A little vague and blurry but positive. I feel like I could easily sleep if given the opportunity.
Despite being tired and hungry when I got home last night and then only a little to satisfy myself I found that I was still reading comics at 11.30 and then it took me a fair while to actually go to sleep.
The morning alarm was a bit of a shock and for a brief moment, I contemplated snoozing it but made it up instead.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finally being able to crack the last part of the song that I was struggling to complete on guitar.
The best thing about today was:
My small grade 10 class again today who were a pleasure to teach and just talk with in general as the topic was about relationships. My lesson was more focused on romantic relationships but many of the points cross over to any kind of relationship.
As the English level of most of the class is quite poor I depended on the two good speakers to help translate some points and I could see that they were all able to understand to one degree or another.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got a message today from Nancy about not signing out when leaving school, which I haven’t done for about 2 years now. She said ‘they’ would reduce my wages. If they reduce my wages anymore I’ll have to start paying them to work! She asked me to message Kru Tang, which I did and she asked me to sign out and I said that I would. She didn’t mention anything about reducing wages though. Let’s see what happens next month.
Something I learned today?
Last year the USA beat all previous records for sales of weapons to the rest of the world. When is the rest of the world going to wake up to the fact that the USA wants more war to make more money?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I was pleased to see a couple of my usually lazy students pushing themselves a little more today so I made sure to praise them with personal messages this evening.
I took these pictures, as I mentioned last week because Cap was sitting here but decided to get up as soon as I got down to take a picture of him, so I took this series as he walked towards me.
A little bit slow again but I was able to take it pretty easy with my classes today. I was still tired and hungry by the end of the work day though.
Today I’m grateful for:
The last bagel in the freezer that I ate for dinner. Thanks, Nut! It’s probably been in the freezer for more that six months already but, well, that’s what freezers are for, right!?
The best thing about today was:
Finding out that next week is Scout Week again. I initially cheered when David told me but then he reminded me that last year we ended up doing some silly useless tasks (that I decided to enjoy at the time).
Either way – it’s a whole week out of the classroom (again!)
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy called while I was at House saying that she would stay in the city as the new owners of the apartments that Mum sold were having a housewarming party. The plan was for me to pick her up after I finished work, we go home and then I bring her back to get the truck in the morning.
When I got there though Amy was still happily drinking and talking whilst I was tired and hungry and itching to get home. I stayed for a while but when Aun came back from work she offered to bring Amy home later and I quickly agreed that that was a good idea even though I would have to find my own food.
Of course, I could’ve just come straight home after work but I tried not to think about that.
Something I learned today?
Whilst watching Jerry Grey talking about the possibility of war between China and the USA he brought up a point that makes some sense, about who would fight for the USA in a conventional war.
This got me wondering about the fact that so many Americans are in debt and many are also homeless. Is this being done on purpose so that when a serious war might arise the military will be able to easily incentivise joining up as a way for citizens to get back into the black?
Could they be that cynical or is it my own cynical streak coming through?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
With writing up old things into this blog I’ve been talking online a little more often with Rich Levine and will also drop an email to Rob again at some point. He still doesn’t use much of this new-fangled technological stuff and only has email.
I did wait fairly patiently for Amy this afternoon. Was it a vile deed to leave when it became convenient? Perhaps, but hunger and tiredness can do that to a man.
My student Nudee stayed back in class after everyone had left and I saw that she was doing some of her own self study with a Kumon workbook. It looked like a very useful study aid for her and she said she has been using them for about three years to improve herself. Later she sent me a message that she had received a certificate from them for being in the top 5% of around 3000 students in Thailand. She was ecstatic and I told her I was proud of her too.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 9. Take More Risks. Don’t be such a wimp.
I think this one would be more appropriate for me ten years ago than today. Though ten years ago I was still big into risks – such as moving to a non-English speaking country to live. These days I’m not so big on the risk taking.
As the body’s inevitable decline edges ever closer I’m not so keen on taking physical risks though I suppose I might get further beyond that at some point and just think ‘fuck it’ such as sky diving when I’m 90 or something.
