Tag: health

With Open Arms – 6th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The immigrant children complain of immigration
They think they own the land
Never taught their history, or easily forgotten
They offer no helping hand

The suburbs are full of lawnmowers and cars
This happy life must not be disturbed
New arrivals collect glasses in the downtown bars
Where lines of demarcation become blurred

A drink to our new friends here to find a way
To live a long-forgotten dream once told
To all who struggled in an effort to stay
To seek the world their movies sold

20th Nov 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – downtown

Today I’m feeling:

I had to talk myself into exercising this morning but I pushed through with my mini ab workout. I’m glad I did because it got me awake and settled into a reasonable mood. I know I’m tired but also not craving rest. My left eye is aching still and whilst meditating this morning wondered if I’d had a stroke. I looked in the mirror and there were no obvious changes to my face. I should perhaps go to the local optometrist and get them to have a closer look inside.

Today I’m grateful for:

Our crazy school schedule that means I only have one class tomorrow afternoon at 2.30 so I’ve made the decision to sleep in and not sign in tomorrow and head to school around 1.30. Great!

The best thing about today was:

Watching some reluctant students stand up and speak in English and overcome some of their fears and hesitations. I made sure to commend them after class to lift their confidence further.

Before my last class of the day, I was playing volleyball and saw some of my students heading to class that included the three ‘bad’ boys, including the porn kid from yesterday. I roped them in to come and play and we bonded a little further. Enough so that we had a comfortable lesson without incident. I was happy with that result.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Things are humming along smoothly as of now.

Something I learned today?

Some folks in the West are railing against the Taliban because they have once again made opium production illegal and reduced it by 80% just as they did before the US invaded twenty years ago, when they made it legal again. Somehow drug production is okay in other countries but not in their own. The West is doomsaying all the negative outcomes that will arise from a country’s government implementing their own law. Hmmm… Hypocritical much?

How am I different than I was a year ago?

Differences year to year feel more slight than in my youth. If there’s anything that I can really feel it’s just a general improvement in well-being and contentment. My health has also improved though I can also feel my age as more time passes.

I took this picture because this simple little plant is growing in the parking space at the back of House and as I was walking by the sunlight was hitting at an angle that made the leaf shapes jump out at me.

The Whys Men – 28th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Kojaked caveman meditating
Declares life is a fountain
No ears received this pronunciation
At the hole in the mountain

Yulled madmen levitating
In boxes across the skies
Searching for any piece of wisdom
To answer the many whys

For fifty years the mystic
Held his arm above his head
Heard the echo from the cave
And suddenly fell down dead

The market stopped a breath
Then continued walking about
The circle of life and death
Is all it’s ever been talking about

Today I’m feeling:

Sick, headache, tired from lack of sleep because my eyes were sore and kept waking me up.

Today I’m grateful for:

The fact that I can take a day off work, go to the hospital, afford medicine and sit inside with the air purifier. I know these are getting repetitive but when I see labourers working outdoors in this pollution I must feel very grateful.

The best thing about today was:

Getting prescribed pseudoephedrine at the hospital for my nose being blocked and irritated and then lorazepam to help me sleep. My body is a medicine cabinet! The pseudoephedrine has put me off eating though. Not sure if I will go back to work tomorrow yet.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I felt like lots of things were out of my control today but just let it go. My health, the air, waiting at the hospital, the medicines provided and then the effects of taking the medicines.

Amy was critical of me wanting to stay here but what can I do right now? I’m here and our cats are here. Yes, this situation sucks and we could change it if we wanted but that would involve us buying a place to live in South Thailand.

Hopefully, this pollution problem goes soon, it’s already better today but I hope it gets fixed properly for the future.

The last couple of years have been really good here. Wherever we go has its good and bad points.

Something I learned today?

Watching Tim Newton talking about Thai news today was interesting as it featured the pollution problem here in the north. Apparently, there were protests at the district office in CR yesterday and there are more people speaking out now about the issue. I’m still doubtful anything will get done quickly or anything substantial but who knows.

What changes am I experiencing right now?

The change from teaching to holiday is fucking me up. I’m getting lazy though other things factor into that too, such as the weather and pollution. I have to find some things to do during this time to keep my brain occupied and body moving.

I took this picture because after finishing at the hospital I went to Utopia for coffee and was presented with this!

