Tag: guitar

Butterflies – 22nd July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 17 Comments

Was it a fantasy? A fair fumble in the past
– Mystical ticks as the clock rewinds
That magical ache in the chest again, at last
– A blood-pumping petition reminds

Gave up reality for frolics in the dark
– Gardenias by day, jasmine by night
Naked in starlight, reignited the spark
– Gladdens the mind from a dark requite

Submitted to No Theme Thursday – the picture above, Moonwashed Musings – mystical and Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – magic
10th Oct 2024 – Shared with What’s Going On – magical

Today I’m feeling:

A little bit weary before coffee but fairly upbeat after.  Will try to get out to my room before watching any TV today, make sure I do things that are pleasurable, though take some effort, rather than just sitting watching the box all day.  Whilst content may be interesting, too much at one time gets boring.

Today I’m grateful for:

The staff at the hospital who gave me advice on when to come back to get my medicine.

The best thing about today was:

Playing guitar again for a couple of hours was fun and though my skill seems to have plateaued, I’m starting to understand it a little more deeply.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I went up to the hospital, though only after talking with Hayden about health, which reminded me to see if the psych was there.  Actually, I knew that he was only usually there on Monday mornings, so I wanted to find out if he would be there next Monday, but as today and next Monday are holidays, the department he is in is not open.  It was a vague hope that they would be.

However, a nice member of staff, with reasonable English, told me that he would be there from 1pm tomorrow, so I figured I’d take tomorrow morning off and wait at home until then and go to my afternoon class at 2.30.  I don’t want to have to go back and forth twice tomorrow as I’m short of cash and will need to refill the tank at some stage.

Something I learned today?

Biden steps down as the 2024 US presidential candidate, and civil war there feels like more and more of a possibility.

On a similar note: Jellyfish are not fish; they have no brain, heart, or bones.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I followed up with Baipad about her cat and also with Freya about herself.

I took this picture because finally, our ground is waterlogged again.

Woke Up Wet – 27th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 7 Comments

I dreamt of many unknown friends
Their benefits, my dividends
Satisfying emotional needs
Together, mind and body succeeds

When the pieces of the puzzle fit
Combined along with opposite
A touch is more real than money
Pay the piper for a pot of honey

A delicate and delicious dance
From sultry look to seditious glance
So on this mental canvas paint
A horse to ride without restraint

Sat in saddle; sound, secure
Found the fun worth looking for
Before the ride, one last check
From tippy toes up to the neck

The rhythms of night relish to move
From furious and fast to slow and smooth
On the corner, shouts “I’m coming home!”
Imagination ensures I’m never alone

Always welcome in this house to stay
The dream, the wish to forever play
Able to ignore all consequences
Maintain in my own confidences

The dreams of which I’ll never tell
Are memories where I often dwell

Submitted to Moonwashed Weekly Prompt (sultry dreams), MLMM Monday Wordle #378 and Writer’s Workshop Prompts (ignore)

Today I’m feeling:

Despite spending a total of four hours at House today and constantly thinking there was something that I should do, then remembering and immediately forgetting, so it was I forgot to write anything here until now, in the evening.

All was smooth and good today with my first two hours freed up now.  On arriving for my first class my students begged me that they wanted to go and watch their classmates in a dance competition at Kotchasarn.  As there were 4 of the class involved there and about another ten also missing, preparing for the Teachers Day tomorrow, I decided it would be best to acquiesce on the condition that they do the writing work that I had planned before our class next week.

And so I went over and watched the competition for a little while by myself, as dance groups from various local schools competed for the chance to go on to the Provincial level competition.

It was a good atmosphere and I met August and we chatted about the competition and also whether we had anything like this when I was in school, which we didn’t.  I guess in many ways the school I teach in is more progressive than the one I studied in.

In the end, I really only had to worry about my final class of grade 8s today and they are familiar with my requirements now as we do the same practical exercise twice a week just with different texts.  It being the last hours of the day they know that the sooner they get down and finish my work then the sooner they can leave.

Today I’m grateful for:

Word of mouth.  That’s how I found out that Teacher’s Day is happening tomorrow.  It’s only now, in the evening, that Kru Mai has confirmed all the details for me and I will have another free two hours tomorrow morning.  Hooray.

