Tag: China

The Visitor – 6th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Our visitor, quiet by our side
So close, so very close
There’s no one else and nothing happens
We share this realm
There’s no ordinary language
Just the feeling of unbounded love
The presence remains
Long after the sun turns golden
The comfort the visitor brings
– Hope to see you again

inspired by (and phrases appropriated from) Nick Cave’s Red Hand Files

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and relaxed.

Today I’m grateful for:

The iron, the ironing board, electricity, TV, Netflix, Sex Education and spare time. All these combined saw me knock off the pile of 20-plus shirts that now hang, reasonably smooth, in my wardrobe.

The best thing about today was:

Shaving off a five-day beard growth with a new razor. I always try to make my razors last well past their supposed use date which is something ridiculous like 15 shaves. But I’m also always relieved when I switch to a new one and can get a clean shave with no rashes or cuts.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My main computer has been slowly dying for the last two years and is being particularly troublesome today after not having any issues at all yesterday. I get to the point where I’m resigned to the fact that I’ll have to buy a new one and then it will suddenly start working ok again for a few months. This time might be the end though.

Something I learned today?

I watched a video about the Two Sessions in China. The National People’s Congress and the CPPCC ( I forget exactly what this acronym is now). They meet every year and elect new leaders every five. What was interesting was that they clearly represent a wide range of peoples and groups throughout the whole country.

What is a defining moment of my life?

Moving away from the UK – really the whole impetus for this blog which has now morphed into something else.

Meeting TLJ – the start of a long difficult recovery.

Meeting Amy – the becoming of a truly independent adult and finding deep happiness.

I took this picture because as I was arriving at Utopia this morning the leaves’ symmetry struck me, requesting a photo to be taken.

Although the semester isn’t over and I still have things to do, it already feels like holiday.
Today is another Buddhist holiday too so I’m taking advantage of the free time. I ploughed through the shirts whilst watching Netflix – the semi-watchable but very contrived Sex Education. The best thing about it is the setting in a beautiful part of England that I’ll look up and find because I’d like to go there and check it out for real.
The air quality fucking sucks right now and the mountains are barely visible but I’ve forced myself out again, to sit at Daytripper, read, write and reflect.

Less People – 4th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We don’t really need less people
To make the world a better place
We just need less people like you
Pouring hatred into its space

Today I’m feeling:

Content, tired

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady as Sensi Weed who gives me an extra free gummy when I go there. I know she will give it to everyone but I don’t expect it so I’m grateful.

The best thing about today was:

Today started off pretty well with a 30-minute snooze after my wake-up alarm, feeding the cats, putting the washing on and then having a couple of great coffees at Utopia. Good way to set up the rest of the day.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Taking Cap to the vet for his yearly vaccines and blood check and him needing a supplement for a couple of weeks to fix up some blood count.

Along with having to order new food and pick up even more at the store I’m down about 5000 baht today. But that’s what has to be done as a pet owner.

Something I learned today?
I
learned a little about the medical system in China thanks to Jerry’s Take on China which started development under Mao with what were called The Barefoot Doctors scattered around all rural parts of the country. This developed into the current state-of-the-art support system in place now.

I was surprised to find that many of the officials running the system are not CPC members but members of the Peasants and Workers Democratic Party. Jerry cites the system as an example of people forming policy that meets their own needs, a system truly democratic.

Who am I grateful for today?

The baristas at Utopia, the staff at the pet store, the vets at Dr Arnon, the lady at Sensi Weed, Gui at House, my students still doing Duolingo, all the people who made videos that I watched online and the people who wrote the books and comics I read today. And many more I have forgotten.

I took this picture because roof cat Kim Chi is back! I haven’t seen her up here for a year or more but this morning she is happily full of energy and ran out from the dining room, along the path and up the tree to the roof.

This Is Your Fuel – 20th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Suck up all the art
Fill yourself with beauty
Become a state of being
Admit yourself this duty
We need you here
You’re needed now
Your inquisition
Inspires somehow

Within enrichment’s search
Potential will be realised
Corrosive forces negated
Leaves creatives satisfied
This is your art
Your appreciation
Forever fuelling
Fires of inspiration

Today I’m feeling:

Surprisingly ok despite a lack of sleep last night.

Today I’m grateful for:

The traditional Thai brooms that I used this afternoon to sweep leaves off our paths and terrace. I’ve grown to like them over time. I used the prefer a hard sweeping brush but that wouldn’t be so useful for these leaves.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing my first class with about 30 minutes spare so I let the kids go and some invited me to play volleyball with them.

