A little vague and blurry but positive. I feel like I could easily sleep if given the opportunity.
Despite being tired and hungry when I got home last night and then only a little to satisfy myself I found that I was still reading comics at 11.30 and then it took me a fair while to actually go to sleep.
The morning alarm was a bit of a shock and for a brief moment, I contemplated snoozing it but made it up instead.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finally being able to crack the last part of the song that I was struggling to complete on guitar.
The best thing about today was:
My small grade 10 class again today who were a pleasure to teach and just talk with in general as the topic was about relationships. My lesson was more focused on romantic relationships but many of the points cross over to any kind of relationship.
As the English level of most of the class is quite poor I depended on the two good speakers to help translate some points and I could see that they were all able to understand to one degree or another.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got a message today from Nancy about not signing out when leaving school, which I haven’t done for about 2 years now. She said ‘they’ would reduce my wages. If they reduce my wages anymore I’ll have to start paying them to work! She asked me to message Kru Tang, which I did and she asked me to sign out and I said that I would. She didn’t mention anything about reducing wages though. Let’s see what happens next month.
Something I learned today?
Last year the USA beat all previous records for sales of weapons to the rest of the world. When is the rest of the world going to wake up to the fact that the USA wants more war to make more money?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I was pleased to see a couple of my usually lazy students pushing themselves a little more today so I made sure to praise them with personal messages this evening.
I took these pictures, as I mentioned last week because Cap was sitting here but decided to get up as soon as I got down to take a picture of him, so I took this series as he walked towards me.
A little bit slow again but I was able to take it pretty easy with my classes today. I was still tired and hungry by the end of the work day though.
Today I’m grateful for:
The last bagel in the freezer that I ate for dinner. Thanks, Nut! It’s probably been in the freezer for more that six months already but, well, that’s what freezers are for, right!?
The best thing about today was:
Finding out that next week is Scout Week again. I initially cheered when David told me but then he reminded me that last year we ended up doing some silly useless tasks (that I decided to enjoy at the time).
Either way – it’s a whole week out of the classroom (again!)
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy called while I was at House saying that she would stay in the city as the new owners of the apartments that Mum sold were having a housewarming party. The plan was for me to pick her up after I finished work, we go home and then I bring her back to get the truck in the morning.
When I got there though Amy was still happily drinking and talking whilst I was tired and hungry and itching to get home. I stayed for a while but when Aun came back from work she offered to bring Amy home later and I quickly agreed that that was a good idea even though I would have to find my own food.
Of course, I could’ve just come straight home after work but I tried not to think about that.
Something I learned today?
Whilst watching Jerry Grey talking about the possibility of war between China and the USA he brought up a point that makes some sense, about who would fight for the USA in a conventional war.
This got me wondering about the fact that so many Americans are in debt and many are also homeless. Is this being done on purpose so that when a serious war might arise the military will be able to easily incentivise joining up as a way for citizens to get back into the black?
Could they be that cynical or is it my own cynical streak coming through?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
With writing up old things into this blog I’ve been talking online a little more often with Rich Levine and will also drop an email to Rob again at some point. He still doesn’t use much of this new-fangled technological stuff and only has email.
I did wait fairly patiently for Amy this afternoon. Was it a vile deed to leave when it became convenient? Perhaps, but hunger and tiredness can do that to a man.
My student Nudee stayed back in class after everyone had left and I saw that she was doing some of her own self study with a Kumon workbook. It looked like a very useful study aid for her and she said she has been using them for about three years to improve herself. Later she sent me a message that she had received a certificate from them for being in the top 5% of around 3000 students in Thailand. She was ecstatic and I told her I was proud of her too.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 9. Take More Risks. Don’t be such a wimp.
I think this one would be more appropriate for me ten years ago than today. Though ten years ago I was still big into risks – such as moving to a non-English speaking country to live. These days I’m not so big on the risk taking.
As the body’s inevitable decline edges ever closer I’m not so keen on taking physical risks though I suppose I might get further beyond that at some point and just think ‘fuck it’ such as sky diving when I’m 90 or something.
I suppose I still take some risks with money as I’m still investing in releasing records that I’m not certain I can sell. Those are low-level financial risks balanced by spiritual rewards. I’m not going to sink all my money into trying to make a business out of it now.
