Dodging A Bullet – 15th May 2024

Never not the same, always
The same, the stubborn stays
Beating chests, off with the shirt!
Myself may be all I hurt

A little bit unusual, quirks
Quietly, and in the corner lurks
Watching, loving the success
At being the worst, being the best

A screw-up, never succeeded
At joining in, as normal receded
Into the dark, I remained on my feet
Offbeat, walking my own street

Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – Offbeat (hence making the phrasing a little off!) and inspired by another entry there from A.M. Moscoso

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Today I’m feeling:

A bit better again today, maybe at 85%.  Struggled getting to sleep last night, maybe because I had slept so much the day before, thinking about classes and students and how things slowly change.  I miss all my students in one way or another.

Today I’m grateful for:

Firstly, to the uni students at the PTT station who tried to help me put air in my bike tyres.  Unfortunately, I think I fucked the tube by riding it there in the first place so nothing worked for it.

Secondly, to dependable 100-year-old uncle who replaced the tube for me, jabbering away at me about things, indicating that the tyre on the bike is too small.  I didn’t want to remind him that it was him that put it on there!  He also said that he could replace the starter battery but I told that that would have to wait until next month when I have more money.

Talking of which, the SpeechOdd/High Voltage records are due to be sent to me from the factory in Taiwan and I’m hoping not to get hit with too much customs tax.  I also still have to pay for the cover printing too.

The best thing about today was:

There was a very good atmosphere around the school today for the last day before cracking down to studies.  

Even though I could’ve gone home at 9 am I went to the cafe until midday doing some writing and lessons and then went back to school where I was greeted by students everywhere I went, I guess as I know many different students from grades 8 to 12 now.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It was an ominous sign when arriving home to see two trucks from our internet provider out on the road and sure enough, there’s been no internet at home again since the afternoon.  

Time to read or catch up on other things instead.

Something I learned today?

A jiffy is an actual unit of time, defined as 1/100th of a second.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I met Fui by chance at House this morning and he told me about a school in Bangkok that his son passed the exam to enter so I got the details and passed them onto Anchan.  She would have lots of hurdles to face to pursue this option but at least she can be armed with information.

I complimented Kru Mai on his outrageous shirt today!

What emotions do I feel when I think about my future?

At the moment I feel pretty calm even though the future is uncertain about which direction it may go.  I’m calm because I think I can deal with it whatever happens.

These days I get more stressed and disconsolate when I think about the futures for my students.  I was thinking about this when I was talking to Fui today in connection with Anchan.  A smart kid who knows that she needs to get out from where she is to improve her future but can’t afford to.

When you are struggling to afford new uniforms or lunch day to day, you can’t even consider going to Bangkok to take a free entrance exam for a better school (and think about even cheap fees and cheap accommodation – anything above 0 baht is out of reach.)