Later some of my students from my second class seemed in a jovial mood and happy to come to my lesson when usually they have other things on their minds.

Both classes were quite raucous but I was able to eventually guide them through and maybe even one or two of them actually learned something.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’m still playing catch up on household chores and want to vacuum and mop the floors but I can’t get everything done. Or perhaps I’m just a little too lazy to knock it all off in one night.

Tomorrow afternoon I’ll have some extra time but I’m already thinking to go to Daytripper and chilling there!

When I’m thinking about things getting out of my control for this question I’m usually focused on emotional control and in general that has been quite stable recently.

Something I learned today?

I found out about a group of women called Codepink who have been protesting in the US against the war in Ukraine and against the sabre rattling and machinations of the war machine towards China. Good on them. Now they need to get the rest of the American people on board to convince their government against further escalations.

What am I thinking about right now?

The smell of cat pee! My students. Cat pee. Making the bed. Washing my hands. A snack? The smell. My own pee. My aching back. Today’s journal entries. A whole lot of thoughts about nothing in particular. My version of ignorance is bliss.

I took this picture because I’ve had to cover my mattress with Snake Brand Prickly Heat Cooling Powder in an attempt to cover up the smell of cat pee. I’m not sure how well it’s going to work or what side effects I might experience once laid down in bed.

The smell is overpowering. If there is a purgatory it is surely full of cat piss.
Sitting and making video presentations over the weekend was reasonably enjoyable as far as having to do extra school activities goes though the conditions to make them were less than favourable and it wasn’t exactly made clear that we had to do them and why we had to be doing them there and then.
In fact, it was my guess that it wasn’t necessary at all and by the end of the day nothing was said when neither David nor I had finished videos. I had already decided on what I wanted to do and that I would submit it later when conditions were more suitable.
What has all this got to do with cat piss? One of our bastard cats (otherwise lovely) pissed all over my bed and it sank into the mattress. No matter how much perfume I sprayed on it and had beautiful new clean sheets it meant that every time I rolled over and awoke slightly that terrible smell brought me around and I started thinking about perfecting this damn video! I’m not sure I’ll make it – I suppose I could be doing it now.
Well, that’s kinda my story for the weekend and despite only about five hours sleep I feel okay right now at 10 am. My first class was rowdy but okay. The kids were super happy to finish early and I went and played volleyball with them for a bit before their next class.
I’m trying to figure out if I’m imagining the smell of cat piss or if it is somehow on my skin or clothes or just particles of ammonia stuck in my nose. I’ll have to figure something out for the mattress before sleeping tonight – I’d like to put it in the sun but worried other cats will come along and add to the odour.

8th Nov 2023 – I never made any video in the end and typically, nothing was said. None of the foreign teachers have been doing it so far. Keep smiling.

Google It – 14th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Just give me the answer
I don’t want to think
The end result the same
No waste of pen and ink

I don’t want to learn
Just want to jump the queue
Find the fast way forward
And the easiest way through

Smart enough to cheat
I’ll copy from the best
And when the time comes
I’ll just bluff the test

If I end up in the field
Painfully planting rice
I’ll remember those times
At the top were really nice

Today I’m feeling:

Smooth, content. I didn’t get enough sleep last night but it hasn’t put me in a bad mood, more like a dream state that I’m gliding through.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady that always serves me at Oasis. She recognises me now and knows that I like to add sugar, vinegar and pickled chilli to my food.

The best thing about today was:

Relaxing a little into my classes today and enjoying the interactions with everyone. I was also heartened to receive small Valentine’s gifts from my old students as well as stickers from my current ones.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy called me and was annoyed and upset. I’d been to the hospital to see the psyche but I didn’t wait around to get the meds as there were too many people waiting. I knew I could come back later when it was quieter.

At some point, the hospital called Amy’s number because I hadn’t collected the meds. Amy’s phone diverts to her mum here in Thailand and then she calls Amy. I don’t know why no one calls me!

Amy checked on the camera and thought I wasn’t at home as I’d kept the doors all closed because of the air pollution but I was in the living room eating food and watching TV. When she called she wanted to know where I’d been and talked in an accusatory manner and this annoyed me as I was feeling very good until then.

Anyway, a little while later I’d worked my mood back into feeling positive again and called her at our regular time. She was tired and still a little grumpy so we didn’t talk long. Everything will be fine again.

Something I learned today?