Anchorite – 26th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I have a window to the world
If you wish to bother me
Ask me for a prayer
And I’ll give it to you for free
Otherwise, I’ll be here by myself
Just my thoughts and me
Freedom is in my mind
I consider myself to be free

Today I’m feeling:

Tired with headaches and irritated sinuses and eyes, sometimes short of breath.

Today I’m grateful for:

Having gone shopping a couple of days ago and having food to cook in the fridge. I’d thought about getting food outside but really didn’t want to go out again.

The best thing about today was:

When I got home from morning coffee I put on Blondie’s Plastic Letters and blasted it loud as I hung out washing, cleaned up all the cat spray around and then vacuumed everywhere. It’s a great album, my favourite era Blondie.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

With low visibility due to the smoke, I couldn’t help thinking poorly about the situation. I understand I have no control over it but it seems unfair to be subjected to it.

However, I talked myself around by thinking about all the positives of being here, particularly after Amy sent me a picture from a restaurant of her small plate of pasta which looked like something I made (ie. not aesthetically pleasing) and cost her 27 dollars! Unbelievable!

Whilst looking at AQI data I saw that Chiang Mai was the number 1 worst place in the world at over 300 and Sydney was about 98th worst with just 4! I’d pay 27 dollars for clear sky right now.

Something I learned today?

After deleting my poker app because it was just taking up too much time I still watch some videos of games and came across a cheating scandal yesterday and I’ve been hooked on the story since watching lots of videos of interviews and opinions. The poker world is a bit of a crazy place.

What is something that I have been putting off and why?

Yesterday I put off updating this journal because I was engrossed in watching a TV show and when I sat down to write it was past midnight and the question prompt had already, appropriately, changed to this one.

Yesterday’s prompt was ‘What experience do I need to write about’ and my answer, as detailed in this blog, is all of them.

Am I reliving my life because I am no longer living? I like to set myself ridiculous challenges so here I am.

Art took this picture because about once a month I’m his promotion model.

One Thing – 5th December 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s all you have, there’s nothing else
All you held are old dusty dreams
It’s the time you are alive, this one thing
The only possession that is what it seems

Every moment wasted on the dramas of others subtracts from your strength.

Robert Greene

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and carefree despite still having to organise things for my students for tomorrow’s classes.
Today I’m grateful for:
The rental car company and for being able to drive around Phuket at leisure and without worry.
The best thing about today was:
Today has been steadily great. Right now we’re in the Hilton restaurant at the beach with free-flow alcohol. Good for Amy! This morning we had delicious brunch at another beach, along with Aing, after dropping Fern and Harper at the airport. Everything went super smoothly timing-wise and Amy and I drove back by the scenic beaches route with a quick circuit of Patong just as a reminder of being there 10 years ago. The lovely hotel we stayed at that time has been abandoned since, probably due to the pandemic, but there were lots of new ones and many foreign tourists around as expected. After dropping Amy back at Pim’s I went off book shopping and picked up one book I was looking for and another three by Studs Turkel, who I’ve never heard of, but was fascinated by the name and an approval from Kurt Vonnegot on the back cover of one. Awesome, even with the heavy rain.
Something I learned today?
According to surveys, Chiang Rai is the drunkest province in Thailand. Not sure how this was measured and it must be pretty serious as everywhere in Thailand loves a drink.
What are some of the challenges you face?
My biggest challenges at the moment probably revolve around health. I need to lose a little weight again and build up some stamina but seem to be suffering a little from what may be long covid. I get breathless and exhausted easily. I have aching hips and a painful neck, weak arms with painful elbows. I should focus a little bit of extra effort on maintenance in the next few months.

I took this picture because it was good timing for us to be dropping Fern to the airport near where Aing lives and Aing has a day off today so we could treat her to lunch. The food was great and the beach was good too.

Tan Your Testicles – 14th May 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

The white man is a dying breed
Losing out on culture and status
Big balls are what we need
It’s the testosterone that makes us
Show your balls to sun and sky
It’s sure to be the latest fad
Anal bleaching, widening the eye
It’s the best time to be had
The sperm count is getting lower
Perhaps from rubbing too many out
No matter a shower or grower
Your manliness is in doubt
We’ll shoot up all the clinics
Start to remove a woman’s right
Protect each other from the cynics
Rape our way out of this plight
Best to arrange another war
To kill exotics far away
Our manhood is what we’re fighting for
And, by God, we’ll make them pay

The person who says he knows what he thinks but cannot express it usually does not know what he thinks.

from How To Read a Book

The Week That Was – 8th July 1979

Eggs Of Evolution – 13th January 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We are mutating faster than ever
Elongated thumbs and extended necks
Are we becoming more stupid or clever
As we homogenise into a single sex?
Reversal has never been possible
The eggs have already been fried
So we must hold ourselves responsible
And measure all the things we’ve tried

Paradoxically or not, great ideas come more easily from people who are not paid to have them.

