Tag: Nong Na

Walking To Happiness – 21st February 2024

~ tenzenmen ~ 10 Comments

Let’s roll the rock, let’s roll it up
The mountain doesn’t exist
When the rock, it rolls on down
In its nature not to resist

And what’s your nature? ask yourself
You are the rock, you are the mountain
Walk right on up to the top
To drink from the happy fountain

Submitted to WDYS 226

Today I’m feeling:

Good for taking an extra 30 minutes snooze this morning.  I could have pushed through and got up and exercised but subconsciously I knew that I slept late last night because I wasn’t feeling tired and I was telling myself that I should rest more.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Na bringing us a small gift today.  We invited her over again to make another contact if we need a cat sitter in the future.  We’ve never needed to ask her but I think she would be happy enough to do it and she seems quite reasonable and responsible.

The best thing about today was:

I taught my grade 10s the Sexual Abuse lesson that I had used a couple of years ago.  I had to adapt it a little and put in a lot of translation so that they could fully grasp all the concepts.  They seemed to follow it well enough, especially the video of the Thai girl speaking out about being abused by a teacher.

They particularly perked up when we came to talk about words about sex, though they started off shyly until I asked them what about all the bad words that you are not supposed to say?  Once they got the green light on that, they were off and running.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Late this afternoon I found out that there is an art event again tomorrow morning.  I asked a few of my students but they didn’t know anything about it.  As usual, communication sucks but I thought that perhaps I can use it to my advantage.

I came home and forgot about it though until one student contacted me, having obviously heard about the event from somewhere, asking if they could go to the event instead of class.  Well, doesn’t that sound like a grand idea?  But I kept them hanging and just replied ‘Maybe….’

Actually, if I had known something about it I could have prepared some tasks to at least incorporate the event into a lesson somehow.  As it is, the kids will probably wander around the event for a few minutes and then go back to the classroom and play on their phones for the rest of the two hours.  And so will I, except I will go off for coffee instead.

Something I learned today?

Hippos can’t swim but they can sleep underwater.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

The kids are mostly in a pretty good mood with the end of the semester approaching and I was being pulled in many directions to join and chat with different groups at different times during the day.

Before leaving to come home I usually walk around the park to see which students are hanging out there and I’ll chat briefly with the ones I know and sometimes ones I don’t know will start a conversation too.

This afternoon, Kaowfang, Miyor and Husna were walking by and Kaowfang, as always, was talking about the latest boy that she likes.  Then she spotted the boy that Miyor likes and I feigned to bring him over and Miyor pulled me back.

We walked off in different directions but crossed paths again a few minutes later and Miyor went off to sit down whilst Kaowfang and Husna started telling me that Miyor was angry and upset with them.  I thought maybe because we were teasing her about the boy that she likes.

I didn’t have time to get involved further in their coming-of-age quarrels but was messaged later that they were having a real problem with Miyor and they didn’t know how to deal with it.  They said she was vain, self-centred and selfish!  Wow! I didn’t see that coming.  Miyor is a pretty quiet girl in class and I never heard any bad talk either from or about her.

I asked Kaowfang if she had talked directly to Miyor about it but she said that she would just get angry and not listen anyway.

I suggested that perhaps Miyor is upset because she just doesn’t like people talking about her, either good or bad and that maybe whilst we were playing and joking about the boy she actually felt quite serious about it.  I also said that, really, it’s none of our business who she likes or doesn’t like so perhaps we can not talk about this with her next time.

Kaowfang thanked me for the suggestion.  Let’s see what happens.  Here I am still traversing the perils of teenage relationships.

What does love mean to me?

I find love a little difficult to define though I know it is what I feel for certain people and about certain things.  Love changes throughout our lives so its definition changes.

The love I have for Amy doesn’t feel the same as the love I had for my first girlfriend (which I might hesitate to even call love now).  It is also different to the love I have for my mum or my students or my home.

So what does it mean?  Warmth, acceptance, understanding, kindness, growth.