The best thing about today was:

Enjoying the atmosphere at the dance competition and then bailing after an hour, before my students had even performed, so I asked another student to send me a video later and I would give them points in class.

A little later the video came through and they performed really well and I sent them a message of congratulations.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I did get out into my room and played guitar for the first time this week.  Unfortunately, it was for less than ten minutes though as I was busy sorting out other things.

Something I learned today?

Baipad sent me a picture of a fennec fox from her visit to Chiang Mai night safari.  It looks like a kitten or puppy that hasn’t grown into its adult ears.  

She was a little disappointed that she didn’t get to see any red foxes which are her favourite.

I took this picture of five of the dancers today. I recognise Neung but not sure if the others are in my class or not. The girls especially look almost unrecognisable when they dress up.  Even Sarah, who I joke and play with every day made herself up and got some hair extensions and I wasn’t sure who she was when she started talking to me!

Over The Horizon – 18th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

What about the baby that pulled the trigger?
He just liked explosions
That made him happy
So many toys to play with
The mind is easily distracted
– It’s so very far away
– Death is so very far away

It can’t even be seen over the horizon

Bang, bang, they’re dead
They all fall down
Because bigger is better
On this side of town

Submitted to Reena’s Xploration Challenge #335

Today I’m feeling:

A little less enthusiastic but still have energy reserves somehow.  The first half of the week is pretty easy now and whilst the last couple of days are busy, they are pretty easy too.

Today I’m grateful for:

Our little birds that came and raised their family with us.  It was cool to watch them grow and then fly away.  Good luck to them.

The best thing about today was:

Spending some time in my room sorting out online music stuff with Parthiban, getting some money sorted to pay Johnny in HK for the Bennu LPs and chatting with Nampan and Team a bit.

And I was able to play some guitar which was fun too.

Something I learned today?

There was a big fire at Chatuchak Market a couple of days ago that killed thousands of animals. I don’t remember even seeing animals anywhere when I was there.

Amy took these pictures because today our little birdies flew the coop.

Flesh – 26th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

Far into the future food will be hard to find
But will have evolved with an ever-greater mind
Time travel will be normal but only to the past
Once the first one comes, it’s sure not to be the last

Back all those million years, so much free-roaming meat
Bring it back to the future for everyone to eat
But our future selves became so filled with greed
Making the same mistakes, taking more than they need

So supplies were running out, there was only so much flesh
Standards demanding that everything must be fresh
Man still not smart enough to know it’s all interlinked
And so that’s how the story goes, the dinosaurs became extinct

Submitted to Reena’s Xploration Challenge #332 and inspired by the 2000AD story ‘Flesh’
26th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – dinosaur

Today I’m feeling:

Still tired and a little slow.  The weekends with no stress or early morning commitments means a big wind down.  So, it’s been a little bit of a quiet day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The workers working on the road.  As the rains have gotten heavier the way out from our house to the road has completely muddied up (even a big truck got stuck out there this morning).  Amy asked them to fix it for us and they did.  I haven’t seen it yet but will find out in the morning.

The best thing about today was:

Playing guitar and feeling like enjoying it again.  It’s been a struggle for the last few weeks but today felt good and spent nearly an hour playing traditional songs in Yousician and then another 30 minutes smashing out punk tunes in Capo.  I’m still terrible but today it doesn’t bother me.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy is a little short with me because I took her cookies to Utopia and to Baipad this morning and I think she’s thinking that I care too much about other people and/or that I don’t like her cookies and so giving them away.

I’m trying just to be normal and carry on and Amy is also busy with her student’s assignments.

I love Amy more than anything but also need to think of ways to keep showing her that.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I wasn’t going to do much of anything today but after I got home from coffee I was surprised to get a message from Baipad asking if I could take her and her sister to Big C as they wanted to go see a movie.

I asked her if her mum was ok with it and if she was then I could take her.  She said her mum was ok (but I’m not certain that she was!) and so I went to pick them up.  It was there that they told me that their mum was in Bangkok!

Well, I put my trust in Baipad and dropped them off and hoped for the best.

Later in the afternoon, she said that they got back home (by Grab I guess) and everything was fine.