I suppose I still take some risks with money as I’m still investing in releasing records that I’m not certain I can sell. Those are low-level financial risks balanced by spiritual rewards. I’m not going to sink all my money into trying to make a business out of it now.
Amy is still considering the risk of opening a restaurant in Australia which would easily see us use up all our money and probably go into debt. I’m not so keen on this idea though I will happily support her because I think she could do it well. Whatever happened financially though, the stress levels of pursuing that dream might be enough to make me very unhappy. My mindset would probably change though once this plan was executed.
I guess I’m just happy with my life where it is right now and thinking that I would miss this. Once getting into the maelstrom of something though my survival instincts would likely kick in.
I took these pictures on Sunday because this is where I drove to so that Amy’s mum and dad could leave gifts and give thanks because they had come here before to ask for good luck to sell the apartments and within a month they had sold. I don’t know the reason that they came here or even why these monuments are located here, directly opposite a T-junction.
There’s a honey latte running through her head So sweet and milky, her memory a thread Not knowing the day, she ventures to the city Things she thought she knew shined so pretty
Alone, together, the hands are like ghosts Long gone now, sailed to separate coasts Eyeing the barista, nails polished black A laptop hipster, personified slack
She’s a wanna-be adult, yet still sixteen Smart and serious but remains unseen Loving the self-loathing, when will she arrive? Only when she realises she’s always been alive
Wishing for the future and suddenly it’s gone Standing in the middle of what she wanted for so long Nothing left to prove, no longer the impostor Discounted all the time that getting here cost her
Here’s to the memory, the empty honey cup Close the cafe door, breathe til she’s full up Treading familiar sidewalks always reveals the change Yesterday, today and tomorrow always seem so strange
A little tired with a headache and cough again. I didn’t sleep well due to discomfort in my shoulders. I woke up and exercised and felt good for that but my eyes are aching again.
I wondered if part of the problem was connected to the air quality so I checked on the AirVisual app and saw that the quality is already poor and approaching dangerous. Amy has also suddenly got her cough and runny nose back. We will put the air filter in the bedroom tonight.
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to get paid a little money this month at least. Nancy has figured out some trickery so that I won’t starve just yet.
The best thing about today was:
Finding out that all classes are reduced to 50 minutes for December as kids go off for sports practice at the end of each day. There are also three days off this month. Great.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When I got to House I was hanging for coffee but Gui’s machine was broken. I stayed a while doing some lesson checking and planning but couldn’t wait in the end and went around to Hobby coffee and I don’t know if it was just the wait but the first cup I got there tasted of delicious honey. I took a second cup back to school and carried on planning.
Something I learned today?
My old student Fah, who was always a bit of a handful but I was drawn to her because she reminded me of me when I was her age, got kicked out of school last semester due to lack of attendance, work, care etc. I wondered why I hadn’t seen her for a while.
Apparently, she has become even worse since, though she is supposed to be studying at another school.
I think she felt an affinity with me, maybe because I never gave her too much of a hard time and encouraged her more than berated her, every time she saw me, without fail she would give me a big hug.
I hope she makes it out there.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent Nong Fah (Sonsawan) an encouraging message to keep going with English in the future, using Amy’s story as evidence.
I helped fix many students’ microphone access so that they could read my work today. I’ve managed to figure out on most phones how to change the setting’s language to English and from there allow them microphone access.
When one of my students accidentally mixed up their words today and asked me if I was studying instead of if I was teaching, I told them ‘Yes, I’m always learning!’
I finally got to congratulate Funfai in person and she is very proud of herself for winning four trophies.
Despite being tired and wanting to get home I stayed and played Uno with Kru Ren, Jet, Noah, Lin and Mai after my class had finished and somehow the kids conspired to make sure that the teachers didn’t win. It was a lot of fun.
I gave my last candies to two of my laziest students, trying to buy their attention for our next class!
Rista asked if we could make Christmas cards in our class again like we did last year. Well, I don’t see why not?