For me, love also means fidelity.  I think that if you cheat on your partner then you have stopped loving them.  I say that without judgement as I have cheated before.  When that happened I knew that I was no longer in love.

Now, having learned that I understand that it is better to break up with someone if you no longer love them, before sharing your love somewhere else.  Either way is heartbreak but one is more morally acceptable for me.

I took this picture because Nong Na came and updated us on her first year at university so far.

Step On – 13th September 2023

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Stairs never-ending
Treading same old paths
Hungrily ascending
Reliving time-worn pasts
Sun beats relentless
As per the decades gone
Head spun senseless
Sisyphus is never done
When was really my time?
Did I ever really belong?

Today I’m feeling:

Ok so far, after invigorating exercise and a cold shower. Last night I set the aircon to turn off and despite waking up hot at some point, it wasn’t too uncomfortable. In the end though, I found myself waking up about 20 minutes before my alarm and thinking about Amy’s parents and what happens next and considering even longer term that if they are gone and if something happens to Amy too then who can I turn to for help? 

My energy is starting to flag a little by this afternoon though I feel quite contented. I look forward to getting home and hopefully, I sleep well tonight.

Today I’m grateful for:

Getting home after a long-ish day. I’m tired and hungry though not grumpy. Not yet anyway.  I picked up salad at the uni market, where I also bumped into Nong Na, and I’m savouring the prospect of eating it after a few minutes in the fridge to cool it down.

The best thing about today was:

Enjoying my grade 10 class as they struggled through taking notes on a phone call. Thankful for technology that allowed us to set up a group call that allowed myself and the best English-speaking student Toon to sit in the teacher’s room carrying out the conversation whilst everyone listened intently, or in bewilderment, on their phones.

Kru Nu came in at one point and sat smiling listening to us have the conversation. I hope the smile meant she was happy with my work and not a ‘what are you doing here’ ironic smile.

Anyway, most of the students struggled so much that in my break between classes I quickly wrote another conversation and found a video that they can also use for listening practice and we will do that tomorrow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Despite feeling tired already during the morning, Amy had rung to ask me to drop by to see her mum and dad. With a busy day, it meant I would have to go after school finished, where I would have preferred just to get home quickly. I had already expected this call a little and of course, it would be the right thing to do considering the circumstances. 

So I dropped by, breathing deeply, meditating my way through my lack of energy. They both appreciated my visit and I asked them about Leo, Dad’s dog, and took him for a walk. At least he was walking when I could shake him off my leg. He has sharp nails that scratched me even through my jeans and leaves a bad doggy smell that Tangmo was very curious about later when I got home.

I offered to come walk Leo anytime they wanted and to call me if they needed me to do anything. They seemed happy despite the situation. I guess we don’t know anything too much yet, just that they have found the cancer. Things may get more serious and sooner rather than later.

After getting home and feeding Tangmo a snack I stripped off my dog-smelly clothes straight into the washing machine and showered off any further lingering dog juices.

Something I learned today?

With talk of operations and chemotherapy Amy told me about how Thai people she knows who have suffered similar medical issues in Australia had to pay very little for treatment there if they were covered by Medicare. One girl even said that she would now be dead if it had happened in Thailand as she wouldn’t have been able to pay for the treatment. Another plus for Australia.

What do I enjoy most about my daily life?

Morning coffee, reading books, reading comics, listening to music, talking to my students, playing guitar, writing here, post-exercise cold showers.

Which do I enjoy the most? Why do I have to choose? 

If it is something I most enjoy I would think I should do it more but I do these things just enough. If I did them more they may become less enjoyable.

I took this picture because we were taking Leo out for his walk. I want to say that is an excited look on Leo’s face and it may be, but that is also what he always looks like. Imagine just being constantly excited. It looks stressful!