I got sent this picture because it seems Little Art and Noey enjoyed Amy’s cookies.

Endless Teapot – 24th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The bright lights of obscurity
Are following me around
But I’m the one doing it
You’re nowhere to be found

The purpose or the point
Discovered in the doing
And when one thing is done
There’s always more brewing

Submitted to NaPoMo

Today I’m feeling:

Lazy to get up but I’m enjoying the ache in my body from exercise. I’m already reminiscing about the lost time of this holiday despite actually being more productive than last year. I’ve got into the groove of taking it easy and am now feeling anxious about getting busy again in the next couple of weeks. Though I know well that I can deal with it easily enough.

Today I’m grateful for:

A brief small storm at around 7pm that whilst not hanging around for long meant a drop in temperature that even allowed us to turn the aircon off for a while!

The best thing about today was:

Tigger coming for cuddles about 7 or 8 times.  He’s getting more affectionate with his age.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I didn’t get a chance to read more of my book today as I ended up busy with other things.  I did get some comic reading in and a chapter from another book that I delve into every now and then.

Something I learned today?

A US senator was complaining that a bag of steel brackets needed for weaponry was costing 90,000 dollars.  A Chinese seller responded offering to sell the same thing for 8 dollars!  And the reality is that US Defence spending from Chinese sources has quadrupled over the last few years.  So the US military is becoming dependent on parts for war with China that are….made in China!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent Anchan a little more money so that she can get back to Chiang Rai as she is stuck in a village outside Chiang Mai at the moment.

I helped Amy moving around some furniture on the terrace as she wanted to change it up.  It looks good and change is good.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

Despite the last two days of not enjoying playing guitar I picked it up again for about 20 minutes and was a little happier with my ability.

What are my thoughts on growing older?

In the last couple of years, I’ve enjoyed the wisdom that age has brought me but recently, with the feeling of time disappearing too quickly, I’m pining for the days of boredom I used to endure as a teenager.

Too much knowledge is a dangerous thing? I know it’s just the way of looking at it. Perhaps I am bored now but don’t really know it?

It can’t be helped to wonder about being able to live your life over again but now I have to take a positive attitude with me with what remains.

I took this picture yesterday and along with other garden pictures sent them to Sharon and Rob.

Burning Man – 22nd April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Some things are indefensible
We all make mistakes
The idea is to learn and grow
No matter what it takes

When genocide repeats itself
What was the fight for?
When the persecuted rain down
Their own hypocritical war

When destruction becomes immoral
What must a soldier do?
Take a big bite of courage
To get the message through

Propaganda no longer hides
The truth of all this killing
To turn a buck for a belief
In a society no longer willing

Today I’m feeling:

Good, after forcing myself up and to exercise. I really wanted to sleep more so I’m happy with myself and my motivation.

Today I’m grateful for:

The local hospital and Dr Poom, my medicine dispenser.  I was able to get straight in today with barely 5 minutes wait, despite it being very busy.  I also asked about information for my students who are struggling and what to recommend them if and when they go to the hospital.

It occurred to me today that after Baipad tried to overdose on paracetamol all the hospital were concerned about was her kidney health.  It seems like maybe no one even asked her why she did it!

Anyway, the info from Dr Poom was useful as they have a child psychiatrist there and psychotherapists too.

The best thing about today was:

My energy levels being great for most of the day due to that morning exercise.  I felt energetic and inspired through all of the day and though I wasn’t doing much strenuous work since the morning I just kept going from one thing to another.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As mentioned a couple of weeks ago there has been a change to access the full replay of the AFL matches online and whilst I was able to access it with a VPN last time, today it didn’t work and I was getting wound up by it while trying to figure out a way around it.  Eventually I just had to resign myself to watching the 15 minute mini-match highlights.  Disappointing but all I can do is shout at the clouds.

Something I learned today?

I learned that it is costing the USA 200 million dollars an hour to keep the genocide rolling in Palestine.  Or as the USA likes to call it, defending Israel.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent pep messages to Anchan and Baipad this morning.  I also chatted a little with my other students, Freya, Winter and Wipping.

