Category: 1994
Waiting on the back seat of the bus
Somedays this and somedays that – 2nd June 1994
Soon awake around 9 but such a wonderful sleep. Breakfast ate and monies paid for board, we trekked back across London to Kew Gardens – once again bright sunny day.
We spent about four hours in gasping amazement at the wonders of nature that are held here. Flowering Rhododendrons, tall bushy trees, ducks and squirrels, palms and bamboo. Despite our weary legs we saw as much as we could, sunshine charging our batteries. So much beauty contained here in the middle of the big stink. Do the London people come here to relax at 4 pounds per time, I wonder?
I still think London is a beautiful place and I’m looking forward to living in Sydney with a bit of hustle and bustle, at least for a while.
Our drive home was torturous, legs aching so, and desperate to sit down and do nothing! We dropped off Robbie in Southampton and arrived home an hour later, only to make arrangements to go and cook up some dinner at Kerry’s. Ah! Sweet food, shovelled in and nothing else to do but watch TV and read magazines, and I fell asleep as the girls watched Beauty and the Beast.
Pick me up and turn me round
Into the disarray around me
– Cardiacs
And for next two nights till now we’re still catching up on our beauty rest, my Broni being the cutest thing on earth when waking each new morning. Soon I’ll be able to stay in bed there with her and talk and play and not get up till teatime!
Squalor is at large in tidy suburbia – 1st June 1994
Oh and Rob was dancing da boogie to da Ramones and we all did, and the house rocked, literally. Me and Broni slept on the tiniest single bed that we ever slept but we did sleep instantly heads hit pillow.
I woke at 7am, sun streaming in across lillied water, some bird gently greeting the day too right outside, in his own house of sorts. Soon I stirred everyone (Broni and Rob) and coffee’d them up into action and saying our farewells we left this beautiful spot for the big smoke.
Oh but it was a beautiful journey through tunnels of gloriously green trees and on through twisty villages, sun streaming constant casting beautiful tree shadows across the road we journeyed. On and on, til building shaped the scape and after much navigation found New Cross and parked up close to tonight’s gig and hit the road on foot and rail. Taking the underground overground and into the city to Victoria, to book some place to stay the night and catch another coffee (us all tired and weak by now).
Onto South Ken to the V&A Museum which was most cool as we spent hours looking at jewellery and costumes and artefacts and the excellent glass exhibition. Shapes and colours bouncing and reflecting – understandable fascination people have with glass, the collection of it.
Oh but it’s all too much and our dials are on overload so to Covent Garden to watch performers and candlemakers through hustle and bustle to food and nourishment. Budweiser returns colour to cheeks and my tired body prepared itself for next part of our adventure which I will have to detail you later.
And now is later. So we took long train back under and over to New Cross and got ourselves ready for the night’s ear bash. Inside the venue (called The Venue) some band thankfully finished their Carter inspired set – singer being a real whinger moaning type, but they looked pretty young so good luck to them in the future.
Into second beer and second band, Poisoned Electric Head, came on all wired and weird in funny masks and I think the singers should have kept them on. They started out vaguely interesting but soon hit dirgedom. Oh well, next band we saw from upstairs and have no idea who they is, a violin or two and hymnal female vocals reminded me of Cranes – I thought they were great at what they do but not my groove thang, you understand.
Into the middle front for Cardiacs who, fuck me dead, started with Burn Your House Brown – what a fucking ripper! And Loosefish Scapegrace in there too with some newies and oldie classic. My itching body throbbed to the beat and if more room was available I’da been windmilling air guitar, Pete Townshend (John Otway) style. Stone Age Dinosaurs/To Go Off and Things blew me away. Phew. We leave soon after second encore, ears ringing pretty tunes. Rob says ‘fairground hardcore’ and that’s all I can make out.
We sit drained in the car and navigate to our B&B where long needed rest is urged upon our bodies. Soon found it soon happens and tomorrow is another day.
They’re classless, matchless, ageless and waterproof – 31st May 1994
Once again an action packed weekend. It could be I’m trying to cram as much in as possible and make the best of my time left here – I’d be insane if I only had three months left to live.
