Month: October 2022

A Blind Man’s Tale – 11th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When the sword swings to cut
Is the lover’s face seen?
the battle fought through passions
Whispered in a dream
Towers set to blaze a message
New lives together begun
And so three daughters rose
Along with the morning sun

Based on the Junichiro Tanizaki short story

The need for mystery is greater than the need for an answer.

Ken Kesey

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and satisfied
Today I’m grateful for:
Having two days in a row not using aircon during the day. I do still have it on for a couple of hours through the night though. I like to feel cold so I can wrap up to sleep. Hopefully, my electricity bill will decrease a little for a few months now.
The best thing about today was:
Finally finishing ironing my shirts whilst watching the last episode of Thai Cave Rescue, then watching a documentary about the rescue and then to come full circle and picking out old clothes, including lots of shirts, which I took to Nick at Daytripper to give out.
Who inspires you?
I don’t know that there is anyone in particular who inspires me currently. I take inspiration from many people depending on the situation. Ultimately I depend on myself for inspiration.

I took this picture because Kim Chi seems to have gotten so lazy that she forgets to get up for dinner. I know she comes and snacks during the day and through the night so I’m not too worried.

Youthful Idealism – 10th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Where’s my youthful idealism?
I fucking want it back
Now I’m old and tired
I’d rather just hit the sack
Why am I not shouting?
Thinking to make change
Wanting the best for everyone
Surely is not so strange
When did I give up?
Did I just get distracted?
Now I’ve got what I want
And I’m no longer impacted
Where’s your youthful idealism?
Why aren’t you complaining?
My life is almost over
But yours is still remaining

How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music.
How to feel time: write.

Matt Haig, Reasons To Stay Alive

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and on holiday
Today I’m grateful for:
The men who cleaned my bike. I know I could have done it myself but I wouldn’t have been so thorough.
The best thing about today was:
Getting some more blog stuff done whilst listening to music. Also finishing another book. I still look at my bookshelf with joyful anticipation for future reading.

Do you owe someone money? Does someone owe you?
I don’t owe money to anyone or any institutions. I am debt free.

I guess some people do owe my money but it’s in the past and doesn’t amount to much in the scheme of things.

I generally live by the rule that if you lend someone twenty dollars and never see them again then it was probably worth it.

Of course, I loaned out much more substantial amounts to bands in the past and mostly managed to chase down outstanding amounts.

If I loan or lend anyone money now, which is rare, I don’t expect to see it again but happy if it does get repaid. This is only because I am now financially secure. Let’s hope it stays that way.

I took this picture because this is the cleanest I have seen my bike since buying it. It was worth the 45 baht expense!

No Rest – 9th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

After death, you are put into a room
With a TV and some snacks
You will watch your whole life replayed
Perhaps to reflect on what it lacks
A minute-by-minute repeat
To observe each success and mistake
You may pause at any point
It’s a long time and you’ll need a break
After a lifetime looking back
You will be born to the world again
Taking the wisdom learned
Which the gods tried to explain

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and calm
Today I’m grateful for:
The man selling coconut water and pandan smoothies. Damn, they are delicious!
The best thing about today was:
Another long ass bike ride around the area I had discovered a couple of days ago. Google Maps lead me nicely astray again and I’ll have to wash my shoes yet again…

I took this picture because P’ti was squashed up against the window like this at Utopia this morning. So cute.

Stephen Pike – 8th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

What were you doing in my bed last night
That made me wake up screaming?
Who are you and why give me such a fright
Even though I was only dreaming?

This was a real dream, a man walking up the bed and bending down to strangle me, and as he did I woke up screaming ‘Stephen Pike, Stephen Pike’. I don’t know who he is.

No man should judge unless he asks himself in absolute honesty whether in a similar situation he might not have done the same.

Viktor Frankl

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and relaxed.
Today I’m grateful for:
The bananas I bought at the market that have fed me for the last couple of days. Why are other people’s bananas so good and tasty but the ones growing in my garden don’t go well?
The best thing about today was:
Being around home all day and not feeling stressed or bored or anything in particular. The whole day has been pleasant and enjoyable.

