The very essence of my soul betrayed
No knowledge may heal the wound I made
In this fog, there is nowhere to be or go
I just can’t forgive myself I’m afraid
Misery and self-loathing bedevil my days
A madness of the impossible Derrida says
The radical act of self-forgiveness so
Absolve yourself, you must find the ways
Inspired (and butchered) by a reply to a letter to Nick Cave at The Red Hand Files newsletter
and submitted to Thursday Inspiration #246
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that our cats seem to have recovered. Cap from a bad stomach and Kim from wounds after a big fight with Tigger. Tigger has been very well recently though his fur is starting to make him look old.
I was planning to do some preparation and reading and writing this afternoon but Fui brought his teenage son and daughter to House and I ended up talking with all of them for most of the time! Fui’s kids study in Singapore, and have done for many years. I’m not sure why and didn’t ask, but it’s interesting to get their perspective on things especially as English has become their first language.
My one class this morning was with 2/11 and it went well. I got them more involved by helping me to learn the Thai words for all the English vocabulary that I wanted them to remember. So, I’m feeling good.
A rest day from the abs workout. I can feel that there is less fat on my chest and my ribs are becoming more visible. I like this healthier me. As with anything, I should’ve started sooner. I’m still thinking about that time of brushing off Rupert when he started lifting weights at school. I was all about smoking and drinking. I was lucky that my metabolism sustained my skinny body into my late 30s and only the beer started sticking on my hips.
OK – back to it. More free time tomorrow afternoon to finish off this preparation.
Weight: 76.6kg
Resting heart rate: 47
1994ever 