Tag: cat

I Don’t Care About You – 31st March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The biggest news story in the world
Feels like a stunt for clicks and views
A cynical celebrity advertisement
Where all concerned stand to lose

A slap heard around the world
Is irrelevant to anything we do
Don’t waste time on whats and whys
When all you hear can’t be true

Your lives are as meaningless as mine
We are all just blood and bones
Our status is an illusion we live
Our eternity all spent under stones

My opinions as meaningless as yours
Why bother to waste this breath?
Of many a lesson ever learned
We win no awards with our death

6th Apr 2024 – Submitted to RagTag Daily Prompt

If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company.

Jean Paul Sartre

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Cap comes and gives me head rubs throughout the day. He’s not a lap cat at all so I’ll take what I can get.

Sylvia’s Door – 20th February 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The world dies each time I close my eyes
And born again when I open them once more
Yet I treat this miracle with little surprise
As if knowing what lies beyond each door

Over today’s painting I’m filled with pride; it will be equalled by tomorrow’s despair over the very same pictures.

Rockwell Kent

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to see little (fat) Kim Chi running around our house and going crazy, just like a good healthy cat. She’s so happy.

Not In The Mood For It – 16th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I woke up well but things took a turn
The fruit was off and the toast did burn
Driving in the rain was such a chore
The podcaster talking was just a bore
The thought of coffee didn’t improve
This bad mood I was needing to soothe
The big truck guy wouldn’t let me through
Things were getting worse – it’s true
Today’s headaches won’t let me be
But at least the dog was happy to see me
…..
So, coffee consumed, helped a bit
Things weren’t so bad, I had to admit
Just plough on through, get on with it
Even if everything returns to shit

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to play with Kim Chi this morning (and this weekend). She loves to rub her nose on my fingers and my own nose and purrs in happiness.

Almost missed writing this today as I spent my time adding posts to my blog when I was free.

The morning started off a bit down and a couple of very minor incidents almost brought me to the idea of having a shitty day but I realise this and kinda talked myself out of it and now the day has disappeared.

I’m once again grateful to my students in 2/9, whom I teach in the mornings, and who always seem to pick me up. I’m also really enjoying reading my books. I can get totally absorbed in them.

I did forget to call Hayden today, though, perhaps when I get home or tomorrow. I subscribed to Ryan Holiday’s dad emails in the hope of some inspiration for me to inspire him!

Fat Cat – 26th July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

You’re a fat cat hiding
But you can’t really hide
Your belly is sticking out
Of the box on either side

Climbing up on the shelf
With the picture as your screen
Your paw hanging over the edge
So you can still be seen

Let’s play this game longer
I know you want to dash outside
But everyone is watching
Everyone knows where you hide

15th Aug 2024 – Submitted to What’s Going On – dogs and cats

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that we could take Tigger to the vet today. He’s been a little subdued and not eating much and due to his condition, we erred on the side of caution. He’ll be there for a few days.

Sometimes my mood changes suddenly and I just cancel everything. The last few days I’ve been tired and was looking forward to a lazy long weekend, which it has been in general but I had committed to teaching online for Ellen on these days off and I just feel like my brain isn’t in the right place.

It’s weird but when I get up early and go to school I end up with more energy to do more things. I find if I have a relaxed morning, I really struggle to motivate myself.

So, with a tired weakness, I cancelled my lessons for today and for Wednesday, which is also a holiday. On Tuesday I have to go to work and should be ok to do the extra classes after school. I should try not to get stuck like this and work myself up to being ready to go whenever asked of me.

Sometimes, I think my life is too easy. Sometimes I feel like I need pain and stress to work, to appreciate living. I can relax but why can’t I relax correctly! My brain….

Don’t want a life of lies and pretence – 18th February 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Cat cries – wake up call – got a present for you, toss and turn – nice dreams again, forgotten or fading already.
Cranky neck, cricks and creaks.
Birds call – wake up, the sun is coming, left big toe throbs in pain.
Welcome to another day.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my weird independent personality. I prefer just to keep myself amused over trying to keep everyone around me engaged. It’s not that I’m cold but it’s just the way I am. I work hard for my students and other younger people – I offer them my advice and my point of view and expression are just as valid as any other teacher’s methods, I’m sure.

Amy’s alcoholic uncle got killed, being hit by two cars, so we’ve been running around a little bit sorting things out for his small funeral. He was not particularly well like so there wasn’t much to attend to in the end and everything was over within two days.

Someone mentioned that the size of the funeral is a reflection of the person’s life. Steve’s funeral was attended by so many people it was standing-room only. But, so what? Do either of them care? I think that they would both ask for a chance to do it all over again.

