Tag: fruit

Disorder Based Rules – 11th May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A roll of the dice
With a careful nudge
Generals in sync
Will refuse to budge
The game of Risk
Is a risky game
Must be ensured
It’s played the same
Rules are manufactured
Out of thin air
Top of the pecking order
Keeps the lion’s share
Disorder is maintained
To keep challenges at bay
If you want to win the game
It must be played this way

Today I’m feeling:

Cautious. A little dizzy. Not unhappy or negative but not quite right. At only 11 am, I’m feeling tired and sleepy already.

Today I’m grateful for:

A new deodoriser I found at HomePro that seems to work quite well. There’s a bad cat pee smell on the sofa though I can’t find exactly where so I’m going through spraying the deodoriser on the sofa bit by bit.

The best thing about today was:

Being able to look out of my window and see the mountains clearly again across the rice fields. It makes me feel more connected to the world.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Despite trying to fight it I napped/lucid-dreamed through listening to a Black Midi CD. Thankfully it wasn’t long enough to stop me from getting into bed before 9 pm. I think my general lack of motivation and enthusiasm is going around in ever-decreasing circles with my tiredness.

Something I learned today?

I found out that Earn at House will leave on Saturday to go and study at a university in Bangkok. Her English is pretty good and though she’s not shy, she’s also not chatty. A little like myself I think.

What are some words that best describe my personality?

Today:
Quiet
Thoughtful
Lethargic
Unimpressed
Nature loving
Lazy
Depressive
Happy

Yes, I can suffer symptoms of depression and be happy at the same time. And I also feel that though I’m a little unimpressed and uninspired at the moment I’m also a little optimistic along with it.

I took this picture because this year we may end up with enough lychees to eat, rather than the insects or birds getting them all.

No Bricks, No Mortar – 13th April 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Keeping up with the Joneses and Smiths
Established in a canyon of glamour
Here are built the legends and myths
The counters to the sickle and hammer
There’s no volunteer to be the clown
As it’s just the beginning, just a starter
Their crushed dreams are raining down
Like confetti from a busted pinata

*Last two lines are a paraphrase from a sentence that stood out in Brix Smith Start’s biography and the inspiration for the rest

Today I’m feeling:

Better each day. I’m getting there. Today though Amy asked me to call her when I got up and when I did she told me her grandmum was rushed to the hospital after passing blood. In her 90s she still has a good brain but a failing body. 

Today I’m grateful for:

My phone’s alarm clock and my smart idea to set 3 alarms 15 minutes apart to help get me out of bed a little earlier. I’d like to get back into the rhythm of getting up early and sleeping earlier again.

The best thing about today was:

Talking for an hour with Hayden on the phone. As he gets older and has more life experience we can talk about many issues and subjects these days and I enjoy our conversations.

Also messaging with Echo in LA and catching up with her again which I try and do every 12 to 18 months.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy asked me to go to the hospital and visit her grandma in the evening after she’d been moved to a private room. The only problem is that today is the first day of the Songkran celebration and the traffic in the city was crazy. Whilst on the way there Amy called and told me to go home. It had taken her brother two hours to make the usual ten-minute drive from home to the hospital! As I’d been stuck in traffic for 20 minutes already I thought going home was a good idea too.  I enjoyed driving anyway as it gave me a chance to listen to more podcasts.

Something I learned today?

I learned that Echo is a ceramic artist and recently held an exhibition in LA, examples of which I could see in her WeChat Moments. I never knew that she was doing this and still not clear if she can live off her art but I’m quite amazed at her ability and pursuit of this.

What things are in my control today?

Some of my thoughts. Some of my actions.


I took this picture because I’ve never seen these fruit (or nuts – I’m not sure which) turn red before. This is on one of our palm trees. A quick search tells me they are foxtail palms (and they are fruit!)

Own It – 10th April 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It doesn’t matter what you do or be
Someone will tell you that it’s wrong
We’re just singing in a different key
Or even singing a different song
Expect judgement in advance
And carry on with a smile
Relish your unique stance
Revel in your personal style

Today I’m feeling:

Ok but still as if something has gone missing. It’s getting less concrete now and the other realities of life are breaking in.

