Tag: reading

The thousand nights spent on the floating ship, I wish I had another night – 11th October 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

After reading both Stephen Fry’s books on Greek Myths and Heroes I picked up two volumes of The Arabian Nights (or One Thousand and One Nights) and I started reading the first one today.

Whilst I was reading I was conscious of the fact that I often take something in from the story and then almost immediately forget the details. For instance, I started reading a new bedtime book last night and today I can’t even remember what it is. Just being a file on my iPad doesn’t help with trying to remember things either.

So as I was reading this first story, which sets up the premise for the rest of the book, I decided I should write down a summary of the events, without too much detail, to help me remember, but also to understand more deeply.

Summary of the Story Of King Shahryar and His Brother

There were two brothers. One found his wife cheating with another man, so killed her. He was devastated by her betrayal and also remorseful for having killed her. He made himself sick.
The other brother, seeing him sick, took him in but whilst there found his brother’s wife cheating too. He realised that whilst he was suffering, others were also suffering. Telling himself things weren’t so bad he started to feel better.
His brother asked what had brought about this change and he reluctantly told of what he saw. Once the brother also saw this betrayal with his own eyes, he too, killed his wife.
They decided to get away from their betrayals and perhaps seek others who were suffering even more, a way to make themselves feel better.
They came across a monster, who kept his wife locked up. He had let her out and promptly fallen asleep, whereupon she saw the two brothers and insisted they make love to her whilst the monster slept.
They saw that the monster was suffering even more than themselves but the actions of the woman were immoral and vowed never to trust a woman again.
They returned to their lives and after sleeping with a virgin woman, killed her the following day so she would never be able to twist the hearts of men.
Eventually, virgins were becoming scarce and one brother asked his friend where to find more. The friend repeated the story to his two virgin daughters and one insisted she knew a way to put an end to this difficult situation.

These weak men, never challenging themselves as complicit in their wives’ actions, prefer to blame and punish what they dare not understand. Of course, women have suffered in every region and era of history yet it begs belief that if tales such as this become established amongst children they are likely to take that into adulthood and pass it on from generation to generation.

Should tales of old be updated for modern audiences and cultures? Cut the wheat from the chaff? Should they be completely replaced?

Of course, the summary ends on a more positive note as a woman is prepared to put herself in danger to provide a solution. Does it work? I don’t know yet.

I purposely left out the fact that the brothers are kings and tried to make the summary more human. The downside of this is that it is not in most human minds or possibility to kill every woman they sleep with. Being a king (or having that illusion) seems to allow for that possibility!

I used monster instead of jinn or genie as I was trying to understand what difference this makes. I feel that a human can be a monster but not a genie.

As in all good stories, I want to know what happens next.

Seeds Of Regret

*Am I living in the hearth
And home of the now?
For all the present is worth
Before the future I bow

*Last year I had a clear cut
If lunatic, set of ideas
Ventured onwards but
Paralysed by my new fears

*Why doesn’t someone start a fire
Close enough for me to see?
To burn through my fields of desire
*Why doesn’t someone kick me?

*Easy going as I farm
Sowing the seeds of regret
There’s no cause for alarm
As it hasn’t happened yet

*All swiped from Glenn Dakin’s ‘Abe – Wrong for the Right Reasons’

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for this fan today. It feels super humid this morning though the air temperature is ok. This fan is doing the job it was designed for.

Tangmo has not been himself recently. He doesn’t come to visit so often and instead of running in and jumping around, he wanders in and sits down. He doesn’t even get excited when he sees Kim Chi. Yesterday evening, Amy and I walked him back to his home and we found out that our neighbours were aware he was sick but hadn’t taken him to a vet and were giving him human medicine, though medicine for what, we have no idea.

Mo looks so sad and sick, it is hard not to be sympathetic and give him hugs. We try to remember that he’s not our dog and we are not responsible for him but it’s hard not to have heartstrings tugged by his sad face.

The weekend was fine with me just puttering around doing all the little things I enjoy. Lots of guitar practice yesterday.