Amy wishes for a small funeral. Me too.

Both classes today were enjoyable as I watched kids trying a little more than usual to do and say the right things. Dylan and I both agreed it was weird how some days the students are all good and other days they can be a nightmare.

Yesterday I stopped to talk to some students in the canteen and a couple asked me to teach them more English so I’m trying to arrange to help them out once a week. They gave me the impression they were keen to study and that is what I am looking for in the students. Let’s see.

All in all, the working days have been good this week.

English summer garden, Colehill – 12th June 1994

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

22nd Jan 2024 – These shots are taken from an old camcorder tape. They feel 90s. Watching old music videos from this time, they seem to share a similar lack of clarity that is quite endearing. Like how old video games were better before, when the emphasis was on gameplay instead of display quality.

22nd Jan 2024 – No one ever told me that my glasses were crooked. I was probably still dumb enough to believe that I would have to get my nose fixed for glasses to ever be straight. I only actually started wearing glasses around 1993. It was a big step for me because it felt like there being something defective about my body. I still wanted to be cool and somehow, glasses weren’t cool. 

22nd Jan 2024 – The English summers are made special by the atrocious weather for about 9 months of the year. This cat is Maya.

22nd Jan 2024 – As my mum aged slowly over the years I never really thought much about how her features changed. This picture shows how I mostly visualise her face these days. Mum and Bronwyn in the garden at the back of our house.

22nd Jan 2024 – I was going for the relaxed laid-back, slacker look which would become popular in the 90s. I was certainly feeling good at this time as I knew I was escaping life in England and a job that I had exhausted my options in. The future lay ahead. If it was scary, I had some self-belief and I somewhat put all my trust in Bronwyn and all she had told me about Australia.

*The Week That Was – 21st May 1984

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Record of the week: Confessions of Sin – Confession, Self Abuse – Loose, PCH – (This is not) Call The Cops
Record of the month – Subhumans LP, Confessions of Sin (live)

21st May 1984
Was going to start The Scar last night but started it today instead. Read half of it then watched film – which was ok. Had a bath. Then went to Houldey’s. They were setting up their new suite. Came back. Rang Paul. Talked for a while. Found out Zoe rang, said she’d ring again tomorrow. Watched Hill Street Blues. Read some more then went to sleep.

22nd May 1984
Decided not to go to school. When I woke up I started reading book. Finished it at 4 o’clock. It was a good book. Haven’t been doing anything otherwise. Went to Houldey’s. Found out Kathryn will go out with me when she’s finished with whoever. Zoe rang and apologised for Saturday. Dunno what else I did. Drew In Execlsis on my wall. Went to sleep.

23rd May 1984
Woke up early for some reason. Jez came round at about 10. Jim came at 10.30. Drew things on wall. Decided to do some PCH. Went to Houldey’s. Only Beki was there. I came back and got some sugar. Took our tape back and played it. Came back and did some more PCH. Came in. Jim and Jez went. I went to Houdley’s. Went to get some petrol. Came back. Came back. Went to Jez’s. Had a shit game of snooker. JC was there – cunt. Went to Ben’s. Went to a barn (?) on my bike. Came back. Spurs won UEFA Cup on penalties. Film was shit.

24th May 1984
Woke up about 10.30. Took dog. Went to Wimborne. Saw Liz eh. Got haircut. Bought some paints and gel. Came back. Went to Houldey’s. Had a chat with Beki. Came back. Wrote some of book. Didn’t do fuck all. Went to Jez’s. We went to Ben’s, spent ages trying to find him. He was with Harrison. Recorded tape to tape – stuff for Crass. We left at 10. I got back at 10.30. Dunno what I did but it must’ve been good.

25th May 1984
Woke up. Got letter from Zoe. Photos returned – so I decided to take them back to Bernice. Went to Wimborne – she weren’t home. Went round town. Saw a few old faces but not Bernice. Went to Jim’s. They’d just left to go to Poole. Left photos at Jim’s. Came home. Went to Jez’s to get money he owed me. Went to Houldey’s. Good news. Kathryn will go out with me. I think I was supposed to ring her but I’m not sure. Came home. Rang Paul and Andy. There’s a gig tomorrow at the squat but I can’t go. Went to sleep.

26th May 1984
Woke up. Watched TV. Was going to go to Wimborne but couldn’t be fucked – too wet. Got petrol and paper. Finished another book – Tarotown. Watched England V Scotland (1-1). Started Beast on my wall. Went to Houdley’s, no one there apart from Mr. H. Came back. Started painting the Beast’s head. Finished at about 11.20 – looks fuckin’s superb. Pissed off cos I can’t get Kathryn’s phone number. Watched film – Harry In Your Pocket – good.