Today I’m grateful for:

The expectedly surly staff at Immigration who gave me the forms I asked for. He was wearing a bright Songkran shirt and happily passed over the forms and I thought that he’s not really surly, he’s just being a little Thai and he’s at work dealing with all our farang shit all day. I wai’d my thanks and left.

The best thing about today was:

Picking up some mangoes and pomelo at the market near Oasis. The lady was helpful and I will enjoy eating them today and tomorrow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I tried some magic mushroom gummies last night and they had no real discernible effect.

After my alarm went off this morning I dozed a while longer and vividly dreamt that where Amy and I were living ( it wasn’t here), in the garden a huge hole had formed as if dirt had been carried away by ants. I noticed our cactuses were even growing underground where they were now exposed by the hole.

I went back inside to get my phone. Amy wasn’t home so I wanted to take pictures to send to her but my phone kept messing up like there was some electrical or magnetic interference.

I walked out of the garden and the roads had flooded from rain I thought I had heard during the night. People were trudging through the water to their houses nearby. I noted the surroundings looked like it was in the New Forest somewhere.

Again my phone kept messing up so I turned it off and hoped to sort it out back inside. As I walked back there were people standing around but I suddenly noticed things were dry. Then I realised that it was the magic mushrooms and I had hallucinated the hole in the garden and the flooding. I woke up then.

An earlier dream involved me trying not to wake the devil even though I had to open the door. He was sleeping in a normal bed in a normal bedroom. To open the door I had to tell him the truth about who he was. I didn’t think this would be too bad as he already knew what he was but he didn’t know that I knew. I just wanted to get out so I was stuck in this paradox.

I remember waking him and feeling scared but not sure what happened after that.

All these bits and pieces make sense to me considering the TV show I have been watching, a German show called Dark. The story is good and imaginative and has at least kept my brain occupied.

Something I learned today?

I went to see about getting my driving licence updated and I learned about the documents I will need and that I should either get there early or be prepared for a long wait.

How do I want to feel right now?

Alive, awake, enthusiastic, and full of joy.


I took this picture because Cap is feeling the heat. It’s unusual for him to lay like this on the floor. Usually, he’s on the bed or sofa when he rolls onto his back. 

You Won’t Believe Number Four – 16th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Here’s a list of things you must see
There’s something here to set you free
And you won’t believe number one
Something no one else has ever done

If that really doesn’t tickle your fancy
Number two will surely make you antsy
And number three has so much more
But you’ll never believe number four

Scroll on through to five and six
You’ll start to see these amazing tricks
Manipulations to make you laugh and lol
To make sure the way on the infinite scroll

One can only live while one is intoxicated with life; as soon as one is sober it is impossible not to see that it is all a mere fraud and a stupid fraud! That is precisely what it is…it is simply cruel and stupid.

Leo Tolstoy, A Confession

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and contemplative.

Today I’m grateful for:

The gardeners. Whenever they come they will appear here. They do all the hard work that I’m lazy to do and they can have it done quickly. I wonder if I would ever be in a position to hire a full-time gardener or maid or similar, would I actually do it? It seems like a weird thing to do though there are actually people who would appreciate the opportunity. One of Amy’s mum’s friends has two ‘workers’ though she does own and run a substantial property with guest houses. It just seems strange that you would be the boss of your house and get your staff to do the actual work. Cooking cleaning or gardening etc…

The best thing about today was:

Picking up the guitar after a three-day break, almost stopping after only seven minutes, carrying on and then realizing an hour had gone by.

Write about your work/life balance.

My work/life balance feels perfect at the moment. I’m loving being on holiday right now but I also love being in the middle of another semester. I love my time at school and away from it. I rush to get to school and I rush to get home. It’s great.

