This week there’s music from Estradasphere, Generation X, Hanadensha, Ken Boothe/Stranger Cole, Cat Power, Tipographica, The Monkees, Hayvanlar Alemi, Phleg Camp, 3D’s, The Fall, Keukhot, The Sneer-Towners, Sex Clark Five, Annihilation Time and The Nipple Erectors.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have so many choices for entertainment in my home.
Music from Curse Ov Dialect and Kaigen, Social Distortion, Bannlyst, The Fall, Unknown, Sun City Girls, The Misunderstood, The Crime, Rancid, Eddy Current Suppression Ring, The Slaves, Billy Childish and Dan Melchior, Itch, My Dad is Dead, Heavy Vegetable, Refused and The Rattles.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that the men came today to look at our roof which blew away a couple of weeks ago. Hopefully, they can fix it. I don’t envy them, having to work on the roof in the blazing sun today.
Music from Pile, uSSSy, Melt Banana, Patti Smith, Cleaning Woman, Dancebeach, Lilliput, Eric and The Smoke Ponies, Show Business Giants, Arab On Radar, Cutty’s Gym, Peter Black, Steve Harley and the Cockney Rebel, Unknown, Zachary Thrax, Obat Batuk, The Homosexuals and The Fall.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the brownie I was able to eat for breakfast. It was yummy.
To-do list
Record new TCRAH and finish upload ✅
Check out Google Sheets for school ✅
Check out Microsoft Teams
Meditate ½
Both Amy and I got nicely relaxed yesterday on our cannabis brownies – I had to eat six of them to get a good effect though and felt so chocolate-sick by late evening. It was a very nice effect though and I actually sat and just listened to music which I haven’t really done for a long while. So, I was a little bit too relaxed last night to write anything!
I feel OK to go to work again tomorrow and really want to crack on with the lesson writing so I can get a good head start for when all the classes start again properly in July
Music from Cause For Effect, The Fall, All, Non Compos Mentis, Unwound, The Who, Black Flag, Beau Navire, Maximillian Colby, Sir Millard Mulch, Thin Pillow, Volcano Suns, Angst, And The Earth Swarmed With Them, Empat Lima and Captain Beefheart.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for Sichuan pepper. Numbs my lips and creates havoc in my stomach but it tastes so good.
In the 1970s, 80s and 90s, Arthur Deikman warned that many of the spiritual and utopian groups that had mushroomed out of the counter-culture were harmful cults…… He identified four signs of cult-like behaviour — dependence on a leader, compliance with the group, forbidding dissent, and devaluing outsiders. These four behaviours were particularly strong in cults, he suggested, but existed throughout society.
Jules Evans – The soulful psychiatrist (email newsletter)
When I read this I immediately became aware that the school system that I am working within in this country is cult-like. These are government schools where I work, so it makes some sense. Governments operate utilising these four behaviours too.
In this system, preferences are given to the leader, superior or elder, whether they are deserving or not. If they are found lacking machinations begin to move that leader along, often with a handshake to comfort the stab in the back.
Compliance within the group is essential. You must conform. Non-conformity will enable idle gossip, rumour and lies. This will dig deep into your soul until it becomes unbearable. The nail that sticks out gets hammered down. (I am that nail, over and over. Yes, I am stupid but I hope to learn.) It is a culture clash that happens repeatedly as teachers come and go faster than they can be replaced. No one learns from this as each party shakes their fists as they walk away.
Dissent leads the same way. Any question is seen as dissent, any suggestion is dissent, opening your mouth can be taken as dissent. To make improvements trickster behaviour must be employed, backroom suggestions that may filter through as if the leaders had thought of it themselves.
And the old favourite – devaluing outsiders. In an environment of education, it seems like it should be essential for everyone to work together. However, here there is a palpable us and them. If you decide to follow the path of non-compliance and dissent you will be seen to have no value (‘you’re one of them, one of them’). The survival technique ensures devaluing yourself – it is too great a burden for many to take.
I am not filled with hope for education in this country. But I can hope that it is only my limited experience and that things are much better in private schools at least, but which unfortunately only the wealthy can afford.
The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #28
Music from Aburadako, Ween, The Fall, Ahleuchastistas, Steve Miller Band, Radio Palestine, Sajjanu, The Motions, The Letters, Abnorman Chaffy, The Ramones, Jimi Hendrix Experience, Girls Against Boys, Marmalade Butcher, Guzzlemug, Slight Seconds, Cinematics, Strange Changes.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to watch our trees sprout new growth. To see the birds fly down from the branches and pick up yummy worms.
To-do list
Practice being nicer to everyone ½
Upload and record TCRAH ✅
Check files and start grading ✅
More CD sorting ✅
Xbox Dance today?
I woke up a little hungover today despite only having two beers last night. I’m really not enjoying drinking as much now, though I think I’m not really enjoying anything at the moment. It’s just a feeling that I’m sure will pass soon enough. I feel like I’m going through the motions mostly.
I did get a few things done today and starting to refocus myself a little and after six days stuck at home, I am getting a little itchy to just go for a walk.