Amy is still considering the risk of opening a restaurant in Australia which would easily see us use up all our money and probably go into debt. I’m not so keen on this idea though I will happily support her because I think she could do it well. Whatever happened financially though, the stress levels of pursuing that dream might be enough to make me very unhappy. My mindset would probably change though once this plan was executed.
I guess I’m just happy with my life where it is right now and thinking that I would miss this. Once getting into the maelstrom of something though my survival instincts would likely kick in.
I took these pictures on Sunday because this is where I drove to so that Amy’s mum and dad could leave gifts and give thanks because they had come here before to ask for good luck to sell the apartments and within a month they had sold. I don’t know the reason that they came here or even why these monuments are located here, directly opposite a T-junction.
Don’t tell the Yanks that they’re not free That’s when they start killing you and me What a different world we might be living in If we had chatted over a nice cup of tea!
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good. I’ve called in sick to work so that I can go to the hospital to get my medicine this morning so I’m enjoying some Utopian coffees first.
Today I’m grateful for:
A quick stroll through the local walking street market with Amy to get some dinner. I picked up some of my favourite salad that I always bought when Amy wasn’t here and I haven’t had it again in the three months since she’s back.
The best thing about today was:
Getting in to see the doctor without an appointment and whilst waiting I needed to go to the bathroom and by the time I got back it was my turn to see him.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
At one point I was watching something on TV and Amy decided to start calling people on her phone. It was impossible for me to hear whilst she was chatting away. Never mind – guitar time! I headed off to my room to play.
Something I learned today?
My old student August (she who used to love dancing) told me of her interest in playing guitar last year. Today she sent me a video of her and a couple of guitar classmates performing (singing too!) outside Central Plaza. I was quite surprised and also jealous!
I wish I was young and unafraid like her. Learning something is easier when you are young and getting up in front of people isn’t so nerve-racking unless you are really shy.
Of course, I did that too when I was young. I guess I just want to be young!
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 8. Don’t Care About What People Think. We all die in the end, do you really think it matters what people think of you?
Kinda connected to what I wrote above, in many ways I’ve never cared what people thought of me unless I knew I was doing something wrong. When I reached about 16 or 17, something changed in that I lost a lot of self-confidence, though still sometimes ran on bravado, which never served me well. And from there it was an ever-decreasing circle. Somewhere along the way and slowly but surely I got some confidence back, especially when I started doing music-related things in Australia.
I’m reminded of one occasion when I was at the front of the crowd at Frequency Lab videoing Limited Express (has gone?)’s set. As there was no space between the audience and the band and only a one-step stage it meant being in the way of things a little.
Later, Dave Harris asked me about being there and I said ‘I didn’t care’ to which he was rather taken aback but I clarified that I meant that I didn’t care if I got pushed and shoved out of the way by the raging mosh pit around us all. Of course, most people will take care not to smash into people filming or taking photos and I would too, to a certain extent but ultimately if I had missed some shots or worse still, something got smashed then I would have had only myself to blame.
If people are not happy about something then they can say something.
This reminds me of another occasion when I was at the Big Day Out one time and a girl in a bikini top was on the shoulders of her boyfriend. This annoyed a few boys who were standing behind them but instead of moving somewhere else, where there was still plenty of room they thought it would be a good idea to pull on the strings of the bikini top to try and undo and embarrass the girl. On their second attempt, I stepped in and told them to move if they weren’t happy and they soon got the message.
Anyway, back to not caring what people think. Most of us will reach an age where this will just naturally happen and we’ll no longer much care. We get settled in our ways and remain the way we are. Some of us (myself included) will remain firm and polite in most situations whilst others will be curmudgeonly and unbending. I guess that depends on one’s character.
If I’m completely honest, there will still be some occasions when I will care what certain people think about me.
I took this picture because if you squint at these leaves they look like they have tiny lights at their centres.
A bit more lively than yesterday though I still fancy an afternoon nap. I’ve been the driver for the family today, to Chiang Saen, Mae Sai and Mae Chan.