I beeped at the annoying BMW in front of me that failed to move at the traffic lights, meaning that we all missed it and couldn’t go anywhere.  I was frustrated for a minute.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

I picked up the guitar again today and it sucked!  But I persevered even whilst continuing to suck.  I need to change the strings too.  They sound dull – much like my playing!  Never mind.  I won’t be deterred.

I took this picture because this was the view from our dinner table on Saturday, looking over the Mae Khong to Laos.

Friday Antidote – 18th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Making Monday Friday
Smile through gritted teeth
The best day of the week
Comes down to belief

No day is hump day
Every one a joy
Waiting for the weekend
A folly to employ

So savour every minute
Life only starts when you begin it

Submitted to dVerse – Friday and FOWC with Fandango — Antidote
23rd Jun 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge – folly

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty inspired after a good sleep.

The crying cats woke me up to feed them at 8.30 so I got up and did that but knew I wanted more sleep.  Back in bed and I eventually got up at around 11.30.  Hooray for a good long sleep!

I think I ended up sleeping at around 2am last night as I was reading comics til 1am and then listening to the Henry and Heidi podcast about Rollins Band.

Today I’m grateful for:

A guy called Pran.  He is Baipad’s mum’s boyfriend and he got in touch with me today because he wants to understand more about Baipad because they may end up all living together.

Baipad put us in touch and was ok for me to tell him everything.  I kinda understand why she doesn’t want to tell him directly.  Baipad seems to like him so I hope he is a trustworthy and good guy.

The best thing about today was:

Getting back to some guitar practice. This holiday has been on and off for me, not wanting to go out into the oven of my room in the afternoons.  But today I told myself to get back to it.  It was a struggle to play and I know that it just needs more practice and that the more I do, the better I will get.

I also told myself that I need to get back into exercise too.  I downloaded a new app to try out for motivation and will start tomorrow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Nothing wildly out of control.  I accepted that I woke up late and was even happy about it as I got enough good rest.  

At various times throughout the day Amy would order me to do something and I was in the mood to acquiesce without complaint.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

With Baipad’s approval I told Pran everything that I knew about Baipad’s experience and also gave my suggestions as to what might help her.  I also told him that I understood Baipad’s mum too.

Anchan said that she wanted to go to a friends house and bake.  I told her to stop thinking and get going.  Later on she told me that she had a good time.

Momo took this picture last week because I asked her to. With me is Baitong – a funny favourite of mine.

Faux Concern – 19th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Who determines the state of us turtles?
Is it those that pump poison into my home?
As if there is not enough for us to deal with
Better you didn’t exist and left us all alone

Submitted to Monday Poetry Prompt – determine, state, turtle

Today I’m feeling:

A little better.  I started to feel almost ok after eating some dinner last night. I wasn’t really hungry but ate anyway and glad that I did.  I struggled with sleep again last night but don’t feel too tired yet; I know that I really need to push through today and not take a nap so that I can enjoy a good sleep tonight.  Right now – 8 am – I feel like I have the start of a cold or flu again, much like I did last week.  So despite feeling better than I did on Saturday, I’m still on the edge.

Today I’m grateful for:

The hospital being close by and able to see Amy for whatever allergy is bothering her skin at 9 pm. Hopefully, it’s nothing serious but best for her to get checked as she has had attacks from allergies before.

The best thing about today was:

Playing lots of guitar although much of it was frustrating as I haven’t played much this week and I can notice the struggle I am having to get my coordination working again.

Something I learned today?

I learned what a cherita is in poetry. I will give this a go sometime.  I’m currently thinking about a cascading poem using a nomeansno lyric as a starting point.

Cherita (pronounced CHAIR-rita) is a linked poetry form of one-, two- and three-line stanzas.

Cherita is the Malay word for “story” or “tale”.

A cherita consists of a one-line stanza, followed by a two-line stanza, and then finishing with a three-line stanza.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I talked a little bit with my student Earn again and gave her some more encouragement as she figures out who she is and where she is going in her life.  As usual, it’s wonderful to watch these kids grow and mature.

How do I practice self-care on a busy day?

My days are mostly made busy by self-care!  Over the last few years, I have been bringing self-care to the forefront of my mind and I no longer mean this in a selfish way (as I might have done in the past).