I’ve read a little about a serious train derailment in Ohio that caused a huge explosion of dangerous toxic chemicals and that it hasn’t got much coverage there as the US focuses its media towards its coming war with China and having its population on board with that idea. Some reports have said that the effects of the situation are worse than a nuclear reactor meltdown!

I can feel it will soon be time to disconnect from news again soon. Everything is just seemingly fucked everywhere you look.

What makes me laugh?

Really there are not many things that make me laugh as such. I still enjoy comedy etc but that has a purpose to make you laugh. So the main thing that makes me laugh is, of course, my students. They make me laugh when they are happy and playful but also when they are angry and emotional.

I took this picture because the morning sun burns red through the haze on the horizon.

惊弓之鸟 – 11th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

The shadows hold wicked smiles
The potential for evil convinces
Birds startled by bowstrings
Plucked by the hands of princes

Memories engrained with fear
Of the terrible bowstrings twang
Paralysed in body and mind
In a world that no longer sang

To live in fear of life
Is no way to live at all
Fly high up into the skies
And don’t be scared to fall

Chinese Proverb
20th Mar 2024 – Submitted to #Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge Smiles

Today I’m feeling:

Reasonably content though still a little tired.

Today I’m grateful for:

The car service only costing a little over 1000 baht though I’m curious about what they actually did. At least I can see they cleaned the car.

The best thing about today was:

Spending the afternoon watching Kishore Mahbubani’s US-China relations course whilst sitting in Daytripper again. There was a group of Chinese students with books open learning Thai yet practising speaking Japanese and playing English word games. Hearing them talking reminded me of my travels in China.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Despite me sitting in the same building as where my car was being serviced, instead of talking to me the service people called Amy in Australia two times to say this thing needed fixing and that thing needed fixing. Amy would then call me asking why they weren’t talking to me to which my only reply could be ‘I don’t know!’ She was getting annoyed but there was nothing either of us could do. At least they didn’t do it again after she told them to just talk with me cos I was there!

Even with our differing languages, we could still have worked things out but they seemed reluctant to even try. No one told me anything about the work they actually did so I just paid the bill and said thank you, then left. No big deal.

Something I learned today?

Sydney is building another harbour tunnel that was originally planned to be completed by 2026 but the method of construction was changed after the project had already started. It will now complete in 2028 instead but it will supposedly be cheaper. It will be tolled too and ultimately lead to there just being more cars in the city. One day I will go back and marvel at all the changes there.

What do I need right now?

I need to pick up something to eat for dinner tonight. If I decide on something before going, the store will invariably be closed so I’ll just have to go and look around.

I took this picture because what’s not to like about sitting in a cafe overlooking newly planted rice fields during golden hour?

百年羞耻 – 8th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The body was weak with a cancer at the heart
Viruses found a way in to rip it all apart
Poison took hold and began to stake a claim
So began the one hundred years of shame

Infection spread to disable all the limbs
Antibodies form and internal war begins
Now a puppet left to play in a rotten game
Raped and tortured by a hundred years of shame

Slowly, slowly the body returns to balance
Both yin and yang improve upon their talents
Heads held higher to rise above the strain
The beginning of the end of a hundred years of shame

Now the muscles flex, the body’s lesson learned
At unity with the brain, power has returned
No matter the want, things are not the same
Since the end of a hundred years of shame

Today I’m feeling:

Content and energised. A long walk in the jungle and a dip in the freezing water under the waterfall really got my blood flowing.

Today I’m grateful for:

Aing and Now paying for my lunch which we had at the restaurant in the stream. All the food was delicious. Spicy seafood salad, Tom Yum soup, veggie fried rice, deep-fried fish and squid.

The best thing about today was:

Getting under the waterfall and having the air sucked out of my lungs. It was freezing and invigorating and I felt cosy once I got my shorts and t-shirt on again. I should sleep well tonight.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Last night I found Kim had a scratch on her head and was limping again, presumably from fighting, so I decided to keep her in again. I really want her to enjoy the freedom to be outside but she just can’t stay out of trouble. I’ll start putting her back in her room at night again from tomorrow.

Right now she’s in our walk-in where she’s content to recover as best she can. She still seems happy enough and is eating fine. Hopefully, she gets better soon.

Something I learned today?

There was an earthquake in Turkey and Syria a couple of days ago and China has already got people on the ground there helping. In comparison, the USA has sanctions in place for Syria which hampers Western allies’ possible efforts to help.

Syria is already crippled by civil war and US military involvement as well, removing their oil to be kept in a safe place ie. the USA!