Iain McGilchrist

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that my body tells me when to slow down and that I am able to rest when I want.

Mail Order Monkey – 1st January 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Your life won’t be complete
For the girl you want to impress
Get your mail order monkey
Put it in a pretty dress
Or how about a monkey skull
Comes from the same supplier
Stick it on your shelf
For your new friends to admire
Mail order monkies and skulls
It’s the weirdest thing I’ve heard
Is there a better way to impress
Without something so absurd?

Weight: 76.0kg
Resting heart rate: 41

There’s only one age: alive.

Agnes Varda

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Apa for driving us up to Doi Chang yesterday and paying for lunch.

A long day yesterday. Amy’s dad drove us, with Oh’s girlfriend, her sister and mum, up to Doi Chang, which I hadn’t visited before. It was nice to have the opportunity to just sit and look out of the window and not have to concentrate on the road. Doi Chang has become well known for its coffee and now is turning itself into a camping lifestyle destination.

To be honest, there’s not much to do up there except enjoy the views but every second person seems to be building a cafe/homestay and it occurs to me that everything now is just a photograph – there’s no substance. Perhaps I’m jaded and don’t see much underneath due to cultural differences.

Anyway, I thought it’s not so far away and I’d like to ride my bike up here sometime. I’ll have to prepare for a sore butt doing that but I think it would be nice.

We had a late lunch at Singha Park. Busy but a pleasant time looking over the park from the restaurant. I try to take as much as I can with my eyes rather than taking photos. I could feel a sense of contentment rising from my stomach to my chest when I tried this.

I was flagging it by late afternoon when we got back to Amy’s parents’ house and dozed before getting up to eat a little bit of dinner, whilst everyone else geared up for drinking and karaoke. By 8.30, I lay down again and had wild, interesting, lucid dreams, punctuated by waking periods overhearing out-of-key singing to Thai tunes.

I knew it was getting late when I heard renditions of the Carpenters, Hotel California and Have You Ever Seen The Rain.

Lots of fireworks and cheering woke me again as the clock went past midnight and I got into a deeper sleep until Amy woke me at 1.30 and said it’s time to go home. She had a great time and I enjoyed everything too. I’m not big on drinking, partying and socialising and Amy understands that. We fell asleep content.

I managed to get up at 7 and, after feeding the cat,s wanted to use my aching body as I had spent most of the previous 24 hours sitting or lying down, so I walked to Utopia in the cool morning air, chatting on the phone with Hayden along the way. He may try to come to Thailand in April. Let’s see if that happens.

Lots of things I hope to catch up with today. My new MacBook Air arrived yesterday and I need to get that set up too.

A Madness Of The Impossible – 1st December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The very essence of my soul betrayed
No knowledge may heal the wound I made
In this fog, there is nowhere to be or go
I just can’t forgive myself I’m afraid

Misery and self-loathing bedevil my days
A madness of the impossible Derrida says
The radical act of self-forgiveness so
Absolve yourself, you must find the ways

Inspired (and butchered) by a reply to a letter to Nick Cave at The Red Hand Files newsletter
and submitted to Thursday Inspiration #246

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that our cats seem to have recovered. Cap from a bad stomach and Kim from wounds after a big fight with Tigger. Tigger has been very well recently though his fur is starting to make him look old.

I was planning to do some preparation and reading and writing this afternoon but Fui brought his teenage son and daughter to House and I ended up talking with all of them for most of the time! Fui’s kids study in Singapore, and have done for many years. I’m not sure why and didn’t ask, but it’s interesting to get their perspective on things especially as English has become their first language.

My one class this morning was with 2/11 and it went well. I got them more involved by helping me to learn the Thai words for all the English vocabulary that I wanted them to remember. So, I’m feeling good.

A rest day from the abs workout. I can feel that there is less fat on my chest and my ribs are becoming more visible. I like this healthier me. As with anything, I should’ve started sooner. I’m still thinking about that time of brushing off Rupert when he started lifting weights at school. I was all about smoking and drinking. I was lucky that my metabolism sustained my skinny body into my late 30s and only the beer started sticking on my hips.