I took this picture because as Tonaor and Nicha were on their way to their next class they suddenly shouted out ‘selfie’ and this was the result. I’d forgotten about it until now.
Relaxed and a little sad. Most of my relationships now have been formed around my students and I know that I will miss them during the holidays. Some students feel the same, not necessarily about me but about not being able to meet their friends often. But it is also great to have a break from it all too and I’m starting to look forward to going to Australia.
Today I’m grateful for:
Nong Gam for putting a frangipani behind my ear, giving me a hug and saying she will miss me in the holiday. I have appreciated her efforts to improve her English this semester and she has appreciated the time I spent to help her.
The best thing about today was:
Little Nicha wrote a very sweet message for me in the Quizizz I gave her class today. Along the lines of ‘Thank you to help me learn more when I am struggling and for comforting me when I was sad.’ I’m tearing up a little just writing it!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I had psyched myself up to stay at school and play a little tennis with Funfai before her coaching but it had rained a lot during the afternoon and I wasn’t sure if she would still go. She said she wanted to and the rain had cleared so I waited around playing volleyball with a bunch of other kids. But then more rain came and I gave up and we agreed to try again next semester when there will be less rain.
So, it was annoying that I stayed around when I could’ve gone home quicker but I still enjoyed the time hanging out with different students.
Something I learned today?
Last night I was following up on the drama at school with Feije and asked Nong Fah what was the story. She told me a little and it was a totally new story to the one from the day before!
When I asked Fah what she thought about the events she said she didn’t know, much like when I asked her before what was up with Feije recently. I then realised that she was being typically Thai-style diplomatic and didn’t want to say anything bad about someone else.
I found this kind of endearing but also frustrating in that it’s difficult to know how people really feel about things in Thai culture.
Either way, it was an interesting learning experience for me to see how some cultural norms are here through the lens of my students.
Also in relation to yesterday, the student having trouble with his friends messaged me saying he stopped being friends with them because they were punching him. I told him that friends don’t do that and that he can tell me if they keep bullying him. He said that it was okay because he didn’t want to cause any trouble. I told him that I understood but that I was there if he needed me.
I thought that this was a kind of Thai attitude but now I’m writing more I guess this is how many kids deal with being bullied anywhere in the world.
What changes did I experience this past month?
This feels a little difficult to contemplate these days. Things are changing a lot more slowly than previously and are less noticeable. I guess that as it’s gotten to the end of September I’m starting to feel a little excitement about going to Australia, as I will leave in ten days time.
Also as the month has gone on and the holiday approached, I’ve felt a gradual winding down and relaxation in the classroom.
I took this picture because I have no new pictures today so scouted around the house for something interesting. These cats are part of a set of 5. The picture behind is from a long time back as I was still dying my hair black then. I think it’s from a trip to somewhere in Thailand.
Just wait a minute, slow it down You can’t see the trouble brewing The choices made are pure emotion And you don’t know what you are doing
Wait a minute, test the waters Before the wave crashes and breaks You’re rushing headlong into trouble And the pain of those mistakes
Wait a minute, use your brain Look at the direction you are going Don’t brush off the wiser words Thinking you’ve done all the knowing
Wait a minute before you decide To step into the fire and burn Live to fight another day With all the things you’ll learn
Wait a minute, take a breath Are you certain that you know it all? Is now the time to experience The depths to which you’ll fall?
Today I’m feeling:
Perhaps after yesterday’s prompt about dreams, I was very aware of the dream I was having this morning as my alarm went off. For some reason my thoughts and emotions were spiralling out of control and even as I was aware of it happening I couldn’t control it. Nong Fah was trying to comfort me in a kind of student/teacher role reversal, but it didn’t work.
This dream was based on events from yesterday when Spain was very emotional in class and couldn’t be consoled. He is on the spectrum as is said these days and was having a tough time.
Yesterday I also talked with Fah about not knowing why Feije was acting a bit of character recently because they seemed to have become more friendly.
I woke up feeling a bit stressed and disconsolate but soon got over it with exercise which got the blood pumping but I also had to push hard to motivate myself to complete.