Today I’m grateful for:
The candy seller at the market, where I found the candies that the stall has outside school and obviously at a better price. Whilst I picked out a few different bags she offered various others to try and taste. I was lucky that Amy found the noodles and mala sauce she wanted in this shop too so I snuck all my stuff in there for her to pay.
The best thing about today was:
Driving around, which made me think that I haven’t been up around the Chiang Saen, Chiang Khong area yet (on the motorbike) and it would be good for a nice laid-back ride sometime.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Whilst I was in my room playing guitar I was surprised to hear the sound of rain on the roof. I didn’t think too much of it though it was kind of unusual to have rain at this time of day, this time of year. But then I heard banging and the shade outside my window had fallen down and was now slamming against the wall. The rain had gotten heavier and suddenly the wind had picked up. Next came rumbles of thunder and everything got stronger. I went outside and Amy screamed as the roof on the entertainment area started banging again where it was broken in the summer storms last year. I ran to the garage and emptied the wheelbarrow already full of water from the leaking drain and found a bucket to put in the shed to catch the leaking in there too, though both of these were relatively useless in rain this heavy.
Something I learned today?
Amy has been watching these YouTube videos of two Korean boys travelling around Thailand and today I saw some pretty nice places in Isaan that they were visiting. It would be good to go there one day though I feel a lot of places in Thailand look the same everywhere. Jungles, rice fields, mountains, rivers and beaches. I’m still quite smitten with it all though.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Driving the family around wherever they directed me and even though sometimes they confused me with their directions, I carried on without complaint.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 7. Be Grateful. Say thank you to everyone and everything “Thank you for this beautiful day.” “Thank you for your email.” “Thank you for being there for me.”
The longer I keep practising being grateful the more I’ve realised there is to be grateful for. Sometimes I struggle to find something new to be grateful for, especially if I haven’t been doing much but I usually come up with something. I’m not sure how many years I’ve been doing it now but I think I started sometime in 2020 and managed to do it pretty much every day since.
I’ve mentioned in the past that Thai people don’t often say thank you in a shopping situation and it’s quite a cultural norm. I can’t help myself though, it’s just ingrained since childhood to say please and thank you.
I took this picture because these kitties, along with two more inside, were surveying the surrounds from this second-floor vantage point as I pulled up at Utopia this morning.
Always the winner, always on top The sun shines from their behind If outsiders looking in would ever stop The legend would be hard to find
Because they suffered just like us Made many mistakes along the road But when life threw them under the bus Determination is what they showed
So the legend came to be on the lips Of those who needed inspiration And everybody followed the tips For the legends in preparation
Today I’m feeling:
Slooooow to go. Turned off my alarm when it went off and enjoyed a delirious sleep, probably aided by a couple of drops of cannabutter last night which also made me enjoy some guitaring that flew by in a couple of hours. My thought to exercise a little on waking at the weekend didn’t come to fruition but I guess I have to listen to my body sometimes.
Today I’m grateful for:
Nick at Utopia for not only giving me credit today (run out of money!) but making me two fantastic coffees with perfect texture for me.
The best thing about today was:
Despite just wanting to stay home all day when Amy suggested going to Oshinei for lunch I initially said no but quickly changed my mind and I’m glad we got out and enjoyed some food at a two-for-one discount. I was still tired and not really thinking about anything much but just enjoying the moment.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
After lunch I tried to resist the afternoon nap for as long as I could by reading, finishing the first chapter of the Decline and Fall of the British Empire and then a couple of comics before finally giving in and accepting my fate. It was an enjoyable nap though.
I took this picture because Cap was sitting on the cushion by the bookshelves when I got home yesterday, though he got up as soon as I laid down to take pictures.
A bit more awake this morning after struggling to get up. I really wanted to sleep more. I noticed that my stomach has lost a little more excess flab so I’m happy about that. Keep going.
Today I’m grateful for:
The receptionist at the dental clinic who happily changed my dental appointment from next week to mid-February because, and I told her this, I don’t have any money to pay until I paid again. We both talked in a mixture of English and Thai and could understand each other clearly and I wai’d her my thanks as I left.
The best thing about today was:
…well, it seems strange to call this the best thing but it is certainly something that stands out.
