back out the way that we came in.
Something I learned today?
A series of studies in cognitive neuroscience found that our brains are ‘programmed’ to learn more from people we like — and less from those we dislike.
This makes sense but we must also be open to the lessons of those that we don’t like – especially if they treat us badly.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I downloaded some CBT for kids books in the hope that I can find some useful strategies, in particular, for Baipad but for any students (and myself). Could maybe even turn them into lessons.
This is our genocide so that makes it ok We’re making money and making them pay Never been the good guys, why start now Doublespeak makes us believable somehow
Accepting that our morals are better than yours Peace is treason in this world of wars If you don’t agree then we’ll have to kill you And when we need an enemy, you know, it’s still you
Blessed are we with the God-given guns Bombs with the power of multiple suns No longer left with any place to hide Welcome to our wonderful genocide
Today I’m feeling:
A little slow to get going this morning but now I’m coffeed up and lesson planning so my brain is engaged. Kinda don’t want to stop except I need to eat something!
Today I’m grateful for:
The weird Chinese tea that tasted like medicine but successfully cooled my mouth at the mala soup restaurant.
The best thing about today was:
Starting with a bang and feeling good winding down from around lunchtime until nighttime! I could’ve gotten more done but things will get done at the right time.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Baipad told me that she was hoping her mum would be sympathetic and understand how depressed she was after taking an overdose but whilst in the hospital she asked “Why don’t you just die?” Jesus Christ. I didn’t know what to say except that ‘I’m sorry’
Something I learned today?
Tibet is actually called Xizang. Not even the locals have ever called it Tibet.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
After Baipad told me what her mum said I consoled her and advised her to tell the doctor as much information as she can about her situation and feelings. She’s a little shy and scared to talk about this, preferring to hold it all in but it’s obvious that this is having a negative effect.
We dropped a case of beer to Goleng and thanked him for taking care of Amy last night after she drank too quickly and threw up around 7pm and passed out soon after! Despite that she said she had a great time and everyone was laughing with her this morning.
I took this picture because today was the last day for splashing water for Songkran.
A disappointing practice of guitar has got me down and now the blaring PA system of the neighbours celebrating Songkran is annoying me. I just want quiet – to think, to read. It was fun to see the children preparing to start splashing everyone this morning though.
The skies are clearer than the last few weeks, there’s some breeze and the temperature quite bearable. Only one thing for us to do today – shopping.
Today I’m grateful for:
Art giving me a free cake for Songkran today.
Also, Amy wanting to go to Big C and allowing me to drop a couple of things in the trolley that I wanted.
She also paid for Swenson’s ice cream for our dessert – which was great and all but nothing on LungChom’s ice cream.
Needless to say, I’m putting on weight this month.
The best thing about today was:
Finding a baby cow at the front door!
We both heard some mooing outside our living room window but it sounded to me as if it was in the field at the back. A few minutes later we heard it at the front, though thought it was still coming from the field next door.
A second time though and we went to investigate to find the little cutie confused on how to get back to its mum that was calling from the field next door.
We were eventually able to usher it out and back where it immediately got to suckling and security.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Both Baipad and Anchan have been out of contact for a couple of days.
There’s nothing to be done, I just hope that they are both doing ok for now.
Something I learned today?
I found a very funny comedian on YouTube called Dan Rath. He’s from Sydney too.
What’s a question I’ve been pondering lately?
I have been thinking a little about what is next? Am I just going to keep on documenting my life up until this point without really adding anything further to it? Am I done?
I am weirdly happy and satisfied though.
Or am I just old, tired and lazy?
Pondering questions raises more questions.
I took this picture because we take pictures of our visitors.
She, little fighting girl walking the woods, The big bad wolves ripped her pretty dress, All her dreams now become a nightmare, She skirts around the pain deep inside her.
He runs wild, teeth and snarl, with big bad wolves, Egged on and eager, salivating so, ripping at her pretty dress, her cries echo into the darkness of his soul.
Inspired after reading Yassy’s poem, the form is apparently a tetracyt. Also submitted to NaPoMo.
Today I’m feeling:
A little stressed with my morning coffee and trying to get my brain in gear with the lesson planning. It’s kicking in slowly and I’m familiar with this stage of progress when I have many, many ideas floating around and can’t keep up with them. The rest of the day has been up and down.
Today I’m grateful for:
Momo making it to lunch today, after she messaged me yesterday that she may not be able to make it. With Popo and Baitong we had a good catch-up over pizza and I’m happy to hear their English improvements since we last met.