I took this picture because these ‘fruit’ from our palm trees caught my eye this morning as I opened the gate after walking back from Utopia. They remind me of music and dancing somehow. In this mono edit, they still pop. A few hours after this the grass was cut and the garden tidy again.
Fatman report

Favourite Trick – 19th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I forgot my brain
Left it on the train
Picked up legs
And off it ran
Driving me insane
I lost my head
Getting out of bed
Overthinking, thinking thunk
Overdrinking, dranken drunk
Nonsense that I said
Myself found lost
Paying the cost
Apple core
With nothing more
Than being tossed
I cut off my dick
When I was being sick
Flushed it down the bowl
I’ll never tell a soul
It was my favourite trick

…an ocean of salt tears could not melt the resolution of the statues.

Danforth, The Crucible

Today I’m grateful for:
Ploughing on and finishing reading Gormenghast. Excellent. Just one more in the trilogy to go and I can send them back to Sharon. Slaughterhouse 5 first though.
The best thing about today was:
Champ buying me a coffee at House, where I took him because he wanted to get out of school for a break. He seemed really happy with my teaching, or at least with my bloody-mindedness to try and get these kids disciplined to enjoy studying. It was certainly nice to get positive feedback.

I took this picture because I’d never seen this fruit before. It was growing alongside a mulberry tree at House. Apparently, it’s not edible, which is surprising because it’s an attractive colour.

Me And You, Talking – 14th March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It was something that you said
I took it to my heart
You don’t remember it
Insignificant on your part

Those words always guided me
As you moved further away
I repeated those words often
It became a thing that I would say

Now I no longer speak it
Just as you have too
The language is forgotten
That made me me and made you you

14th Mar 2022 – I’m not quite certain what, or more likely who, inspired this poem. I had a couple of candidates until I got to the last stanza. I like the wordplay in the last line but don’t think I wrote the poem just to use it!
As for the quote below, I can imagine using this in reference to many people I have met or know but every time I do that with words of wisdom I remind myself that I should be applying this to myself.

It is impossible for a person to begin to learn what he thinks he already knows.

Epictetus

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for all the delicious smelling flowers and tasty fruit and veg in our garden.

The New Pleasure – 11th March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s a devil on one shoulder
And an angel on the other
Whispering in opposites
Whether I should even bother
One looks upon this as virtue
The other as if it’s sin
I’ve got to brush them away
If I’m ever to begin

To assume you are below average is to admit you’re still learning. You focus on what you need to improve, not your past accomplishments.

Derek Sivers

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for our overabundance of mulberries. I picked a whole bowl yesterday and they’ve only just started (fruiting).

Walk Like a Malaysian – 24th July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Push through the air thicker than glue
Where is it we are going to?
Let’s get Teh Tarik (to-day oh)
Can you park right outside the show?
One thousand degrees in the hall
Now time to eat, let’s make a call
Pile on to the bikes (o-kay oh)
Get ABC from your favourite stall
Sweaty brow, to slow things now, so
Walk like a Malaysian
Not so quick to take a trick, just
Walk like a Malaysian

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for our passionfruit plant that is now growing fist-size fruit. Maybe a couple more weeks and they will be edible. Can’t wait.

2000AD Again – 20th July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The dogs will always get you
If not stabbing each other’s backs
Franks is in the Krool Heart
Where Kano suffers attacks
Alphabet warriors of steel
Drive through black holes of Khaos
And back in the big bad city
Dredd remains the toughest boss
There’s future shocks in store
Splashed across every page
As the rogue trooper attempts
To quell his partners’ rage
A breeding ground of stories
Fantastic fiction and fun
Two thousand AD forever
Even after two thousand and one

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for our lime trees – finally fruiting with delicious fruit that we can use for cooking and drinks.

Welcome To My Country – 6th July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Keep the peasants quiet
With a useless education
Prayers and superstitions
The country’s core foundation
Bow to those above
And blame it all on karma
No king are you in this life
Just a subsistence farmer
Kept busy with daily gossip
And acceptance of one’s fate
While the elites siphon off
All the wealth you help create
Palaces grow wings of gold
Temples build new towers
There’s fifteen years in prison
If you dare to challenge their powers

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for uncle next door to let us grab his rambutans that hang over the fence into our garden. I will take them to school and share them with the other teachers.