For my last grade 7 class of the day, I asked the kids to log in to the Quiz on their phones. Aomsin, who was sitting right in front of me in the front row, said she couldn’t because she had no battery. I explained to her in English that I told the class many times that for my class they must always have enough battery and good internet access.
Aomsin’s English is not that good yet though and whilst she could tell that I was being serious she clearly did not understand the details. This was Friday afternoon, the last hours of the day and I was feeling laid back and playful. The other kids could sense that. I told her that I take away 5 points in the system if they are not prepared. I was smiling and had no intention to do that but wanted her to know that she should always be prepared.
Anyway, I translated into Thai for her so she could understand and she nodded and looked down at her phone. Gunn, sitting next to her, looked at me, looked at her and then looked at me again. Aomsin then started talking in Thai, sounding like complaining-explaining and looked back up to me, with a slightly pleading face and then I saw a tear fall down each of her cheeks.
I couldn’t believe it. I wiped away each tear and said ‘Hey, come on, it’s not that serious.’ Again, she didn’t quite get it. I comforted her and told her in Thai that I was only playing with her.
Gunn cracked up laughing at her but I wanted her to feel better. Then she started really balling her eyes out but also laughing at the same time. Laughing and crying at herself and her friends. It was like she really wanted to feel an emotion deeply but also realised how absurd it was. She was smiling and laughing but couldn’t stop herself from crying.
Other kids started paying attention and couldn’t understand why everyone looked happy and smiling but Aomsin was crying. Gunn quickly offered a solution with his charger (why didn’t she just ask him to borrow it in the first place!) and even that couldn’t settle her down. Gunn talked some more to her and I went and attended a couple of other students before coming back after a few minutes.
She had settled herself by this time but when I asked her to do the quiz she said she couldn’t yet. I got down on my knees and wai’d her my apologies many times over and both she and Gunn cracked up laughing again.
I guess it’s a good lesson for me that not everyone gets the vibe or feeling of the class and whilst I can be quite strict about what I want I’m not so often angry about anything. I can sense Aomsin is sensitive, not just in my class but in general and I should be aware of that and make sure that she understands when something is playful or serious. I could be wrong but I don’t think she was really upset with what happened and maybe there were other things going on for her and she was having a bad day and this just tipped her over the edge.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
After picking up my coffee and making sure to be back in school for first class I was wondering why the building was so quiet. No kids! What’s going on? You can read more below. How did I handle it? By taking the free time opportunity to write here.
Something I learned today?
This morning my first class was delayed as there was something going on. As I was in the classroom ready to teach I decided to go and find out what it was all about. It was about the upcoming election for a student to the school board.
I walked around and ended up talking with Jet and asked her who she would vote for and why. I then asked if she would want to run for election when she was in grade 11 and she said ‘Why would I want to do that!?’
Ok, I said, who do you think in your class would be suitable and she thought Anchan. She said Anchan is a little older than the rest of the class and can control them quite well. I wasn’t too surprised at this as I could see last year that she had some leadership qualities if she chose to go in that direction. It was interesting to hear this from another student though.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent Anchan a positive message based on what Jet had said above, to show my support and pride in her. I told her to keep going. (Just as I told myself this morning – keep going!)
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 6. Keep a Journal. No, keeping a journal is not for children. It helps you to become a better thinker and writer. “I don’t want to be a writer” you might think. Well, how many emails and texts do you send a day? Everybody is a writer.
Journaling has only become a habit since moving to Thailand and somewhat inspired by starting 1994ever to document my year in 1994. Because I have ended up with fewer external things to do I have had more time to develop this habit and it doesn’t feel like a chore like when I was a teenager trying to keep up a diary. As the idea states you become a better thinker and that is what I want to be. Yesterday’s idea was about strengthening the body through exercise, today is about strengthening the brain through journaling.
I took this picture because we had to cut our three big trees down as the roots would fuck up the buildings. It looks so strange and we’re a little sad because they were big healthy trees that gave a lot of shade.
When you are walking towards your maker Be prepared with the biggest machine gun Point it right between their eyes And ask them first, ‘What have I done?’
Ask your questions, demanding proof Let there be no pulling of the leg Your maker may only pronounce the truth ‘What came first, the chicken or the egg?’
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good but a little tired despite sleeping quite well.