At lunchtime, I found Fah and friends in the library and Feije’s expulsion was the main topic and then, lo and behold, she appeared. Everyone gathered around to get the gossip and I made myself scarce so the kids didn’t feel uncomfortable.
Today I’m grateful for:
Gui’s mum for giving me four or five custard apples from their tree outside the cafe. I was surprised and appreciative.
The best thing about today was:
Finishing all my grading files for my students and reflecting on how the semester has been. It is definitely an improvement on last year for me with fewer frustrations. As ever it is always enjoyable to watch these young people and their stories develop. I appreciate them very much and I feel as if some of them appreciate me in return.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
There was just one point where a couple of students pushed my patience. I knew they were excited for the holidays but I just wanted them to do a little work for me first. Despite their initial defiance, they could see that I was serious and begrudgingly came and did it. I’m glad they didn’t push it further.
Something I learned today?
In my grade 7 classes this week I’ve just been giving short gratitude quizzes asking three things. What they are grateful for, what they learned and if anything is upsetting them. That last question has proved to be the most interesting.
This afternoon one of the students, Film, said that they were worried about another student’s mental health. I looked around the room and that student did look troubled and flustered. I took Film aside and asked what had happened and he told me that the student’s two best friends had been bullying him.
Knowing all the students involved I was not too surprised to hear this.
I took the student off to the teacher’s room and reassured him that the bullies were showing their true colours and were not being good friends. I can see he wants to be good in class but gets roped into doing ‘bad’ things by his friends. I encouraged him and told him that there were other students in the classroom who were concerned and cared about him.
He had a little cry but seemed to understand and appreciate the support. My guess is that they will all be friends again by next semester and it will all be forgotten though I think it would benefit him to find new friends that treat him better.
28th Dec 2023 – Sure enough they are all good friends and thick as thieves again, though I can see the bullied one is a little more cautious now.
What’s my favourite thing to do when I’m feeling down?
These days I kinda know how to stop myself from feeling down but if I feel like I can get it under control I know that sleep often helps me. Another thing that helps is to just do something different. I have so many options available really and it could be something as simple as going for a walk.
I took this picture because Cap hasn’t come and sat next to me for a few months. It was nice to feel his fur on my skin but the temperature was damn hot and sticky already and he was adding to it. I don’t know when or how deeply he sleeps as he seems to move from place to place every five minutes.
Sometimes we play like children Before we remember who we are No more skipping along the road Or taking a joke too far Why blush embarrassed at the fun Of pretending to shoot an imaginary gun?
Now the world is our playground We’ve forgotten exactly how to play Life suddenly got so serious And we let it get in our way We removed ourselves from our dreams Made them into our children’s themes
Positive and energetic with any underlying feeling of tiredness just from exercise. Is it ironic that I’m feeling the best I have felt in a long time whilst Amy’s family is all struggling with their health and the stress that goes along with it?
Today I’m grateful for:
Finding a parking space outside the 7/11 next to the hospital as I had to go and wait with Amy’s dad whilst Amy’s mum went to grab some food and move her car. I bought a protein drink there to keep me going as I’m not sure when I’ll get home. I’m hungry after a long day.
The best thing about today was:
For my last class of the day, I gave the students a difficult listening and spelling test. I sat them apart and told them they couldn’t speak to each other. They had forty words to listen to and then spell. What made me happy was that all the students took it seriously and the ones who hadn’t been paying attention were being found out.
This was the real goal of the lesson. I don’t much care about the results of the test.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I knew that I would have to take Leo (Amy’s dad’s dog) for a walk after work and had built that into my thought schedule for the day, knowing that I would be tired as this is my busiest day of the week. During the morning I got a message from Amy that I was also needed after that at the hospital to relieve Amy’s mum for a while. Whilst not that unexpected it meant readjusting my mindset that now I wasn’t even sure when I might get home and to eat. Again, I submitted myself and got my mind straight about it. No point in being upset.
Something I learned today?