The best thing about today was:
Firstly, not having to pay anything for my dental appointment and then trying the pharmacy at Central and finding 50mg tramadol for only 45 baht.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Baipad messaged me this morning telling me that she was in the hospital as she attempted to overdose (which I presume must have been last night).
I didn’t get much more information from her so I’m not sure what brought this on. It suggests something happened out in her family village which is a bit of a worry as she mentioned bad things happening to her there before.
In the evening Anchan messaged me that she too was also in the hospital but for her it was for stomach ulcers, brought on by the stress of her family situation, no doubt.
She also told me that she and her brother also inherited the heart problem that killed her father a couple of years ago.
Something I learned today?
This morning we found that a tile from our roof got blown off in the storm last night. Amy learned that trying to get someone to come and fix it is a complete pain in the ass.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Trying to keep on encouraging Baipad and Anchan through their difficulties.
Treating Popo, Momo and Baitong to a pizza lunch and then playing along with their TikTok videos. It was great to catch up with them, three of my favourite students.
I took this picture because how could I refuse my favourite students asking to make TikTok videos in the shopping mall in front of passing shoppers.
I’ll play a song for you, in this empty room Spill my heart for no one else to hear And when I reach the end of my tune I’ll turn off the lights and disappear
The memory of my words will stay Reverberating around these cold walls And when you wander by one day You will hear the whisper of my calls
“Be careful what you wish for When hope blinds you to the signs Forgetting that less means more Living the curse of interesting times”
A little slow to get going this morning as I turned off my alarm to sleep an extra hour.
Starting to think about getting lessons in order and writing new ones for my new classes. It’s giving me some good background anxiety but I trust myself to be able to pull everything together.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finally being able to book flights to Bangkok and back in May to see Arwith and the bands I’ve been working with.
The best thing about today was:
Eating mala sticks this evening. A simple thing but we haven’t done that for a long while.
It was hot enough, even at 8pm, to sweat when sitting still so eating those spicy sticks didn’t really make much difference!
Something I learned today?
Booking AirAsia flights on the website was giving me trouble but using the app on my phone worked instantly.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Staying in touch with Anchan to try and help her through this time.
Talking with Baipad about dealing with her mental health issues.
Pretty good even though I slept badly due to aching shoulders. I should probably get them checked out as it’s been painful for about six months already.
I got up early so that I could watch the Swans game this morning.
I need to book flights to Bangkok to meet up with Arwith in early May, order a filter for our air purifier and will take Baipad and Butter to practice riding the motorbike again.
In amongst all that I’ll do all the things I usually do too; reading, writing, thinking and planning.
Today I’m grateful for:
My alarm getting me up and into action this morning. I could easily have slept another three hours but glad that I gave myself that extra time to do things.
The best thing about today was:
It’s been a pretty good day all round. It was 41 degrees and the house was like an oven so I spent most of my time in aircon.
I didn’t read or play guitar today but did clear up a backlog of emails.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When I got back from coffee I prepared everything to watch the AFL but it wasn’t working, which was unusual. I saw one error about location so I downloaded a free VPN and tried some different locations. None of those worked either but they also didn’t have the option to set the server to Australia.
I checked if the Highlights and Mini Matches still worked and they were fine. But even last week’s full match replays were no longer available.
I searched online to see if there might be some information about this and ended up posting on Reddit. Whilst waiting for any response I found another VPN that had an Australian server and finally, I was able to watch the game (which was an unconvincing win).
It looks like someone else had the same problem too so I guess I need to figure out a VPN to watch full games in future. The one I used, TunnelBear, has a 2G data limit and I’m not sure if that is daily, weekly or monthly. I really don’t want to have to pay for a VPN just to watch one match a week.
Something I learned today?
Butter’s mum came and introduced herself to me and when we got back from riding I also met his dad and sister, Cookie! Great names!
Cookie will start grade 7 at my school next month though I won’t be teaching her.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
More encouragement for Butter and Baipad with motorbike riding.
Butter has pretty much got it already and Baipad improved a little more today too. I think that gave her a mini confidence boost.
I can see from her actions that whatever bullying she suffered when she was younger has really knocked her self-confidence. She is still vulnerable to other people who could easily bully and manipulate her.
I also sent another 100 baht to Anchan.
When was the last time I tried something new?