I’m coming to respect China more and more every day. I just hope they can avoid getting dragged down by the bullying tactics of the West.

What is a word you feel that too many people use?

Taking this question literally, the word is probably ‘Mine.’

I took this picture because this was the destination for today. Khun Korn waterfall. Aing and Now said they wanted to come here as they never did during the time they were studying in Chiang Rai. They’d been busy until today so today it had to be. Just by chance, at school this morning, I met Kru Mai and Kru Karn waiting to be picked up and I guessed they were going camping with scouts. I asked them where the campsite was and it was also at Khun Korn! So I made sure to go and surprise my old students whilst visiting. They all told me that they weren’t having fun but it looked like they were really!

Better Days – 26th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We didn’t ask to be born into this world
Those felt like better days before
If you don’t get fucked from the right
You’ll be fucked from the left for sure

And just who is going to protect us?
A guardian angel, out of the blue?
A fall guy descends into hell
So that you can live your life true?

It can never be as clear as that
Time and guilt will take their toll
Will justice find better days again
To find a freedom for us all?

inspired by the Chinese movie Better Days

Today I’m feeling:

Sick, tired but reasonably positive

Today I’m grateful for:

The nurses who did their best at the hospital. It was hectic and there was a feeling of frustration in the air. I didn’t feel too bad but the sign said to ask them again if waiting longer than 30 minutes so I did. It was obvious they were busy and I was ok with that but once I’d mentioned it to them it felt like they rushed me through.

The best thing about today was:

I went to school this morning and saw everyone preparing for the sports day parade, lots of kids all dressed up and unrecognisable, happy and jovial. I felt sorry to myself that I didn’t feel better and able to stay and cheer on all the different teams.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I was at the hospital for two and a half hours in total. I went to just get checked out about my sore rib. It took half the time to get to see a doctor who didn’t think I had a fracture as they guessed I would be in more pain. The consultation took about 5 minutes. The rest of the time spent waiting to pick up medicine. For everyone’s time and effort, it was only 275 baht. Consultation and four lots of pills. Nice.

Something I learned today?

More about articles 35 and 36 in the Chinese constitution and how they guarantee more rights than the American constitution. The war of propaganda the US wages sure is strong. I’m coming to respect China more and more over time.

How can I show more gratitude this year?

I often am grateful for people in and around my life so I guess I should think about ways of actually showing them my gratitude beyond a simple thanks. I should keep some small gifts with me at all times or something like that.

I took this picture because Amy’s cacti are coming along well. We’ve lost a few on the way but many are going great guns. This picture is from about ten days ago as I’ve not felt well today and remembered to take any pictures.

Too Long Jack – 16th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 17 Comments

Those words came to me each night
But I could find no pen to write
Wondering what it is you do
Since those times we once knew

Racing hearts and chasing dreams
Of racing carts and laser beams
The world was ours for the taking
Or to be born of our making

Pages wait for this ink’s touch
What to say, there’s just too much
I hope you recall all we did
Loving the slippery slopes we slid

19th Jun 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – Perspective
28th May 2025- Shared with dVerse – regret. I often write about this specific event in my life, though my feelings are complicated. It felt to me inevitable, so I wouldn’t describe it so much as regret. I thought I’d try to write more specifically for this prompt, but I don’t have the inspiration for the short timeline. This poem is more of a look back and nostalgic and so is filled with some hope.

Today I’m feeling:

Happy but a little agitated. I feel like I should have achieved more than I have.

Today I’m grateful for:

Mum’s soup in the freezer. She made this batch ages ago but I haven’t had to eat for all the time Amy was here. With a bit of salt and pepper along with some Oasis dried gluten, I felt like a master chef. Thank you microwave.

The best thing about today was:

Tangmo brought his friend to play in our garden whilst I was watering and they ran and rolled and tumbled with each other in doggy joy. The new dog is nervous but I was almost able to pet him this time. I didn’t push it though.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Today was Teachers’ Day at school where monks come and do some chanting and speeches are given, awards presented etc. The event ran on Thai time and I was hoping to get out by 10 but things were still bumbling along at 11. I was entertaining myself by talking with David and Gus for a while, reading articles and playing poker on my phone.

I did get away and home by midday though.

Something I learned today?

I listened to a reasonable discussion between two Americans living in China discussing current affairs and got to hear a slightly different perspective on events there. I tend to ignore Western media commentary on China but I am aware that I do focus on the opposite and enjoy hearing positive things about China.