The most important invention in your lifetime is…
The internet, I think. Being involved in IT I was able to utilise my skills early on and saw all the possibilities the internet could provide. It enabled me to contact people around the world easily and allowed me to travel to different countries.

I took this picture because Cap was sitting on the mat in the bathroom looking cute and like he was a teen again so I got down to his level to take photos. This one shows his broken tooth and his broken tongue.

Old Smelly Goat – 7th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The old smelly goat can always be found
In an honest conversation
The bush is eaten, not beaten around
Never requiring explanation
And so the room is full of his stink
At least in your imagination
The truth doesn’t care about what you think
Your position or situation

He who has endured most suffering, most privation, will awaken in the afterwards most keenly alive.

Lev Shestov

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and satisfied.
Today I’m grateful for:
Watching the sunset from the middle of the valley, across rice fields and the big wide sky. I felt at one with the world.
The best thing about today was:
Discovering a whole new part of the valley to explore when I have more time. I didn’t want to go out in the afternoon as I’m already sunburnt so I decided to go at 5pm and I raced down to the airport only having a rough idea of where I wanted to go and so I found lots of nice villages and rice fields and good riding tracks and with lots of wide open space with tracks going off everywhere. Not much jungle here in the valley.

I took this picture because this sums up my days recently since it stopped raining. I spend time in the hammock reading and looking at the home around me.

Made Of Plastic – 6th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I’m made of plastic
I will melt in the sun
I’ll poison the grounds
Where clean waters run

I’m made of plastic
For 5 minutes convenient
Thanks to the dinosaurs
Providing my ingredient

I’m made of plastic
I’ve no use to think
Formed into containers
For the water that you drink

I’m made of plastic
Providing a life of ease
I may not live forever
But longer than the trees

I’m made of plastic
Cancer waits its turn
Coming to the ground near you
Or to the air to burn

Not rarely will a person suffer from neurosis that results from the situation of a sane man living in an insane society, rather than that of the more conventional neurosis of a sick man trying to adapt himself to a sick society.

Erich Fromm

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and chilled
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to hop on my motorbike and pay my electricity bill at the shop when my app didn’t manage to work.
The best thing about today was:
Closing the gate this evening. In fact, for the last few evenings, the sky has been fairly clear and the temperature perfect to just stand and admire the moon, the stars and clouds as well watching multitudes of fireflies and storms gathering on the other side of the valley with great bright yellow flashes lighting the way.

I took this picture because Aing drew these little pictures when she was staying here when Amy and I were in Bangkok. They were a nice surprise to find when we got back home together, back in July.

A Half Head – 5th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s a pink and a black
Could this be the game’s end?
Snookered by lust unsatisfied
Does the old man need a new friend?

A foot in two rivers
And maybe the sea will never be found
A head in two halves
A vehicle in which to be drowned

…at the last we shall not know which was the dream – the years of plenty or the barren years that descended like a storm in the night and swept our youth away.

John Middleton Murry

Today I’m feeling:
Tired but chilled
Today I’m grateful for:
Having some extra sleep time. I felt a little regretful at wasting my morning but I really enjoyed it.
The best thing about today was:
The uni student with half pink and half black hair. I liked it. It was very striking and I wanted to take a photo but I wasn’t in the mood for talking today.

I took this picture because this was my view from my table at Daytripper at golden hour today.

Frank’s Dream – 4th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When Frank died his soul flew up high
And ended up in a powerful war machine
He screamed ‘ANNIHILATE’ but didn’t know why
But then it turned out it was all just a dream

Inspired by Armoured Gideon, 2000AD

It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it; but the young know they are wretched for they are all full of the truthless ideal which has been instilled into them, and each time they come into contact with the real, they are bruised and wounded.

W. Somerset Maugham

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and satisfied.
Today I’m grateful for:
The front wheel of my motorbike. It took some hard knocks on some tough roads today and I was worried I would have to limp down the mountain with a flat tyre but it held up and got me home.
The best thing about today was:
Riding around new mountains and discovering some beautiful villages and amazing scenery. It was blissful.