27th May 1984
Woke up 12.10. Did fuck all. Had a bath. (?) went to get cat for Lorna. Stewart gave my mum a fiver – I had £2. Ben came over. His mum took us to Jim’s. Jum’s old man took us down to Winton. Pissed around for an hour. Got tickets off Andy. Cinema was a pit. Takano – ok. COF – fuckin’ brilliant. Self Abuse – brilliant. Got chucked out of a pub. Mum collected us. Took Jim back. Ben stayed the night.

*The Week That Was – 27th February 1984

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Record of the week: Birthday Party – Bad Seed, Minutemen – Clocks, Black Flag – Machine
Record of the month: DOA – Bloodied But Unbowed

27th February 1984
Got up 7.00 after 6 hours sleep. Physics – Hayward was in a mood – we had a go at each other. Saw Liz holding on to (?) hand tightly. Maths – me and Mandy were talking about Wednesday’s party. Chesh, (?) and Nick had some dope, so I had some. Bought a stick off Chesh. Social Studies – pretty boring. H.E. found out more about (?). Got home. Rang Justin – told of the new group name – he liked it. Aischrolateria. Smoked the dope – and fuck all. Did some Maths. Saw an ace film. Bluebird and Dirtwater Fox or something. Goldie Hawn was in it – hmm. Found out Kathryn’s got a boyfriend. Did the stars say this would be a romantic month – we’ll see.

9th June 2023 – looking up this morning, it’s called The Duchess and Dirtwater Fox. Guessing I was liking it because Goldie Hawn was looking hot in it.

28th February 1984
R.E. did a bit of Maths. PSCE had a propaganda talk from an army cunt. Maths – talking to Murray about the system – he’s caught. Business Studies – did fuck all. Told Chesh I wasn’t gonna give him my money for the dope. Teach him a lesson. English – had a chat about power and video. P.E. Basketball was a laugh. Chesh had a joint nicked and looked very upset. FUCKIN’ HA HA. Chris was following the bus so everyone ignored him. Giving Kathryn a quid to see the Thompson Twins. Went to see Dandy to confirm if Kathryn hasn’t got a boyfriend – yet. God – I hate war.

29th February 1984
H.E. not too bad. Physics – ok, actually did some work. Chesh is not threatening me with violence. HA FUCKIN’ HA. R.E. – boring. English – not too bad. B.Studies – fuckin’ shit. Maths – shit. Getting on with all the girls so maybe it is my romantic month. Was expecting Jim to come round but the bastard didn’t turn up. Watching football instead, England – France 0-2 last I heard. Thinking about things. Julie reckons she’ll go down Poole with me one day.

1st March 1984
I hear Kathryn got off with Chris. Oh well. Cracking up at Martin all day. Art – not too bad. P.E. – ok. Social Studies – ok. B. Studies – boring. English – quite good. Spent my fuckin’ dinner money on sweets today – pissed off about that. Went on run round school with a fag. Had a laugh with a Tampax. Got my driving licence – just need tax, MOT and servicing. Rang Justin – we may have a practice Sunday 11th. Jim had to stay round last night cos he was giving Lorna some jip.

2nd March 1984
Assembly by Crud. Yawn. English – ok. Pissed off for some reason. H.E. – ok. Maths – shit. Didn’t do much at lunchtime. Bernice admitted to having it 23 times with Jim. Art – ok. Martin was hanging around me at break. B. Studies – DM – no homework – oh dear. Physics – bit of a laugh. Went down to the chip van on ‘ped – saw everyone. Beki’s going to get fucked by James Dean tomorrow night. Went to Muz’s – played The Gate and few other things. Came back. Didn’t see the cat at all – bit worried.

3rd March 1984
Cat came in happy – not even limping. Took moped to Wimborne for MOT. Went to Poole – bought Chunks and Bad Seed. Tara gave me the book. Saw Justin. Went on up to Pam’s. She seemed alright. Dusty came along – told me what he’s been up to. We had a chat about religion and good and evil. Walked back to Poole. Simon and Ratty. Ratty said he can’t practice on Sundays. Caught bus back. Met a nice girl – Nicky Miller (Midge) and had a chat. Rich got on in Wimborne – said Kris got sent off in football for scrapping. 2-2. Got home – disappointed with Chunks. Bad Seed’s good though.

4th March 1984
Got up 11.30. Didn’t do much. Had breakfast. Had dinner. Went to Murray’s – he’s gone fishing. Came back. Had a wank. Played some records. Had a bath. Started painting backdrop yesterday, did some more on it today. Going to Simon’s tomorrow to have a practice with him and Ratty. Went down to see Murray. Me and Graeme got chucked out cos his grandad died. What a wonderful world.