I learned the reason why China had to develop its own GPS system. In the mid-90s the USA declared a Chinese ship was delivering chemical agents for weaponisation to Iran, without any evidence at all. The USA forced the ship to stay at sea and demanded other countries refuse to let the ship dock. The Chinese offered for independent assessors to come and check the ship but the USA refused! Then they switched off GPS for the ship to use so the captain didn’t know where they were going. After 20 days the crew ran out of food and water until finally supplies were sent from one of the Gulf countries and it was allowed to dock. When the contents of the ship were checked it was all harmless as the Chinese had said. The issue of the USA’s ability to turn off GPS and later banning China from using the suddenly ill-named International Space Station pushed China to forge its own path ahead.
What are some of my strengths?
Patience, determination (when I care), perseverance, easy-going attitude.
At least that’s how see myself. I wonder what others might think my strengths are?
How do I find peace?
I think I found it by travelling a long way and forfeiting a lot of the things that previously brought me pleasure in a less peaceful world (big city rat race office job).
Making life a little less complex and being in an environment with fewer choices has made me more peaceful. If I had done this 10 or 20 years ago I think I would have felt more restless but right now it’s perfect.
Quote: Happiness is a virtue, not its reward – Baruch Spinoza
I didn’t understand this on first reading so shoved it into ChatGPT asking it to be explained to a twelve-year-old. Then I could make sense of it.
The point of this statement seems to fall into place with time and practice. I can recall times when I knowingly did good things for some vague notion of brownie points. Maybe by repeatedly doing things like that, I learned the habit of doing good things and in time my reasons for doing them became less contrived. I have become happier over time as I’ve matured.
I don’t believe in karma as such, in that I don’t believe that if I do something good then something good will happen to me, but that if I do something good it just makes me feel better. My karma is internalised rather than hoping for some kind of reciprocal external reward.
I took this picture because this was the result of trying to get excitable Leo onto his leash!
I know you’re sad and feeling upset And your anger is directed at me But I know you just don’t get it yet And one day you’ll eventually see
These growing pains are emotional times And you gather support for your cause But you’re still misreading all the signs And banging your head on closed doors
I hope the light will reveal the way Towards a path that’s free from pain There’s nothing now that I can say That you can understand when I explain
Take your bravado and all your bluster And point it in the right direction And all the learning you can muster Will offer you a lifelong protection
Today I’m feeling:
Better for a good sleep although it wasn’t long enough. I almost succumbed to the snooze but powered through and did my exercise. My busy day ahead, I need to relax into it.
Now I’m back at home and glad the workday is done. I did get home to discover one of our cats decided to use the lounge in the dining room as a toilet which stunk up the dining room. Thankfully it’s not so hot and humid now otherwise I might have been asphyxiated.
Today I’m grateful for:
The projector in our classroom that can share my computer screen for the class to see. Keep reading to find out why this is relevant today.
The best thing about today was:
Being able to keep myself under control despite a series of frustrating events throughout the day.
In my first class, three students didn’t show up and after about 10 minutes I got a message from one saying that they were helping another, Earn, to sort out a problem with her phone. I replied that Earn could sort it out by herself and they should come back to class. A reply came back that Earn doesn’t know how to ride a motorbike so they had to go together. The smell of bullshit was confirmed when I asked the rest of the class about this. I asked their homeroom teacher too and he said to deduct points from them in the system which I duly did. They complained to me later but I told them that their actions have consequences. It feels to me like they are not used to this in general.
In my next class, we don’t have a remote control for the projector and I just use a long stick to push the ‘on’ button. Sometimes I ask the students to do it for me and today I asked Opor. Somehow she had managed to swivel the projector around so it no longer pointed at the wall. I then took over to try and realign it. Now, I already knew that the projector was not quite secure up there as I had seen that there was a bolt missing to keep it slotted into the bracket. This wouldn’t normally matter so long as the projector wasn’t moved. And so…..
With a nudge and a push suddenly the projector slipped off and the wires pulled the cover off the cable concealer and the projector bounced off the table, luckily not injuring anyone.