I really want to get up tomorrow morning and start playing that dance game. I must do it. I should dance – in my own unstylish way. It will at least make Amy smile.
I got bothered today because Amy mentioned that when I write to school or TLC my words are quite argumentative, or could be perceived that way. I need to become more aware of that and be more amenable. I must think more about what I write and hoping that will transfer to the way I speak too.
Music from Ibrahim Maalouf, Pm 7_Jupiter, Vialka, Doctor Coffee, The Fugs, The Fall, Pavement, The Dickies, Turnpike, France Gall, WannFunTastiKlons, uSSSy, Birthday Party, Ween, The Who and And So I Watch You From Afar.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I have learned not to be afraid to stand up for what I believe in and also accept those consequences even if they are not in my favour. Others may do things differently and that’s their choice.
11th Apr 2021 – You’ll have to keep reading to find out more about those consequences – the period between September 2019 and March 2020 was very trying indeed! The last sentence mention of ‘others’ is just about the advice given by other teachers to me and how some considered that it is impossible for a farang to change and improve things within any Thai system. I fought against it and arguably, I lost – at least at the time. Longer term though I consider the minor changes I did create were worth the effort. Being a teacher is not about taking it easy for me, it’s a responsibility. I see others putting up and shutting up, but to me, that is just lazy. Never give up.
Music from Lifter Puller, Thinking Plague, Ozric Tentacles, Built To Spill, Unknown, Shellac, Parliament, Naked City, The Fall, fordamage, Boredoms, Pink Floyd and Dexys Midnight Runners.
14th Feb 2021 – Around this time things were getting very difficult for me with the school I was working at, which led to me leaving at the end of the semester – I forget exactly when perhaps late September or early October. I’ll write more about that at some point.
Anyway, with the stressful situation, I decided to adjust my focus to making a music podcast. I would often sit and marvel as my music library would be set to shuffle and so much great music just kept popping up, so I started keeping track and then making recordings of those songs. I eventually settled into a rhythm of doing one episode per week, often working 3 or 4 weeks in advance.
It was a really enjoyable habit, to focus 3 or 4 hours per weekend to put an episode together. It kept me sane until, of course, it drove me insane. As usual, I developed more ideas as I went along and refined and improved things (I think).
As with this blog, I only made the shows for my own pleasure and didn’t really care whether anyone listened or not and was happy when one or two listeners became comrades. Only after seeing that a million others were doing the same thing and not many people were listening to them either, I decided to bow out and not add any further to the noise of the internet for a while.
When I was in my mid-teens I would blast crazy music out of my bedroom window in the weird hope that people might be intrigued enough to come in and discover more about this mad world of music that I existed in. But living in rural Dorset with only the odd farmer and stray cow or dog passing by, no one ever came to enquire – or even to complain.
I only recently understood the meaning of Aladdin Sane. Not the song/music but just those two words. Duh!
I slept through the heat of the day, a bit more fitfully than yesterday’s deep dreamless rest. The whirr of the overhead fan blades never reminded me of the first scene in Apocalypse Now and thankfully, this isn’t the end.
God bless Saturday
God bless Saturday
A women’s laugh from a backyard party on our street woke me, someone’s having fun. A creaking door, a turned tap. It doesn’t bother me, it doesn’t upset me. People are just being people going about their days.
Day by day
The moon gains on me
The dreams I was chasing are quickly forgotten but I know they were good.
And it’s quiet again
Hidden figments, surface now
Repetitious history
One more time for the record
Last day of four night shifts again. I’m starting to flag.
The man who’s head diminished. Sounds like my head, trying to unravel this lot
I can tell you Sparky!
A day and a half break to do some washing and reading and then back to it, but at least back on regular shifts, which will at least give me three and half day breaks again though I may see if I can get some more overtime cos money is money.
If your rates too high
Put your life on this bit of paper
Amy insists I bring her at least three bags of goon from Australia despite me having a full bag already. Aussie wine is expensive in Thailand and Amy sounded like she needed a drink tonight. I’m anticipating my first drink of the year when I arrive in Thailand too – will probably knock me off my feet.
Good riddance to my native country
It never did a thing for me
It’s a better life here
It is a good life here
Football and beer much superior…
Well, are you feeling festive on the first of the Christmas month? I’m sure confused because Christmas time normally means cold days, long nights and sifting around with the heating on. I’m currently running around in t-shirt and jeans and mostly less than that! Not much snow forecast in Sydney for Christmas I don’t suppose.
Anyway, after coming back from cousin Jan’s we attempted to park the car in the garage and scraped the front, taking off some paint, which we thought might cost us some to repair if they pick up on it when we return it on Tuesday. Oh well, nothing we could do about it.
After all the excitement of the beach on Sunday we had to get Broni into the city for a job interview, it turned out to be a bit of a waste of time as it was pretty much earmarked for someone else and they were just going through the motions of interviewing people anyway. It was interview practice anyway, for her interview in Newcastle, which is where we headed after that, this road will be as familiar to me as the Poole-London motorway soon, at least this road is a sight prettier.