Well, dudes, here’s the news I have to relate. Friday I made a conscious effort to relax and forget about things and me, Broni and Kerry went to see the excellent ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’ at the wonderful Odeon. A good film but fuck when are cinemas going to give us beds to lay on to watch a film (it makes sense to me and my back)? We was in mad rush before we got to cinema and didn’t have time to drink our bottle of Champagne pre film so laid into it 11 P.M. (after much convincing on Broni’s part as I had to work in the morning). When I say Champagne, it’s really just sparkling wine but we play better than we are.
We talked over Miles Davis in the room two-candled, only attentions turned romantic and I couldn’t help but kiss my baby’s soft fleshy smooth torso till urges became uncontrollable and 10 seconds after climax we were both sleep in separate dreamworlds still wrapped arm in arm.
The hangover hit about an hour after I got up and I soldiered through a dull morning at work before making it home, then to travel agent to deposit our tickets when Broni turns up, new green D.M.’s and face all a-grin (spending money makes her happy) and we laughed as we packed up stuff for out weekend to come.
We searched for food to no avail on journeys meandering track, Broni playing camera girl all the while. Soon to pick up Rob and highway hit through to Chichester to find Mick and Lisa on their new residence. On it because it’s a floater. A houseboat on an old canal and it was a beautiful place in the sun and a very relaxing atmosphere. We all agreed it’d be the pits in winter though.
We chatted and caught up on things since last time, before Lisa had to go off to work in the pub, the rest of us decided to walk round the bay to the pub which was an eventful journey where we all basically ended up with wet feet, Jesus-footing ourselves across sodden grass from high tide.
After beer and nosh and talk and Ray turning up we hot tailed it back to the little house on the water actually coming close to video our own deaths in a drunken car crash that thankfully didn’t happen, the people in the other car must have shit themselves! Once back Lisa rolls a continuous supply of pure grass joints and we make drunken videos of ourselves till 2 in the A.M.
They said our youth was dead, how could they know? – 25th May 1994
Fucking fuck – five days fly fast through time and motion I can’t keep up and I have no idea where I am in this world right now! Jeez, and found myself jumping at the Joiners again last night (slightly sad because Broni-less and work fed up-ness but such good contrast to go from shit at work to fun with friends).
Anyway coolness abounded again tonight with Thirst, The Zimmer Frames and Bedlam Hour playing cool songs to cool crowd with some madcap dancing and smiles aplenty. Wished I was in better mood because I couldn’t really communicate much ‘cept a bit to Rob. Tried striking up a convo with some dude I saw last week and this time bought a Blake Babies LP off me and, fuck, I couldn’t believe, it I started talking to him and then just finished up. Will take more time to talk to him next time for sure.
Been thinking about that all day, with the million other things flying around my tiny mind – can you tell from these erratic sentences, jumbled along, to some sense.
The weekend was cool, playing tennis and watching movies (Wendy Cracked A Walnut, Naked Gun 33 1/3, and Sea of Love). Get this – booking our tickets for September 27th – £530 each – polishing off two bottles of champagne Sunday night and jumping all over to Cardiacs and – get this second time – buying a camcorder! Been on our minds sometime now.
You know, I can’t remember what I wrote last week but can remember two months ago. Blistering blurred blind vision head down head-up hammering steam train 100mph no holds barred head fuck. Goddamn my baby Broni must love me some to put up with this shit. Dudes, take care.
Also:
26th May 1994 : Quick note at the end of the day. Still mad million thoughts but more cohesive and more productive. Whew!
28th May 1994 : Just a brief mention for feedback and delay. Things start to take on more significance as time passes by, f’instance, take 25th of May entry re Bedlam Hour’s fine gig – now seems to hold much more value for me than it did at the time (note how fed up I sounded) and the same with Trumans Water Newport effort – gawd such a mad rush to get there and make sure we had a good time for our troubles it’s not until later you get to realise what kind of impact it has on you.
Times travelling faster than me this month/section of lifetime and maybe it’s not till I settle somewhere more permanently that I’ll be able to reflect on what exactly it all means. Delay and feedback. Current reflections echo love and energy.
Scrape the cake from faces ’til they’re raw and bloodied
Use their gristled blood to grease our tracks
Take their speaking money for an understudy
Stick a bony finger down their gullets ’til they vomit up the past
– Trumans Water
Fame And Fortune Is A Stupid Game – 20th May 1994
Kurt Cobain, what’s your point?
Couldn’t take the pressure
Couldn’t face the world and his wife
Too much shit said, too much
Put on to you by people you never knew
Pissy schizophrenic, suicide, no surprise
Rock legend dies
The revolution he never asked for
Killed him in front of his follower’s eyes
Kurt Cobain, what’s your point?