Somehow it was still working and I quickly managed to rig it up by putting a chair on the table and the projector on a chair with a couple of books to angle it so the kids could still see. I later managed to get it back up onto the ceiling and wound a couple of paper clips through the bracket so that it shouldn’t fall again!
About an hour into the class, I realised one of the students wasn’t doing any work. All they had to do was copy what was showing on the board. He’s not the brightest kid but today really took the cake and it was so daft that I just had to laugh.
I asked him why he wasn’t doing anything. He told me he didn’t have a book. It then came out that not only didn’t he have a book but that he didn’t have anything! I asked what was in his bag that was next to his chair on the floor. He said he didn’t know! What? His friend then explained that somehow he had picked up someone else’s bag and presumably someone somewhere in the school had his!
I asked whose bag it was and again he said he didn’t know! I have no idea what he planned to do to find his bag later! I told him to look inside to find out who it belonged to which would at least give him a clue as to who might have his bag. FFS!
Ok. Enough of that nonsense. But wait… there’s more. I had warned two girls already about playing with their phones in class and had already taken them once but had to return to do the online quiz. The second time I took them and gave them to their homeroom teacher and told the kids they could ask her for them after class.
After class, they went to see her and she said they could have their phones back at the end of the day. They begged that they needed their phones to pay for lunch but the teacher told them to go away. Another student told me they were crying as they walked off.
I felt a little bad for them at that point but the longer I thought about it the better I felt about it as it was a good lesson for them and if they were really hungry they could probably get their friends to pay for them.
Knowing where they hang out I walked past them a bit later and they half-heartedly told me not to talk to them. When I asked what I did wrong they tried to blame me but they knew that they had done the wrong thing. They had accepted the result at this point and didn’t seem too upset in the end.
And…..in the library, some serious gossipy drama was going on between students in the M2 classes and though I couldn’t understand the details it seemed to be heavy teenage stuff. Apparently, they’re having trouble with a couple of other students and I advised them to just ignore it and avoid them if they can.
Then…. For my last class, I decided to sit one-on-one with each student and have them read the text that they had been familiarizing themselves with this week. Yesterday we went through the text and written on the board how to pronounce some difficult words using Thai phonetically.
But it soon became obvious that no one had bothered to help themselves by writing it down themselves! Instead of getting upset (although I was!) I used it as an opportunity to reiterate to them that they need to help themselves and I can’t just magic knowledge into their heads.
They got it. But they will need constant reminders.
I still love all these little rascals.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I guess all the above could apply here though I never really felt out of control. This at least shows some growth within myself.
Something I learned today?
There is now so much information casting doubt on the truth about the hijackers flying planes into the Twin Towers in New York that the whole thing is just making the USA look like a giant clown world. It seems best not to believe anything and not to think too much about it. Is this a sidestep on think global, act local and pushing everyone back towards think local, act local?
The world is a funny place and sometimes I want to switch it off.
What is one thing that I often take for granted in my life?
I answered a similar question to this recently. I take so much for granted really. I don’t have to worry about so many things that other people have to.
Electricity and water are always taken for granted (until that time I forgot to pay the bill!). I would totally have to change my life if either of those went missing for whatever reason.
Showing daily gratitude constantly reminds me of the situation I am in so even if I do take things for granted I can still put out to the world my appreciation.
How did I change today?
It’s appropriate that this question came up today and though my answer doesn’t actually show a change on this day it is the day that I noticed how I have changed in the last couple of years.
The day of challenges thrown at me (described above) would have been handled differently maybe even just one year ago.
I am comfortable where I am right now though I’m unsure if I can take this positive relaxed attitude into future stressful situations that may arise. Nothing to do except to find out.
BB took this picture because Khawhom (pictured) was using my phone to hotspot so I left it on her desk. BB was one of the students whose phone I had confiscated and she cheekily picked up my phone. I noticed and assumed that she was taking lots of pictures in a defiant amusing act of revenge but surprisingly this was the only one. It is also the only picture taken today.