Although I can’t pinpoint it I believe that I try something new every day. The journey through our minutes is diverted off course consistently. Even the Trumans Show fell apart eventually and Groundhog Day was never actually the same.
But something deliberately new? So something interesting? Not just a new restaurant, a new book, a new poem, a new song to listen to?
How about a new country, a new house, a new job, a new hobby?
Read anything here, there is nothing new and something new on every page.
Write about a time when you laughed uncontrollably.
Back in 1989 (I think) I was thrilled to be outside of England for the first time in my life and playing shows with my friends in Belgium and Holland. I soon bonded with our Dutch host Mark and we would drink, get high and laugh a lot much like any other early twenty-year-olds would.
At this one of our shows, which was an amazingly fun night where Mike, from the New York band Shaved Pigs (who had hung on a bit longer after their tour had finished the week previous) joined us on saxophone for our epic jam tune, there was a radio interview at the end of the evening.
Thoroughly happy and drunk, Mark, who was the interviewer, asked me to recite a couple of poems that I had written that he had seen before.
I think I read The Day The Apples Turned To Poison but hassled for more I was requested to read She Lost Her Virginity To A Worm. The anticipation in the room for this short poem was too much and I couldn’t even get to the end of it as Mark and I were in fits of giggles.
A fascinating radio listen? I doubt very much!
I took this picture because His Majesty was looking regal, watching over the dining room this morning. I’m so glad that he is feeling better this week.
Like time is running away too fast. I should not waste what I have been given. But is any of it worthwhile? Well, it has to be. I convince myself.
Today I’m grateful for:
The man at the bottle shop who put the tray of soda water onto the back seat of the truck for me.
The best thing about today was:
Taking Baipad and her neighbour Butter (another one, a boy this time, though quite effeminate) up to the University to teach them to ride a motorbike.
Baipad struggled but Butter picked it up quickly. It was only after talking with them both a little more I discovered that Butter had learned how to ride a pushbike but Baipad never did. Butter still has a bike so I told Baipad to practice on that as soon as possible. Better she falls off that than a motorbike.
After a few more goes Baipad improved every time but she needs to practice more to get her balance worked out.
Something I learned today?
The current Zionist-enforced famine in Gaza is the highest number of people ever recorded as facing catastrophic hunger. Worse than Darfur, Somalia and Yemen.
Israel teaching the world how to genocide. The irony?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I fixed the hose with the new connector that Amy picked up. Works perfectly again.
Teaching riding a motorbike to a couple of 15-year-olds.
What’s one thing I can simplify?
I have simplified a lot over the last few years. As my main focus now is teaching I think that I could simplify my classes for my students, though more importantly for myself.
Sometimes I overestimate the ability of my students and with the usual disparity of skill levels in a single classroom it is a delicate balance to try and keep everyone happy.
I took this picture because one day these kids will look back and remember when they didn’t know how to ride a bike.
Phlegmy and short of breath. I slept fairly well but yesterday another piece of porcelain fell off one of my teeth and has made it sensitive. One tooth fixed, another one broke!
Today I’m grateful for:
A storm! Hooray! I noted last year that we had a storm around this time in March which cleared the air for a while, but then got much worse as more fires were lit once it dried out again, which doesn’t take long. The forecast is for ten or more days of 35-degree plus sunny weather after today! Oh well, enjoy the air while it is breathable.
The best thing about today was:
Getting some positive feedback on some of my poetry and being inspired to write more, as well as trying to read and appreciate more of what others write.
Something I learned today?
My old student, and Baipad’s best friend, Jan will change schools to Sammakhi next semester. I hope Baipad doesn’t miss her too much though she knew that they wouldn’t be in the same class next year anyway, so she was hopefully a little prepared to accept this news.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Again, I randomly messaged a few of my students to chat and encourage them in their holidays. Tonaor was having a bad time with a boy so I comforted and encouraged her. And of course, I congratulated Jan on getting into Sammakhi.
I also messaged Nice, my old primary student, who I will teach again next semester. I asked for her input to help me plan what to teach them and she was very helpful, which I really appreciated.
When I got home at lunchtime Amy wanted to take Cap to the vet, which was ok with me. In the end, I’m glad we did as one of his blood levels was slightly high and they recommended for him to stay in a couple of days on a drip to help stabilise that because it can become more critical.
Amy took this picture because the surprise morning storm blew all the smoke away to reveal the blue sky again. Though only for an hour or two!
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