My days are generally not that busy so the remaining time is taken up with self-care in the form of reading, writing, relaxation and thinking.  On a busy day, the actions are the same.  Each space must be filled with thought that ensures care for one’s self (along with everyone around).

I took this picture because the school cat Garfield was waiting for cuddles and rubs this morning.

Don’t Talk To Strangers – 11th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Don’t talk to strangers
You don’t know what they’re thinking
Closely guard your drink
Someone will spike what you’re drinking

Don’t make eye contact
That’s the starting of a fight
An applecart upset
Will see the end of your night

Don’t accept candies
From men in fantastic cars
Never trust a girl
That spends her time in bars

Beware the bogie man
There’s darkness everywhere you look
Don’t talk to strangers
Until you’ve read every self-help book

Inspired and loosely based on part of this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

I’m feeling weird and fuzzy again. I think maybe I have some Covid variation again. I got up at a reasonable time which was a bit difficult as Amy was still up and singing along to her favourite songs well past 1 am. 

At 11 am though I slept again until 3 pm. Now I just feel like I have a stiff neck, blocked nose and little appetite despite knowing I’m hungry. I’m keen for more sleep and not excited about being back at work again tomorrow.

Today I’m grateful for:

Medicine, sleep and Sundays.

The best thing about today was:

Playing a little guitar and looking over old emails for information.  I’ve done very little today and my brain is on strike.  Despite this I was glad to do these little things.

Something I learned today?

Polluted air is mainly breathed indoors.  We spend between 80 and 90 percent of our time indoors. Outdoor air pollutants find their way indoors and become trapped when there is no proper ventilation.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I complimented Noey on her shirt today as it was cute.  She asked if I thought that she was cute and I said ‘No, just the shirt.’  She knows she’s cute, so she went off laughing.

I took this picture because P’ti was feeling very Sunday morning.

The Rush – 4th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The race never existed in his world
To hurry something somehow seemed wrong
Never a challenge externalised
Until the hare came haring along

…and what were you like before…

Today I’m feeling:

Sore. My back and knees are complaining after stressing them yesterday whilst cleaning out the sink drain. 

Today I’m grateful for:

The parking guys with their whistles at Makro.  I don’t know why they are necessary or why they blow their whistles so much as it’s impossible to understand if it means anything.  I almost ran the guy over because I had a clear reverse behind me and he was the only thing in the way!

The best thing about today was:

Spending a few hours in my room, catching up on reading, sorting music, downloading and listening and then practising guitar.  I want to spend more time doing this but I still don’t really enjoy being in that room anymore.

Something I learned today?

The average age of a Ukrainian soldier right now is 43!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I followed up with Earn, asking her the same question as I did about six weeks ago – Tell me five things you like about yourself.  Her answers are better than last time.  Less focused on looks and more focused on feelings and emotions.

What is a happy memory from my childhood?

I’ve lots of snippets of memories that are not particularly happy or sad, just things that happened. Some may have felt ecstatic at the time such as playing football at school or tragic like the time I cracked my eyebrow open on the edge of a step but at this distance, they are just events. I consider my childhood to be memories until I was about halfway through middle school, pre-pubescent. After that, I consider myself a teenager until I was forty!

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  11. Lead the Way. When you find yourself in a situation where everyone looks at each other, it’s time for you to lead. You’re a leader when you decide to become one. There’s no initiation or a title. Just a decision.

Before going through teenage depression I thought that I could be a leader.  After that though, I mostly wanted to keep my head down though I still had a selfish streak of arrogance which popped up from time to time. 

Whilst doing DIY punk things in Sydney I never felt like a leader but did hope that I was an inspiration for others and I can think of two friends for sure who did take something from what I was doing and ran with it themselves. 

Now, at school, in Thailand, I consider myself the same.  Not as a leader but as an inspiration.  I want to inspire my students to become the best of themselves.  I don’t work for prizes and awards and I don’t want to be managing other adults.  I don’t want to lead people in such a way as to tell them what to do.  Rather than leading I just want to be doing something. Anything.  Just do it.

I took this picture because this was one of the few super cute kittens that were jumping around, playing and sleeping on this spirit house at the Night Bazaar last night.