I can feel my muscles aching from the exercising that I’ve been doing. Not just aching but feels like them splitting and dividing under my skin. It’s a tolerable pain that indicates growth, at least to my monkey brain. It doesn’t feel like an injury though my right shoulder is still definitely injured. I need to find some exercises where I can still use my arms and chest without injuring the shoulder further. I adapted my normal arms workout this morning to compensate and that went ok.
Today I’m grateful for:
Bronwyn sending me some old photos of me, my mum and my dad. These are pictures that my mum had and I had seen from time to time in my youth.
They were passed onto Bronwyn to leave for Hayden in the future but I’m glad to see them again.
I also found out that there was a book that my mum wrote quotes and poetry in and I’m interested to see that at some point.
The best thing about today was:
Teaching the new grade 10 class and describing what would happen in real life if they failed to do the work that they are employed to do, just as some students did last week for my class work when I wasn’t there and assigned them something to do in my absence.
I described our classroom as the place of employment, myself as the boss and them as the employees. I showed them on the board that I was promoting some of my employees and demoting others and that in our classroom this would be indicated by grades.
Everyone started at grade 2 (in the middle) but the students who did my work are now at grade 3 whilst those that didn’t are now at grade 1. This certainly got everyone’s attention. I told them that in a real-life work situation, they would likely no longer have a job!
I really enjoyed explaining this and I could see the satisfaction on the newly promoted students faces. All they had to do was what was asked and they’ve been rewarded. I feel like there was some real learning happening and it made me happy to see. I kept the mood light throughout all this but they understood the ramifications of their actions.
In the second act of synchronicity for the day, I read this in an online newsletter and messaged the class to discuss its meaning:
“’I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday’”
Even writing this is making me feel somewhat smug! Haha.
Something I learned today?
There’s an ant species that’s unique to New York City, known as the ManhattAnt.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I’ve been trying to get Baipad to describe her own personality to me because she described her cousin’s personality as similar to her own but she could only answer with ‘you already know.’ I tried to explain that we see ourselves differently from how others see us.
This morning I sat down with her and Jan, with Apple sitting opposite and I said, ‘Come on, let’s play a game. Here’s a list of adjectives, pick ten that describe Apple and we had fun doing that for ten minutes. As I left I told them that tomorrow we will do the same for Jan. And at the weekend I will ask Baipad again to see if she can answer for herself.
I sat with one of my poor grade 7 students (Nut) in class this morning and helped her a lot with trying to understand the text we were reading and how to answer the questions. Some days she is ok to accept my help and today was one of those. When I went to help others she pulled me back to finishing helping her first. I was glad to see this and I think she was glad of my help. She will never be a great English speaker but she is doing all that I ask of her.
I sent a message to JubJib reminding her that perfection is a myth. She happily admits to requiring perfection from herself.
What do I need to embrace about myself?
I’ve become more accepting of my own foibles as I’ve aged. As a sign of maturity, I don’t tend to do things that I wish I hadn’t any more. I’m equating embracing and acceptance here but they feel quite comparable at this age. I am happy with myself and understand myself very well. I know my weaknesses and attempt to improve them slowly without punishing myself.
Where do I hope to be one year from now?
This is an interesting question for me this time as I feel a little in limbo. I am very happy where I am but also considering where do I go from here?
I could quite comfortably maintain my life the way it is. I have no real goals to aim for these days, just continuous improvement. This feels possible due to stability and not having to deal with other stresses that come with the pursuit of new things.
In this way, I’m quite happy to defer to Amy’s ideas about what she wants in the future. That may be a big shock when it comes time for action though, this I know.
Should I have a specific goal for this coming year? I don’t feel particularly ambitious.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 5. Exercise Daily. I didn’t get this until recently. A healthy body is where you have to start everything in life. If you can’t build a healthy and strong body, what CAN you build in life?
I was quite athletic as a child, particularly loving football but once I discovered booze and cigarettes that all slowly went downhill.
Since finally being mostly free of those vices I have started exercising and by doing it first thing in the morning I’ve been able to slowly introduce and lengthen the time spent doing it as I also slowly started to feel the benefits.
Previously I would consistently make the mistake of overdoing the exercise when I would feel the need to get back into it. It’s a mistake probably 80% of us make.