Foundations – 8th October 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s a plan that’s been put in place
Decided years ago, real and known
Paths set to further the human race
Historical analysis shows how we’ve grown

Allowances were made for deviations
When the train almost left the tracks
The firm bedrock for our foundations
Ensured the plan always had our backs

All the charlatans and fly-by-nights
Have long since been forgotten
War of words no longer become fights
And we stopped ourselves becoming rotten

Instead of an instant profit turned
Future generations were the consideration
Making sure that all history was learned
We came together to celebrate this creation

I see parallels between Asimov’s Foundation stories and the differences in the way the US and China plan their futures. It feels like the US system is constantly hamstrung by its election cycles and lack of consistent vision whereas China has its five-year plans and I think extending even further into the future.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to watch interesting YouTube videos all day at work, as well as reading so much. And go for coffee. I am grateful that the Thai teachers don’t hassle me with extra work.

The never-evolving discussion around reading is taking place again. Some of our classes only had 50% attendance rates, some even close to 0% attendance, yet we somehow have to give 60% of the class grade 3 or above (grade 4 being the highest). As ever, what a nonsense. Well, I just continue to do the best for my students where I can.

My abs workout has suddenly gotten more difficult, really pushing my ability to even hold my legs in the air to complete some sets. Keep going, keep going.

Finished reading Foundation last night, and Al Franken’s The Truth With Jokes. Interesting parallel reads and both great books.

Writer’s Trick – 25th September 2021

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Far across galaxies, I was taken
Flying towards the story’s end
A misdirection, a writer’s trick
On which the reader may depend

A cliffhanger chapter break
The reader left wanting more
Another leaf is turned
In this new world to explore

Better than a Netflix series
Read a book and chill instead
I wonder who will survive
And who will end up dead?

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for Amy’s friends who all ordered cinnamon buns from her when she posted online about them. She’s going to be busy.

Woke up this morning to Amy screaming ‘help’ and my name. I thought perhaps one of the cats had brought in a snake but it was just Cap and Tigger fighting each other again, clumps of fur scattered all about the kitchen and dining room. I don’t know why they have never gotten along. They tolerate each other but barely.

It wasn’t even 7 am but I got up and forced myself to do my mini workout for which I feel good for, right now. Must remind myself about this feeling each morning.

Take My Word – 20th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Do I have time to read every written word?
Don’t look at me as if it’s so absurd
Absorbed in stories that taught me much
Each one holding a teacher’s touch

The words to learn from times to burn
Find the right words for your concern
If it hits you hard then read it twice
Take my word, that’s my advice

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I can read books wherever I go. One for Utopia, one for school/House, one for evenings, one for bedtime.

Well, the weekend passed by quickly, with going to Amy’s aunties’ memorial on Friday and Saturday night and then her cremation on Sunday morning. I was happy to have a phone with me and felt less conscious of using it on these occasions, as I’ve gotten used to Thais doing it. Even one of the monks took a call whilst his leader was chanting.

At times when I looked up and around, I still could not feel what comforts these odd rituals provide. They seem a nonsense and can be adapted in any way anyone should please. If we got rid of all religions, would we just make new rituals to comfort ourselves? Perhaps not. It’s not so obvious in those who have no faith. They (we) accept the fact that we live and die and not much else.

Recently, I’ve been reading much about the USA’s foreign policy and interference in other countries, and it reinforces the fact for me that all of it is beyond meaningless. People left to themselves are generally ok and without any implanted biases, get on with everyone.

I’m thinking that China’s approach to world affairs is a more powerful way to share the world. From an outside perspective, it looks to me as if they are aware that helping people to help themselves benefits everyone in the long run. Trying to force your way of life on other people has continually shown in history to not be successful. Every country, group, philosophy, and government will have its share of bad apples, and the current media obsession with focusing on them forces a bias that is not conducive to love.

Religions have also failed at a mass level, of teaching to love everyone, even though it is a major tenet of them all.

Whilst these situations remain, frustrated people, like me, want to give up, see no hope. Even in our own happy lives. We can’t ignore the suffering of others. These people are humans, and we play this game of life together.