Sad loser took the easy way out
Gave up instead of getting away
To take the chance to play another day
Talent gone and forgotten by next century
That’s the waste
And the fame others hope to taste
Will still dangle like a carrot
For the young hopefuls to untangle
It’s going to be a fine night tonight, it’s going to be a fine day tomorrow – look at the sky – 19th May 1994
Yum yum yum – life’s here for eating up. Not that I’d lost any faith in people but had I done so it would’ve been restored by last night’s events. Well, start at the beginning somewhere.
Last night was another trip up to the Joiners and this time we took John and Sarah and some records to sell. John was in particularly enthusiastic mood – jeez, that guy is enthusiastic about everything! Well, I was in a bouncing mood tonight that’s for sure and found it difficult to stand behind my records for long periods so hell, I didn’t.
The atmosphere reminded me of Green Day’s gig there a couple of years back. Everyone was happy and everything was cool. The Thirst single was here for sale too – great job Tony has done and a fine tribute to Steve. Chrissy was in cheerful mood too along with Selena etc and me in charge of photo opportunity (dropping it while pissing!).
Thirst played a great set and are coming on really well and I gave them not too much stick! Wow! There was lots of pissed French punks here too – where did they come from!? (France! – ha!) The Harries played of set of Ramones style riffing – fun but unexciting. Everyone was happy though – it was that kinds bouncy music. Much chat and record sales (!) later, Rhythm Collision played a reasonable set of hardcore tunes, the guitarist later buying a Lemonheads LP from me and then us having a way cool conversation, me telling him about Broni and our love affair and plans for Oz. He knows Greg from Spiral Objective in Adelaide too which was cool coincidence. This dude was way cool anyway which is what I’m trying to relate, ok.
Eventually we got away and home at 1.15am and all today I feel proud to be a part of such good, honest fun things that friends across continents can organise for each other and it really feels like one big family with all sorts of diverse influences and anything goes and respect comes first. Today I love life and remember where I am in this world.
Rearrange events again – 16th May 1994
A fine interruption in my writing last night, that’s why the above seems a tad unfinished. It’s been a wonderful weekend. At last, I’ve been able to relax a bit and on sunny Sunday (yesterday) rode down to the beach and round Poole and watched videos and messed about and did this and that. My beautiful Broni flakes near midnight but I wouldn’t come to bed – eager to sort out more poems for the next issue of the booklet and this morning my sweet was in such a beautiful foul mood it made us both laugh and I carried on laughing at work till, bloody hell, things start piling up for me too and I’m saying, ‘Ah fuck it, what do I care?’ (in my head at least). And here I am now writing this.
If there was some sense to make I’d try and understand – 15th May 1994
Much to write about once again. Finally finished reading The Vanity of Dulouz. Such a great read – beautifully written. Besides all that and the usual run ins at work (I really have had enough!) we, fucking hell, got my visa! And celebrated at the Mandarin! Took my mum out for a meal next night too! No wonder we have no money!
Anyways, trekked up to Newport for the wonderful Trumans Water (they get better the more I think about them!), no bass player but some didgeridoo instead! Broni was very tired though and it was very loud so she wasn’t so impressed – maybe next time we see them.
Baby, I love you, but I’m too loaded to love you properly – 10th May 1994
Things are still a blur to me now. I can’t seem to concentrate on anything for longer than a few minutes. It took me three sittings just to write one letter to old pal Joe in Boston. I started to write bits and pieces here and there too, at work and at home but I never seem to get stuck into it for long enough. I’m all tensed up right now and feel ready to explode.
I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s trip to Newport and Thursday’s day off work. We went window shopping for laptop computers and camcorders on the weekend which was fun, and round to Rosemary’s on Sunday afternoon and played with Jade, her beautiful granddaughter. ‘Come on’ she says and ‘wee wee’ quite a lot too. We watched her fall asleep as she ran and leapt and dozed in snores within seconds of being wide-eyed.
Kerry’s dad passed away on Saturday night but Kerry and mum seem to be coping okay so far – a relief in some ways after many weeks of suffering.
I’m a bit down really, fed up with work and biting back at my baby at home. I don’t feel much in control of myself sometimes. I know all this so why don’t I do something about it! Hmph. Did much more in these five days but am unable to continue right now. Bye bye.
1994ever 