Stairs never-ending Treading same old paths Hungrily ascending Reliving time-worn pasts Sun beats relentless As per the decades gone Head spun senseless Sisyphus is never done When was really my time? Did I ever really belong?
Today I’m feeling:
Ok so far, after invigorating exercise and a cold shower. Last night I set the aircon to turn off and despite waking up hot at some point, it wasn’t too uncomfortable. In the end though, I found myself waking up about 20 minutes before my alarm and thinking about Amy’s parents and what happens next and considering even longer term that if they are gone and if something happens to Amy too then who can I turn to for help?
My energy is starting to flag a little by this afternoon though I feel quite contented. I look forward to getting home and hopefully, I sleep well tonight.
Today I’m grateful for:
Getting home after a long-ish day. I’m tired and hungry though not grumpy. Not yet anyway. I picked up salad at the uni market, where I also bumped into Nong Na, and I’m savouring the prospect of eating it after a few minutes in the fridge to cool it down.
The best thing about today was:
Enjoying my grade 10 class as they struggled through taking notes on a phone call. Thankful for technology that allowed us to set up a group call that allowed myself and the best English-speaking student Toon to sit in the teacher’s room carrying out the conversation whilst everyone listened intently, or in bewilderment, on their phones.
Kru Nu came in at one point and sat smiling listening to us have the conversation. I hope the smile meant she was happy with my work and not a ‘what are you doing here’ ironic smile.
Anyway, most of the students struggled so much that in my break between classes I quickly wrote another conversation and found a video that they can also use for listening practice and we will do that tomorrow.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Despite feeling tired already during the morning, Amy had rung to ask me to drop by to see her mum and dad. With a busy day, it meant I would have to go after school finished, where I would have preferred just to get home quickly. I had already expected this call a little and of course, it would be the right thing to do considering the circumstances.
So I dropped by, breathing deeply, meditating my way through my lack of energy. They both appreciated my visit and I asked them about Leo, Dad’s dog, and took him for a walk. At least he was walking when I could shake him off my leg. He has sharp nails that scratched me even through my jeans and leaves a bad doggy smell that Tangmo was very curious about later when I got home.
I offered to come walk Leo anytime they wanted and to call me if they needed me to do anything. They seemed happy despite the situation. I guess we don’t know anything too much yet, just that they have found the cancer. Things may get more serious and sooner rather than later.
After getting home and feeding Tangmo a snack I stripped off my dog-smelly clothes straight into the washing machine and showered off any further lingering dog juices.
Something I learned today?
With talk of operations and chemotherapy Amy told me about how Thai people she knows who have suffered similar medical issues in Australia had to pay very little for treatment there if they were covered by Medicare. One girl even said that she would now be dead if it had happened in Thailand as she wouldn’t have been able to pay for the treatment. Another plus for Australia.
What do I enjoy most about my daily life?
Morning coffee, reading books, reading comics, listening to music, talking to my students, playing guitar, writing here, post-exercise cold showers.
Which do I enjoy the most? Why do I have to choose?
If it is something I most enjoy I would think I should do it more but I do these things just enough. If I did them more they may become less enjoyable.
I took this picture because we were taking Leo out for his walk. I want to say that is an excited look on Leo’s face and it may be, but that is also what he always looks like. Imagine just being constantly excited. It looks stressful!
The old man looks like his life has been lived The stories contained in the lines on his face No more want except a smile and a seat What would you want to be asked in his place?
picture found in a newsletter but I forget which one.
Today I’m feeling:
Positive but a little tired what with it being the end of the week. I sure don’t feel like Fridays are a big day to plan going out and getting drunk anymore. Get home and read a book. What a boring old man but I don’t care. I’ll do what I enjoy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The iron and ironing board that I have located in front of the lounge to inspire me to sit and iron the thirteen clean shirts here too. I’ll watch something interesting or listen to music to make the passing of that time more entertaining. Anyway, I’m grateful to own this equipment and that both the board and iron have served us well for more than five years already.