Headstones – 25th July 2023

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Staring away at the whispered words
The smile no longer inspires
Ghostly here amongst the sleeping
Letting go of what love requires

The end of the story, said goodbye
Seven minutes to break a heart
The one that promised themselves so much
Must find the joy of a new start

Today I’m feeling:

I slept in the air-conned bedroom with Amy last night but still didn’t sleep that well, waking up with aching hips or feeling too cold! Anyway, it was better than feeling hot and Tigger had also sprayed in our bedroom and it was still smelly in there. 

My first class went well and has put me in a good mood as I sit here drinking coffee preparing for my next class in four hours and by preparing I mean doing something else besides thinking about teaching!

Today I’m grateful for:

My new pants that I bought yesterday and felt good wearing today. I tried the other pair I bought but even though they are the same maker and have the same label for waist size are about two sizes too small for me. No refunds. It’s a shame but I should’ve tried them on rather than trusting that they would be the same. My mistake.

The best thing about today was:

Firstly, having my last class, the troublesome rebellious lot, going well again and being a lot of fun this time, I’m glad that I made the change of style of teaching with them and whilst I don’t feel like I’m teaching them much at least they are practising their reading, writing and speaking skills to some degree.

Then, after school, Nong Na and Amy were waiting for me and we went off to Big C to get pizza and ice cream. It was good to see Na again, she has just started at the university in the Aviation faculty and I can already hear her improved confidence in listening and speaking since I last met her when she was in high school.

She is a quiet girl, never travelled far but is a good student and somehow Amy lit a fire under her and she has shown a determination to improve her English by herself. We are quite proud that she has come so far. She had never been to the Pizza Company store or to the ice cream shop so it was quite a thrill for her and it was our treat.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It’s ten pm and I’m in bed, ran out of time to play guitar today which I kinda look forward to even though some days I sit down to play and get frustrated after five minutes of trying. Tomorrow evening I should have enough free time though as Amy will go out so I await that with anticipation. Thursday will not be free but Friday is the start of six days off so I’ll get some practice time in then.

Something I learned today?

I’m in the middle of a questionnaire to discover my style of kindness at work but my eyes are drooping and Amy is already asleep on my shoulder so I will have to learn that tomorrow. I learned other things today for sure but what were they….?

How do I cope with stress and adversity?

By not inviting it into my head so often. When it does it always upsets me that I let it get the better of me. 

I took this picture a couple of weeks ago because these two-tone clouds looked amazing on the horizon. Unfortunately, it didn’t translate as well into a picture on my phone but as I didn’t find the time or opportunity to take a picture today then this will have to do. Tomorrow – must try harder!

Donation Pile – 19th July 2023

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Tears of heartache spilt on her dress
The memory held must no longer impress
“This was me, but this was me then”
And she will never be that person again
She can’t carry all the ghosts of time
All the lives lived already left behind
She cannot hold on to the warm evening air
And this dress no longer takes her there

inspired by writing at Spinning Visions blog

Today I’m feeling:

Woke up feeling okay after a good sleep, shoving the fan against the open window again as the temperature actually rose during the evening. But as I was driving to work I suddenly felt a wave of tiredness come over my brain. My body still felt ok but my brain wanted to switch off. Unfortunately, that’s not an option but I wonder if this is my regular run out of energy that I will need a big sleep to catch up on?

(Later) I managed to pick up my energy throughout the day though I was looking forward to relaxing at home until Amy reminded me we have a plan to meet Nong Na.

It ended up raining so hard that when we got home everyone agreed to change plans to meet another day instead.

Today I’m grateful for:

My student Pin, who didn’t complain when I tracked her down in the canteen at lunchtime and made her try to read the work she should have done yesterday. I know she struggles to read so I wanted her to see that I am there to help her and push her forward even if the progress is only marginal. She did her best and I was grateful that she tried.

The best thing about today was:

Whilst I was standing amongst a group of students talking with Jet and Noah, Nicha stood beside me and started massaging my wrist and forearm. 

I’m not sure why or what was in her thoughts but I appreciated the massage as my wrists were sore from doing some push-ups this morning. 