But as I was reading more about developing habits and starting small and as I’ve been teaching my kids about doing things little by little, that idea has slowly slipped into my own brain to find a better way.
Perhaps when I was younger I didn’t want to admit that I was aging. As it took many years to develop this beer belly I’ve accepted that it will take many years to lose it too.
Again, as synchronicity goes, I also just read this:
“The key to exercising regularly, losing weight, being more productive, and achieving success is understanding how habits work.” – Charles Duhigg
I took this picture last week because I was fascinated by the symmetry of this freshly sprouted pineapple. No new pictures today.
The art of war is a lesson in peace The politics of life to make the violence cease The finest swords will all eventually rust To build a legion is to gain their trust
Today I’m feeling:
Happy and positive though I have a nagging tiredness throughout my body. This could possibly be from pushing myself too much with exercise but the benefits of it outweigh this. Some of the things going on in the family are getting me down a little. This is connected with cultural differences but it’s hard not to judge a situation when something is so clearly unfair. No details to share here as yet. Perhaps if and when the situation resolves or is in the past.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finding the candy lady outside of school. Miyor and KhaoFang were walking around the park after classes and I bumped into them and they offered me a bag of candy of a type that I’d never seen before. I took one and it was tasty so I asked where they got them and they pointed to one of the stalls so I went to investigate and there was a cornucopia there! It was also a pick and mix so I picked out a couple of each to try the range. I didn’t eat any yet – I’m saving them for the weekend.
I was laughing to myself today about it because it feels just like when I was at school as a teenager. I always skipped lunch, saving my money to buy records instead. Then I would scrounge pennies off friends and buy candy from the van that pulled up in the playground every lunchtime.
The best thing about today was:
Getting my work permit so quickly sorted that I had time to grab another coffee before my class started. I guess it doesn’t take long when you’re handing over 6,000 baht.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
After making copies of my work permit I headed over to the office. It was only while I was there that I discovered that I have to fill out the visa application and pay another 2,000 baht for the visa when I take it to immigration next week. I thought that whole process was already done when I was at immigration at the end of last year but it seems that I was just on a bridging visa. Amy was not impressed to hear this, especially as I don’t even have 2,000 baht left this month.
Something I learned today?
This evening I found out that the 6,000 baht will get refunded next month. Woohoo!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sat and helped a couple of students again, taking the time to work with them and encourage them.
Every morning now, when I arrive at school, I join Baipad, Jan and Apple and talk with them for a few minutes. Sometimes it’s a struggle to get them to look away from their phones but slowly they are opening up and chatting a little bit. I can especially feel that Apple is more relaxed now to speak English.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 4. Don’t Start A Relationship If You’re Not in Love. I’ve done this more than once. You kind of like someone and think: “We might as well give it a shot.” Not a good idea. You’re either in love, or you are not. Don’t fool yourself. It’s not fair to you and the other person.
The difficulty with this is when growing up and learning about love. Our societies don’t emotionally prepare us as children for the consequences of love. It’s quite noticeable here in Chiang Rai, Thailand that a fair percentage of teenagers are not so much into the idea of romantic relationships yet. They might have urges and desires but many are still learning about how to make good friendships amongst themselves. I used to think that this was somewhat of a downside to the kid’s development and that they were growing up too slowly but now I see it as a benefit. In the West we are not aware of all the privileges that we have just by circumstance, to be able to grow up so quickly, whether mature or not.
In my own experience, I thought I was in love many times as a teenager but I was just in love with the idea of love, without knowing what it really was. My first relationships were rough on my partners as I had no clue how to treat them, having been told through society that chocolates and flowers could fix anything. It wasn’t until my mid-20s, meeting Bronwyn that I first felt what I consider to be true love. And then even that was not enough to keep us together.
It’s way too easy to say ‘Don’t fool yourself.’ We fool ourselves all the time without knowing. We do have to go through the process – love, lose and learn. Not many people get things right the first time.
Now I try to teach my students to guard themselves somewhat, to protect themselves from the huge emotional twists and turns of young love. When they break up, to encourage them not to dwell on something that wasn’t meant to be. To stop feeling like it is the end of the world. But I know, it feels just like that and words are sometimes little comfort.