The Fallen City – 27th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This forbidden love wasn’t designed to last
We both realise that now it’s gone
The savage betrayals, a reflection
As the threads of hope all come undone

It’s a timeless story, always repeated
Because passions cannot be denied
Dreams of forever just fall apart
Ever quicker the more it’s tried

The victims suffer the recognition
As their cities of dreams are burned
Eyes open to once blinding mistakes
A war from which much was learned

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to my mother who somehow managed to instil in me an interest in reading, which I fought against for many years – not on purpose but just interested in other things instead.

Starting writing in a fresh new book is a nice feeling. As was finishing up on the last page of the previous book.

Life feels somewhat in a holding pattern at the moment. Maybe time to get myself into doing something different in my spare time, which really just means adding more things to do and having less and less spare time, but that is my privileged status that I need to learn to enjoy.

It was great to see Amy happy, busy and productive yesterday as she has found a quiet niche for baking cinnamon scrolls that look and taste amazing. As soon as pictures went on Facebook, people started asking to order. I think it’s better for her to be concentrating on this whilst it’s fresh for people and can inspire her on to more for future cooking endeavours.

As we both always say, we are lucky to have many different options available to us.

In Empathy – 6th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I cannot close my eyes
to the injustices I see;
unable to make a difference,
it’s just frustrating me.

Whilst others suffer,
happiness is an illusion;
I can’t wrap my head around
this disappointing conclusion.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the availability of almost any book I desire to read. If I can’t buy a physical book I can usually find a digital copy.

Reading ‘The King Never Smiles’ is a saddening experience. Each night, I read about 10 pages, and I am enlightened more and more about the reality for Thai people. They have been totally manipulated and tricked into submission – not even submission – it’s like Stockholm Syndrome.

They have learned to love their captor. Every protest and uprising in the last 100 years has amounted to exactly the same thing – a useless government hamstrung by palace politics and corruption. Governments can barely last a few years, sometimes not even making it to their first day. It’s so frustrating that it makes one wish for private fighter jets to go and eliminate evil.

Whilst mine and Amy’s lives here are beyond comfortable, we are struggling through empathy for the rest of the population, deluded and ignorant or not. When Amy says she wants to leave, I can’t help but feel it is a case of wanting to stick one’s head in the sand. If it can’t be seen, then it has no effect.

Unfortunately for me, I have always felt empathy for people around the world suffering in this way, no matter where I reside. I have been, and still do, enjoy my time here, and the suffering I see for the people here doesn’t lessen my concern for those suffering in Brazil or the USA, anywhere else.

With the rules and laws here, though, trying to fight back against them is very dangerous if you live here. The ones desiring radical change are forced overseas to speak their mind and often lose the local population’s confidence by being abroad. A catch-22 easily exploited by the powerful. It’s sickening and saddening and pushes one to the dark corners of nihilism.

There seems little hope for humanity despite these comparatively good times we live through.

One’s Utensils – 9th June 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

You are my favourite fork
Comfortable in my palm
Pins not sharp enough
To do me any harm

You are my favourite knife
Good for cutting cheese
Just right for some butter
Spreading as I please

You are my favourite spoon
The right shape for my mouth
Soup, yoghurt, stir fry
Smoothly in and smoothly out

Some utensils just aren’t right
Others are perfect for me
I’m grateful to find the ones
For breakfast, dinner and tea

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my favourite knives, forks and spoons over the years. Something about how they fit in your hands and mouth makes them emotionally comforting.

There were many good things today despite some minor frustrations – just with online teaching.

The rain really turned it on and brought the temperature down to a very agreeable level, so much so that I sat in the classroom even after my lessons finished.

I’m really enjoying the coffee I’m getting in the morning. I enjoyed chatting with Fui, reading and writing poems, and studying Thai.

The rain was torrential at times but not too cold, so I didn’t bother with an umbrella and just embraced the wet and ducked under cover whenever I could.

Even though I had plenty of free time today, I wished I could have more so that I could do some more drawing too. So long as I can spew out something artistic each day, then I’m pretty happy. At the moment, it’s poems.