What daily habit do you do that improves your quality of life?
For 24 years now I’ve been taking sertraline and that has made an incredible difference to my life, keeping me stable and less prone to depression. I still have bad moments but in general, I am much happier than a was in my first 30 years.
Brushing my teeth. Sad to say that I didn’t look after my teeth well for my first 20 years or so. They are just hanging on since starting to care about them more.
Making my bed. A small habit I only acted on since moving to Thailand. I actually don’t care if my bed is made or not but I do it so as to include it in a series of morning habits and to feel, no matter how minor, to have achieved something already, right at the beginning of the day.
Exercise….if I do it every day it will definitely improve my quality of life. Now I just have to do it every day!

I took this picture because Bruno and I met these kids after a long muddy ride and they were so happy and inquisitive to see two muddy white men in their mountain school at the end of the road.

In The Hammock – 3rd October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Swinging back and forth, to and fro
Watching the world progress in its daily flow
As I contemplate, does the bee wonder so?
What does the bee know, that I don’t know?

He was an older gentleman of considerable charm and culture, who had fallen, however, into bad habits of silence, having said everything he had to say before he was thirty.

Oscar Wilde

Today I’m feeling:
Happy but hungry
Today I’m grateful for:
Banoffee at Daytripper. I needed a sugar and coffee hit this afternoon and fancied a banoffee and luckily they had some available. I sat at a table in the breeze as uni students sat at other tables, eating, chatting and studying and watched rain come over the hill of the university and spooned delicious caramel, banana and chocolate into my mouth, tempered with sips of bitter cappuccino.
The best thing about today was:
Playing the guitar along to some of my favourite songs and realising that I am slowly improving in my playing. Even if I wasn’t it is still just a lot of fun to make cool screeching noises.

What’s one small improvement you can make in your life?
I need to get back into the habit of exercising somehow. I’m still feeling the after-effects of covid but I’m inputting more calories than I’m burning these days and that’s with not really eating too much.

I took this picture because this was the view from where I was sipping my coffee as the rain poured in the distance. 3 rainbows? Maybe an optical illusion of a 4th?

Our Primitive Nature – 2nd October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Groping in the shadows for understanding
Groping in the darkness in search of love
We’ll come to terms with our dark side
Get away and look down from above

Running away from our primitive nature
Rationalising and excusing ways to behave
Learning to accept what’s beyond control
The weight of knowledge will build to save

In the country of the bland, the one-idea man is king.

? – variation on another popular quote

Today I’m feeling:
Happy
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s mum and dad again for bringing me food. Somehow they seem to always pick the wrong time to bring food. Dad walked in with two serves of pla duk foo just as I pulled out my lunch which was reheating in the microwave. So I ate one for dinner and will have to eat the other tomorrow, even though I have soup prepared already. Their timing is uncanny.
The best thing about today was:
Getting out and working in a different cafe just to make change. The coffee was adequate and improved by the fact that it was only 35baht which was a nice surprise. I sat on a rooftop, with a big shade cover. Everything was dry despite the morning rain. Many kittens were dashing around and causing us all in view to smile. A soft cool breeze and a sensible temperature made for a fresh-air work environment. I realise I should have appreciated it for longer whilst there but I’ll be happy to appreciate it right now in my memory.

Describe your best concert experience.
So many to choose from but let’s consider seeing Cardiacs in London as a six-piece with Miss Swift and the Consultant, champagne, flowers and confetti. Lisa drove us and we were both amped a little on speed. The whole atmosphere was joyous and inclusive, the room filled with love and dry ice. We drove home on a high, watching the rain on the window and following the out-of-focus road leading the way. We couldn’t stop smiling until our cheeks hurt.

I took this picture because today is the first day it’s been cool enough to wear a t-shirt indoors. And when Tigger saw me laying down and finally clothed he started chattering away. I struggled to lift him from the floor and he settled on my chest before rolling into the crook of my arm and swimming away as I rubbed his fatty belly with deep rattling purrs. I don’t know why he only comes when I have a shirt on.