I took this picture because this is an unusual sight, to find both our cats sitting on the same mat like this.
Good and positive again. I can feel that I have a better attitude and more energy in the days that I exercise in the morning and that I should also force myself to do this on weekends and holidays as I often just fall into laziness then.
Today I’m grateful for:
The little female (age indefinable) petrol pump assistant who double-checked what I wanted and then, after filling the car, gave me two bottles of water. She tried to explain about the water but I didn’t understand. I just assumed that they were free!
The best thing about today was:
Taking time with a couple of my troublesome students this afternoon and helping them get a better idea of a grammar point. I felt relief and joy when they started getting the answers right by themselves. I even managed to get a smile out of one of them.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My first class today with grade 8s was a little wearisome. Some days it feels like they just insist on not learning. I stayed relatively calm but inside I feel a little tired and deflated from it.
Something I learned today?
The single most expensive item for the British in the American Civil War was rum.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
We went to the temple again for some follow-up Buddhist things for Grandmum. I did as was directed though wasn’t sure about any of what was happening. In the end, we served monks food and everyone (except me) at lunch too.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO 3. Spend Time with People You Love. That’s your family and best friends. If you don’t have a family, create one. Most people in life are only visitors. Family is for life.
My tribe is my family these days. I’m not particularly close to anyone except for Amy and I’m fine with that. If I ever need to make new relationships they will come naturally from within my tribe.
The internet definitely has made things easier to stay in contact with my tribe, who are scattered all around the world.
Whilst the ease of communication keeps us together, our tribe survives apart.
We put down our brushes In search of gold stars Our stick figures meaningless If we can’t get a pass
Our caves are now bare Or full of the perceived good Those words we told ourselves Have taken away our ‘could’
No teacher or priest were we But everyone laughed Still, we lighted a spark And cultivated our craft
Inspired by a newsletter snippet titled ‘Why you stopped making art’ from David Elikwu. Added to dVerse here.
Today I’m feeling:
A little more awake and active than yesterday. Feeling fairly positive but also a little anxious as if something might come along to get me down. On the edge.
Today I’m grateful for:
All the different options available for muesli to buy. I was disappointed to not find my favourite crunchy strawberry muesli today but at least there were lots of different options available, though somewhat more pricey. I took a mid-range option but contemplated some of the others for when I’m back in the black.
The best thing about today was:
Being able to take the foot off the gas a little with my classes today and stretch out the work so that they had more time to contemplate, share with each other and understand in their own time. Sometimes I expect and push too much so I wanted to make life a little easier for us all.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I made a trip to Makro because I ran out of yoghurt this morning but was disappointed to find they were out of stock. I had to buy a different brand to last for a few days before going back to check again. I sure hope they continue stocking it because it’s the best!
Something I learned today?
This journalling app is trolling me. It’s been 22 days of prompts so far of ‘What is something something something this year?’ Just because the calendar starts on the first of January a year is still a year from NOW, whatever the date. Why do I have to spend a month thinking about 2024? I’m always thinking about the future. I guess journal prompts do get repetitive anyway but I find this one particularly annoying.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I gave Noah some extra support and encouragement for her negative attitude towards Teacher David. She needs to stay respectful and at least learn from her experiences even if she’s not learning English.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO 2. Don’t Complain. Complaining is the biggest waste of time there is. Either do something about it, and if you can’t, shut up about it.
This is something I have gotten better at over the years. Being English it’s an extremely hard habit to break. Moving to Australia in 1994 certainly helped as Aussies generally don’t put up with the stereotypical whinging poms. I don’t remember ever being called out on it but I think their positivity rubbed off on me in general and the fact that there was certainly less to complain about in life in Australia, or at least it certainly seemed that way.
When I meet English people now though I find their complaining quite noticeable and can also fall right back into it myself. It’s like a common bond we share. Because I’m conscious of it though I do try to stop myself and counter any complaining with a positive view in response.
Yes, life is not all chocolates and roses but there’s no need to go on about it. In fact, there’s no need to say anything. Even if you are still thinking it, just keep your mouth shut.
I took this picture because I love to see freshly planted rice paddies like this. This is from Saturday – no new pictures today.
1994ever 