The best thing about today was:
As I was leaving after my first class this morning I went to see David who was preparing for his class with 2/6. I didn’t make it in to see him though as different groups of kids came to talk to me. Goya appeared in front of me holding the cutest tiny kitten and I immediately grabbed it for cuddles. I couldn’t quite get to the bottom of why she had a kitten in class and I reluctantly gave it back. Still grieving for Kim and our boys getting old, both Amy and I have told ourselves, no more cats but it’s hard to think about when there are unwanted kittens everywhere all the time. Caring for cats so much has tied us down a lot though. Today Amy said that if we didn’t have cats we would be living permanently back in Australia already. I’m finding that difficult to think about as I am feeling so contented here right now.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I had planned to spend my four free hours finishing off my grading files but when I tried to log in this morning our school was no longer listed in the system for some reason. I checked with another teacher and they had the same issue. It’s not like there was nothing else I could do in the meantime so it was only a minor annoyance and when I posted a message in our teacher’s group Kru Ren advised that the name of our school had changed for some reason and when I tried again I could get in. I updated all but one class and will get that one completed over the weekend. Bend with the breeze.
Something I learned today?
Amy messaged me that the face-tattooed German guy who ran the Bavarian bar in the city is now in a Bangkok jail and due to be deported back home to face murder charges from his time in a biker gang. I was not at all surprised by this news.
What am I looking forward to this month?
The end of it! The end of this semester and then preparing to go to Australia in October. I’m a bit tired today and started to feel a little wearisome to be teaching today though it’s enjoyable once I’m in class.
Kwang took this picture because I left my phone at my desk whilst I was helping other students. She is a smart independent tomboy, currently with a lackadaisical attitude towards studying. So long as she doesn’t go off the rails she’ll be good in the future. She also has a model-like face which she likes to hide with the mask and could be a child actor, model or somesuch. In comparison, this picture is not particularly flattering of me! Still need to work off some excess rolls of fat that accumulated during my prime years in Australia.
In the grip of insecurities She burned down the beautiful garden New seeds sprouted with maturity Reciprocated with a pardon The weight of regret, too much to bear One side of the story was hidden Until this heartache was repaired and Past indiscretions were forgiven
Susceptible to minor disruptions. I realise I’m tired this morning after less than 7 hours sleep but I felt pretty good driving to work and was happy to have a little funny conversation with my students Jan and Baipad before driving to House for coffee. At the school exit, I was careful when driving across the busy main road. A traffic cop was standing there and angrily (it probably wasn’t with anger but just clear gesticulation) waved me through even as a big truck was bearing down from the left. Somehow that really made me dark, though I really understood quickly what was happening in my head. I’m still trying to replace the feeling by remembering the interaction with the students instead. It’s not quite working yet. Perhaps this is a job for coffee!
Today I’m grateful for:
My students for really testing me today as I struggled with energy and enthusiasm. A couple of students who didn’t want to read in front of the class I kept back and had them try just for me and I’m proud that they did it. I just want them to get more confident and comfortable so that they test themselves and their abilities. I’m not so fussed about their actual output.
The best thing about today was:
Nothing in particular. Today was a bit of a blur and spent mostly in an above-average happy mood (after the incident in the morning).
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was starting to feel fatigued and exhausted by the time of my last class, who have become comfortable enough with me to try to push my boundaries. For the second half of the lesson, I had them read in front of the class with the rule that if anyone talked the reader would have to start again from the beginning. They soon figured out to be quiet and managed it for about 40 minutes which was good enough to get things done. I was happy to leave school and looking forward to getting home but then I remembered I had to go shopping too. Still, I managed to push on. I’m ready to drop.
What is a habit I would like to develop?
I think there’s nothing much at the moment. I’ve worked on developing a number of habits over the last three years and my time is too full already. So perhaps the question should be reversed to which habit I might like to inhibit instead. Eating candy? Watching YouTube? I don’t know, really? I think I’m good for the moment.
I took this picture because I saw something unusual sprouting from this plant (plant or tree, I’m not sure) yesterday and this morning it had become much more visible and grown to this. I never thought these would have flowers, which is presumably what will come. Stay tuned.
1994ever 