OK – back to it. More free time tomorrow afternoon to finish off this preparation.

Weight: 76.6kg
Resting heart rate: 47

Shadows – 1st November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 7 Comments

Within this oppressive system
The dividing line, it grows
The wealthy control the time
Whilst we’re living in the shadows

Try to climb this shit ladder
But the dividing line always grows
A blind eye turned towards
Those living in the shadows

How did it get to be
That the dividing line, it grows?
And the ninety-nine percent
Remains living in the shadows

There is no vision of caring
As the dividing line, it grows
The underclass just eats itself
Living in the shadows

The one percent destroyed the world
And the dividing line is gone
No one left to remember the names
Of the ones who claimed they’d won

Inspired by a classic late 80s Peter Milligan story ‘Shadows’ originally printed in 2000AD
29th Mar 2024 – Submitted to OLN 359 at dVerse

First day of the new semester and everything is the usual mess but I’m more used to it now and can accept it. Had a good chat with Champ in the afternoon about his beliefs about the future of Thailand. He isn’t happy with the current system but is optimistic about the elections next year. I don’t think it will be much of a change but I also can’t get a feel for the mood of the country.

I moved back into the teacher’s room and sat next to George again. He is still only politely communicating with me and won’t look me in the eye. What I have noticed more about myself is that the things that I read about stoicism and thinking, I’m always framing it into a comparison with me and George. He is good at many things that I would hope to emulate but I’m always classifying it as insincere when it comes from him. I don’t need to be thinking about how what I’m reading relates to him – I need to be concentrating on how it relates to me.

I do feel that I am behaving more as myself these days as opposed to trying to fit in with everyone there, to keep a good vibe. I don’t know how to describe this properly. The vibe is good as I am. I am polite and enquiring and take part in work discussions. I don’t, or no longer, really take part in what I guess could be called bonding exercises. I don’t really feel a need to bond with people on a superficial level. Playing Uno or Kahoot together is ok every now and then and maybe brings a good feeling at that moment but I feel like there’s no depth to it.

Sure, I may not be good at connecting deeply with people myself but I really detest the time wasted on superficial connections. I don’t want to be friends with everyone or care if people I don’t really like don’t like me either, but I will make the effort to make deeper connections with someone I feel great affinity with.

That’s difficult with this group of people due to language issues but I am interested in Champ’s values and thinking as he also seems to be interested in deeper concerns than having time for another round of Uno.

Have I talked myself around? Perhaps not yet. My thinking is something I’m still working on and something I will always need to work on.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the long sleep and pleasant dreams I had last night whilst it rained so hard.

Weight: 76.6kg
Resting heart rate: 52

This Shirt – 6th October 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This shirt is too tight
Restricting my space
Sleeves too short
And collar around my face

Nice design and style
But not quite the right fit
It’s only 8 am
And I’ve got all day to wear it

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for a great massage yesterday. Combined with my working out recently I can feel my body and thinking changing for the better.

Is it post-massage hangover? Slept well, woke up happy enough but sitting this morning, reading and sipping my usual big cup of cappuccino, I was aching and uncomfortable. I’ve noticed that I really love lying down on my back – it’s about the only position I feel comfortable in. I don’t have to use many of my puny muscles to support myself.

However, I recognise that this is not anyway to thrive and is one of the reasons for soldiering through the Six-pack in 30 days course, which, when you look deeper, is actually Six-pack in 90 days but who is gonna buy into that? I’m pleasantly surprised by my sticking with this regime so far, two weeks or more, and notice a sense of overall well-being, despite the achy bits and let’s hope that strengthening these stomach muscles will be part of the solution to the random pain points throughout my body. Or at least, perhaps, I’ll be able to touch my toes.

24 Jun 2025 – Update to this is that whilst I still have a better feeling of well-being, I don’t have a six pack, my body continues to ache and I still can’t touch my toes.

I finished entering in my 1979 diary to the blog, which has been an interesting exercise in the memory-jerking reminiscence department, but I have to keep remembering so that I can actually write alongside the diary entries at some point.

The more I think about collecting my life history into one place, the more ideas come along or memories of things forgotten are prodded forward for evaluation. When I see all the shit in the world I can’t believe how I lucky I am. I think about this every day now.