9th June 2023 – You can see from the picture that it’s no surprise that it took me more than an hour to decipher this. I was writing more words than ever before but nothing much of any substance but at least, thankfully, some reminders of events.

*The Week That Was – 2nd January 1984

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Records of the week: Violators – Live Fast Die Young, Red Alert – We’ve Got The Power, Plastmatics – New Hope For The Wretched

2nd January 1984
Group meeting at Justin’s – everyone got on alright I think. Me and Baldie had to get bus back to Wimborne cos Simon didn’t know he was supposed to take me back. It’s pissing down at the moment. Waiting for something exciting to happen.

30th Apr 2023 – Baldie was Gareth Balderson. I’d forgotten that he was in Simon’s year at school and a friend of his. In a few year’s time, he would be someone I would score hash off and he introduced me to the wonders of listening to Gong whilst stoned. Simon Bradbury was a couple of years older than Justin and me and was a loveable skinhead despite looking mean but I guess that is part of their fashion.

3rd January 1984
Cat’s feeling a bit lonely at the moment. I think I’ll cheer him up later. Grange Hill has started again. Been reading most of the day. Midnight Cowboy is on tonight. We’re in the middle of a power cut at the moment. I’ve just finished reading The Dark as well – ironic. Started Time Enough For Love.

4th January 1984
Apparently the cat has had an accident – he’s got a bad tail. Cat’s been looking pretty bad all day. Just finishing letter to Zoe at the mo’. Something happened today but I can’t remember what. Should have a practice on Sunday.

5th January 1984
There’s not a lot happening at the moment. I’m about to watch CHiPs. Justin doesn’t seem to know about a practice but wants everyone to come over. Andy wants to practice but wants to see the Subhumans on Saturday night in Andover. I might go with him.

6th January 1984
Got a new mattress today – thank god. Justin reckons there is no practice so it looks like it’ll have to be next Sunday. Should be able to go and see Subhumans now it Andy’s going. Not a lot else has been happening (as last Friday)

7th January 1984
Went to Poole in the afternoon again. Met Simon and Justin – had a laugh. Got back and found out Andy had called about the Subhumans. So, I couldn’t go. Found out there’s a gig on the 21st. Youth Brigade LP has come but didn’t buy it. Rosemary’s Baby and Don’t Go To Sleep were on – good.

8th January 1984
Got up 12. Reading most of the time. Went out and climbed trees. The Goodies was on. Andy called and said sorry but it wasn’t any good according to him. Been playing darts as well. Getting bored watching James Bond at the moment.

*The Week That Was – 25th December 1983

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

25th December 1983
Well, it’s Christmas. The cat slept with me. Forgot to make my mum a cup of tea – was so tired as I didn’t get to sleep til 2.
Had 2 and a half bottles of Merrydown so was very merry all day.
Zoe called me and talked for one and a half hours.
Cat slept with me again.
Social Distortion – Mommy’s Little Monster
Minor Threat – Out of Step
MDC – Multi Death Corporations
Menstrual Cycles – Skin/Punx

26th December 1983
See next diary

28th December 1983
Carrie’s on

Forward Engagements
6th January 1984 – Subhumans/Self Abuse/(maybe us)

SATAN’S CHILDREN SONGS
Lyrics:
BE DAMNED
DECAY
ENTER THE PIT
POLYTECHNIC SONG
IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW MANY REAGANS YOU SHOOT
YOU”RE THE DEVIL NOW
DOGSHIT DANGER
GAS MASK DANCE
BAUHAUS
SATAN’S CHILDREN
ABBATOIRS
GOD AND LIGHT
DICKHEADS ANONYMOUS
DULCE ET DECORUM EST
HALLSBALLS

Music and Lyrics:
DOCTOR MARTEN BOOTS
POLYTECHNIC SONG
LOUIE LOUIE
SATAN’S CHILDREN
ABBATOIRS

Practices: 1

21 Dec 1983
Jan 83 – Simon sacked from Species
Jun 83 – Species split
Me, Justin, Simon got together and the idea born – Violent Rubbish
Justin’s friend Paul Reid said he may be interested in playing guitar
Aug 83 – Justin, Simon, Paul and Rick had a practice while I was on holiday.
Sep 83 – Kenty persuaded Paul to leave
2nd Butcher gig at Capones – got Andy to be our guitarist
Oct 83 – Had a practice at Herbert Carter
Nov 83 – Tried to play at Cult Maniax gig – Andy had diabetes attack – changed name to Satan’s Children
Dec 83 – Gig planned with Subhumans and Self Abuse – Jan
Cliff may be joining