This discussion (Sinicism podcast) made me consider things differently and I’ll check out more.

Write about a few of your favourite family traditions?

As a son, we didn’t have any traditions in particular. I guess when we lived with my grandparents we always had Sunday lunch together and I can recall at Christmas, the relatives would come for lunch.

As a father, I’ve not really continued or fostered any tradition at all. Bronwyn is from a large family and any traditions would be held on that side of Hayden’s family. There used to be big family get-togethers that I would sometimes attend even when I was divorced, also taking Kyoko with me. I don’t think Amy ever went though and it’s possible I stopped going by then too.

I took this picture because it was unusual to see Tigger sitting in the middle of the lawn. It’s like he was savouring the sunrise and sucking up the goodness of the sun’s rays. Kim meanwhile had already buried herself under the bedsheets for her 8-10 hour daily nap.

Dead Frog – 13th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Quiet as a mouse
Softer than a lamb
Tighter than a clam
Dead as a….
(Lizard tail)
Roses are red
My blood turned blue
Shadow in tarmac
Ah! Fuck you!
Frog, dead frog
Dead frog
Dead

To the tune of Nomeansno’s Dead Bob and inspired by the titular dead frogs that litter our road, squashed to shadows of themselves.

Today I’m feeling:

Enthusiastic though a little tired. Skipped morning exercise for 20 minutes of extra dreaming this morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

Yukari in Japan for sending me CDs last year and when they didn’t arrive she sent new ones. The original package arrived today!

The best thing about today was:

Sitting in my classroom before the kids arrived but sat in a different corner for a different perspective and supping a surprisingly delicious coffee. Savouring every second before the whirlwind commences.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As usual, my lazy classes turning up late with excuses and nonsense. I did what I could with what I had and lowered my expectations. The kids who were there stayed after class and we ended up having a better time than usual.

Something I learned today?

Guangdong province in China has turned around serious pollution problems from 20 years ago and is now winning awards for the transformation of its natural resources. Some of the videos look stunning. I’d love to go to China again sometime.

What would you do if you lost all your possessions?

I’d look forward to the gathering of many of them again. I love the search more than the ownership. I should do an online business to satisfy myself. Then I don’t need to keep the things I possess but just keep buying and selling.

I took this picture because I reminded myself that I need to take pictures (of something beautiful preferably) so when I was on my way back to school I took this picture. This reservoir is opposite the school grounds and it is an obvious attraction for students to feel thrilled and illicit.

She’s An Egg – 31st December 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

She’s an egg, putting on a face
A tough nut, that’s a fact
She needs some love and kindness
Or she’s bound to end up cracked

She’s an egg amongst many others
One mistake may lead to ruin
When the shell starts to break open
She may be her own undoing

She’s an egg, hidden away inside
Soft and so easy to rot
Let some air in to breathe
Before she gets herself forgot

A nation of lazy contemplative men would be incapable of fighting a war unless their very laziness were attacked. Wars are the activities of busy-ness.

John Steinbeck

Today I’m feeling:
Gurgling guts, sore tummy and tired from lack of sleep, though it’s not getting me down. Just write off the day catching up with videos I’ve wanted to watch.
Today I’m grateful for:
The carbon pills and electrolyte powder to help settle my stomach. These are a standard in every Thai household first aid kit. Bad guts and diarrhoea are pretty common here.
The best thing about today was:
Buying new socks. Some days it’s the simple things.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My ass was out of control today and I handled it by being lazy and lethargic and being close to the toilet in case of an emergency. Shit happens.
Something I learned today?
Thailand imports trash especially since China banned importation in 2017 but since it has such difficulty dealing with it will slowly phase out bringing in more by 2025. That’s the plan but I can foresee things getting in the way of that target.
What’s your New Year’s Resolution or goal?
I haven’t done new year’s resolutions for many years, discovering how difficult they are to maintain. Why choose this date? If you’ve failed with them by the end of January maybe you feel bad for the rest of the year or just wait til the next new year to start again. I’ve had more success with just starting things at times that felt right or were appropriate. I also never beat myself up if these things get derailed and just do my best to get back on track.

I took this picture because this is some awesome Lardna at a restaurant Amy took me to for lunch. I have a dodgy stomach today so couldn’t coat it with all the condiments I would’ve liked but it still tasted great. I don’t usually take food pictures and this is a relatively normal picture but it was either this or another cat photo!

I asked AI to take the Lardna image and make it into a manga image – hence the featured (yet unrelated otherwise!) manga picture.