I don’t feel uncomfortable when teenage students (boys or girls) do odd things like that. I think maybe they are testing boundaries or testing themselves in a safe environment. 

I know other teachers’ own boundaries may be pushed in that situation but I would never let anything become inappropriate. 

I play with my students as if they were my own children and would never hurt them physically or emotionally. I want them to grow, unafraid of criticism and to develop their own self-esteem and confidence in their own actions and emotions.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy dropped me at school today so I had no car to zip out for coffee, not that I have much time on Wednesdays to do that. I embraced being in the school for the whole day and filled the time with helping, talking and playing with students and teachers alike.

Something I learned today?

The guy most of the country voted for in the recent election has been disallowed to be prime minister on a technical issue because that is what certain people in power want. When these people don’t get what they want through the systems in place, they can always find another way. The tide is turning but it’s too slow for many.

What am I feeling right now?

8 pm – Ready for bed but not quite out of energy in my limbs. 

My eyelids are heavy, my ankles are aching, my wrists are sore.

My mind is still humming though with the idea that I have to prepare some more lessons soon. I don’t think I have enough for some of my classes. I also know that I won’t have much free time in October to prepare for the second semester. This anxiety is sitting quietly in the back of my head.

I took this picture because this critter was sitting happily on the wall outside the classroom.

Forked Tongues – 10th June 2023

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These Indians red took the word
Of these well-dressed men of cloth
But soon lines were drawn and blurred
And the taking was never enough
One man whispers truths to be bent
And conquered all within his path
Claiming their gifts were heaven sent
And the pious enjoyed the last laugh
On and on the conquerors strode
Until the world fell to its knees
So as the words further flowed
They would see the world less pleased
Promises broken along with trust
Would see anyone’s station fall
So rises the river as needs must
To flood the lowest of them all

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired again but enjoyed a Saturday sleep-in. I was a little relieved that Matt hadn’t replied to my message about going over so that I can relax at home. At Utopia, Noey was working so it’s nice to see a pretty face and as Art was off doing coffee stuff, she and the boys, Gong and little Art, were enjoying a little freedom at work.
After a haircut, I rode to the 20 baht shop to get some batteries and rode by the grilled pork stall on the corner. I’d previously seen a girl there wearing a CRPAO shortcut but didn’t recognise them. Today though the girl working waved and smiled a big smile at me. It was my student AumAim. I stopped and chatted a little with her and her mum, telling her that she was a good student, which is true. They live in the soi along from me.
In the afternoon I ran out of energy again and woke up feeling shit after a nap.

Today I’m grateful for:

Realising I had potatoes in the fridge, which I then baked, covered with butter, cheese and a little onion, salt and pepper. I’m wondering if this is what made me feel tired though?

The best thing about today was:

Definitely the morning. I felt good, my mood was good and I got things done.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I was planning on getting Art to come with me to the air conditioning shop to convince their mechanic to come and fix mine but when I got there they told me he’d gone into the city. Maybe I’ll catch him tomorrow. Either way, the temperature is a little cooler now and a fan or two is ok to sleep with.

Something I learned today?

US media is claiming China is racist for not going to see the new Disney movie because the lead actor is black, discounting the fact that the top-selling movie in China is the latest Spiderman which also has a black lead. Anything for a China Bad story, it’s ridiculous.

What was the most interesting thing I saw or heard today?

Amy’s student from a couple of years ago, Na, will go to the university near us and Amy said she will ask her to house/cat sit for us when we need. Great idea! She’s got common sense and is respectful. 
I guess my day wasn’t particularly interesting but this possibility could give us a little extra freedom to travel when want.

How did I embody a beginner’s mind?

I remind myself that I know a lot of things and that amount to a fraction of all the things that are known. 
When I’m teaching in class I’m reminded by my students that we all share a beginner’s mind and that we should never be complacent that we know everything.

I took this picture because I have to get my ginger cat fix from the hairdresser’s cat now. I think she said its name is Hoi Tod, Fried Clam!