Infinite Jest – 23rd May 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Be on guard, the road widens
And many of the detours are seductive
Talent is its own set of expectations
Try to be a no-one, so instructed

Of multiple exposure melodramas
Learn to care and not to care
This is where you are not who you are
Shaped or broken, remain aware

Learn from those who fail
This is your body, they want you to know
This is the whirlpool, a friend
Your torn blue ankle tells you so

Unconscious exercise becomes a way to escape
A long waking dream of pure play
On the line, you must call it fair
A thousand times and every day

*pilfered and inspired by David Foster Wallace’s ‘Infinite Jest’

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for a relaxing Sunday morning with coffee and a book and then a couple of hours watching football. A little cooler today, thankfully, though still hot. The future is looking bright (if you close your eyes to other things!).

Zen and the Art of Rhyming Maintenance – 14th May 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

As an extra challenge to writing, I thought it might be interesting to write a poem for each of these quotes that I highlighted in my copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I don’t like to make things easy for myself.

If someone’s ungrateful and you tell him he’s ungrateful, okay, you’ve called him a name. You haven’t solved anything.

Problem Solved?

So, what’s the problem?
I’m an ungrateful prick?
Thanks for your comment
It really made me tick

Was it somehow helpful?
Did it get things straight?
I don’t think anything changed
I guess you’ll just have to wait

…that old feeling I’ve talked about before, a feeling that there’s something bigger involved than is apparent on the surface.

Under The Hood

I can feel it in my bones
Unshakeable but invisible
I try to look inside it
But this time, it’s not divisible

Clouding up the thoughts
Stumbling around my guesses
Impossible to clarify
Mixed within my messes

Can’t be touched upon
Or identified in the grey
It’s on the tip of my tongue
But what it is, I cannot say

He travelled alone. Always. Even in the presence of others, he was completely alone. People sometimes felt this and felt rejected by it, and so did not like him, but their dislike was not important to him.

He Travelled Alone

You said that we all need a friend
And perhaps that’s really true
But I think that I’ve decided
That friend isn’t going to be you

I’m alone but I’m not lonely
It doesn’t matter what you know
You don’t have to be like me
I’m happy if you just leave me alone

I accept the way I am
And don’t care what you say
Why do you want me to be like you?
It’s just your ego getting in my way

I’m sorry if this makes you sad
But that’s really down to you
I’ll see you again tomorrow
And know my feeling’s true

It’s frustrating to see how completely unaware he is at the time of the significance of what he is saying.

Significant Words

I look back at my old words
I see I understood things well
Yet somehow I couldn’t act on them
I couldn’t really tell

That big truths underlie all this
Almost as plain as day
It’s so easy to say them
But much harder to put in play

Sometimes so unaware
I stumble way off course
I have to remind myself
And get back on my horse

No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow.

Shout at the Sun

Some things don’t need to be said
But maybe they should be
Reminders to our busy selves
About how simple things would be

If we took time in appreciation
To really know that the sky is blue
Of course, we already know this
But we could really understand it too

Take a minute and look on up
Above your thoughts and feelings
Astound yourself with simple things
In all your daily dealings

The effort of fathoming what is in another’s mind creates a distortion of what is seen.

Are You For Real?

You don’t see what I can see
Do you?
You can’t see what’s in my mind
Can you?
You’ll never work it out now
Will you?
You aren’t really real now
Are you?

I see blue but you see red
You didn’t listen to what I said
I’ll react exactly the same
Until we can agree on a name

Let’s be clear, just talk it straight
You said mind games are what you hate
But you always do that so well
So deceptive, I couldn’t tell

Now I’m empty, now I’m blank
And for that I’ve you to thank

We have to keep going until we find out what’s wrong or find out why we don’t know what’s wrong.

Knowing

What’s wrong? Do you know?
If not, why is it so?
Don’t stop, just keep going
On this path to one day knowing

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to receive a friendly warm welcome when I dropped by Bruno’s house yesterday. He is feeling very happy now that he is no longer working for TLC and is enthusiastically talking about plans for the future and particularly his garden, which I can tell has got him really upbeat.

I’m feeling rather pleased with myself today. I spent it all either reading, sketching, studying Thai, drinking coffee, driving and writing poetry – not bad for a day at work! Enjoy it while I can.