We hoped to hit the beach but the weather turned from boiling hot sunshine to a dull mist by the time we got there. As we drove through I figured Newcastle seemed like a cool place to live, not too far away from Sydney and a little more relaxed than there. We planned to stay with Broni’s friend Christa and after bumming around town for a bit we went to her house, a Victorian looking terrace house about a hundred yards from the beach (lots of beaches here!).
Inside, the house just blew me away, it was huge, kinda deceptive from the outside cos it looked kinda squashed in there, though it did remind me of something out of Chelsea, London. So, inside Christa shows us around. The ceilings are high which give the impression of space, the floors polished wood, furniture sparse and functional, all clean and tidy, as we go we get to meet the rest of the household, Michael, who actually owns the place, he’s a doctor,Jim, who’s also a doctor and practicing surfing, so we agreed to get down to the beach sometime in the future, and Cathy who’s a physio and gave me that deja vu feeling that I’d seen her somewhere before. Christa is an occupational therapist, so everyone in the house is well paid and they’re having a ball, quite prepared though they were to share their good fortune with their friends.
The house goes down one floor to the kitchen and a bedroom and outside into a yard where Michael and Jim were making some mighty fine home brew (checked some they’d made earlier and it was good). Upstairs to more bedrooms and bathroom that included a spa bath and a shower that hung down in the middle of the bath with at least a seven inch head. Through another bedroom that lead out onto a front verandah that was shut off with big yellow storm doors, and upstairs again to an attic room that just about had a view of the beach left between the buildings that had recently been constructed. What an amazing place to live and incredibly cheaply too, these guys had really fallen on their feet. They all made us feel really comfortable and relaxed.
After much chat, me, Broni and Christa headed into town, in what was a dull rainy old night, though still warm enough for only a shirt, we hit the Thai restaurant and deluged ourselves with red curries and satay sauces. The pace in the whole town seemed really comfortable and more to my liking compared with Sydney, so we hope that Broni goes well in her interview, in fact Jim’s girlfriend is a speech pathologist at another hospital and gave us some inside information which could mean well for Broni, let’s hope so.
Off to bed, Broni sits up and revises, especially in light of this new information, and when she eventually turns out the light we lay awake for sometime before hitting snoozeland.
Bright and early risers with much on our minds, fingers crossed and all that, we say our farewells and thanks to our new friends and drive up to the hospital, which is set around beautiful bushland, the birds screaming mad messages at the edge of the car park.
Broni comes out about an hour later with a big smile, knowing she’s done well and in with a chance, now the desperate wait ’til they get in touch and advise us. We grab a local paper with houses for rent and other jobs for me advertised, let’s force our luck, hey?
We drive up to Peter and Paula’s house, which is another stylish house with an incredible view over the beach and the town, must cost a fortune to live up here. They feed us, Peter decides to help out by painting the scrape in the car, unfortunately it doesn’t work too well in the short time we have to fix it and he comes up with this hail’ brained scheme of covering the car in dirt and mud which he then proceeds to do, a little bit of oxide thrown in for good measure, we have to dash to get back to Sydney in time but on the way we start to feel guilty and stop quickly at a jet wash and hose off the offending dirt, leaving just a small trace of oxide near the scrape.
Gunning for home, hitting 140 on the flat, that’s k’s now, not mph ok, we break the sound barrier and arrive with a half hour to spare, run in and pay and run out again straight to the train station and onto a train where we sit back and relax.
We get some beer and wine and celebrate the night away, exhausted after these five free days, free to drive anywhere anytime and boy, did we, nearly a thousand k’s.
Well, that’s as much excitement as I could stand these days so I’ve spent the next two calming myself down a bit. And today, I’m gloriously happy, content with life and my long term buddy, Broni, and happy at all the fun I’m due to have, come and get me!
25th Mar 2021 – I remember none of this except the scrape on the car. I’m thinking it’s a good job I wrote it down but then wondering if I haven’t bothered to remember it much because I wrote it down? It is a lot of beers ago now though.
Searching for images to use for some of these posts throws out some really nice old old pictures. 1924 or 1994 – it’s all getting old these days.
Dead Kennedys – Holiday in Cambodia The Fall – How I Wrote ‘Elastic Man’
17th July 2021 – Holiday in Cambodia still sends chills down my spine. I would have first heard this on John Peel’s radio show I’m sure, as well as all the Fall singles. I listen to the Fall quite regularly still (still discovering parts of their huge back catalog), more so than the DK’s.
I’d scour the NME and Sounds ‘indie’ charts and marvel at all the weird names of bands and song titles, curious about everything. The genre ‘punk’ still encompassed so many different sounds around this time and even crappy little bands from places like Nowhere, Cornwall could sell 10,000 or more copies of their DIY 7″. I feel lucky to have been at just the right age to get caught up in it all.
At the time I wished I was older and could have gotten caught in the first punk wave but in retrospect that explosion seemed to alienate many after a year or two and it’s legacy, whilst worthy, perhaps wouldn’t have inspired such a life long dedication to these oddball sounds that I still hanker to find in new bands today.