No Chef – 28th November 2023

I know I know nothing
You tell me, how much cheese?
I’m no chef, I’m just eating
Transfer the knowledge, please!

A poem for this Existential Comic


Today I’m feeling:

A little tense as there is a lot of running around today. First to the city to walk Leo, then Mae Sai immigration where we have just home from. Right now I’m ready to scoff some lunch before dashing back to school for my afternoon classes.

Today I’m grateful for:

Officer Oh at Mae Sai immigration. This was my first visit there and all the staff seemed far more friendly than in Chiang Rai. It’s a bit of a long way to go each time but hopefully the experience will be better.

The best thing about today was:

Getting my visa application in and hopefully having that finalised within the next three weeks.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Being out of my class this morning was a little difficult as I tried to monitor everything from the work they were sending me in their messages.

About ten students didn’t submit anything and later in the day I deducted points in the system.

It was then found that I had gotten two students mixed up and needed to add their points back but then finding that I can only deduct points and not add them! I want to get that fixed because I want to reward students too.

Something I learned today?

More than 87% of Palestinian deaths caused by Israel in the last 51 days are civilian. The highest ratio of civilian to combatant deaths in any war ever and by a long way.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Last night I made the choice to get up early and go with Amy to walk Leo but when we arrived this morning we found that her dad had already taken him. Everyone has been telling him to take it easy and he only finished his second round of chemo yesterday but he is obviously frustrated at not being able to do all the things he wants to do. As the brief thought went through my mind of wasted time and wasted petrol, I pushed it aside and prepared for the next step of driving us to Mae Sai.

I messaged Manow hoping that she recovers from her cold soon.

I apologised to Pin and Gam as I accidentally deducted points from them in the SchoolBright system. They were both gracious in return.

As a few of my final class wanted to go off early to sports practice I made a deal with them to help them get through the work quicker.

After going to Immigration in Mae Sai Amy wanted to go to the markets. I didn’t really want to buy anything myself but happily went along with her as it felt like we had enough time. We bought some roasted chestnuts and noodles for her mum and dad and I was tasked with delivering them before getting back to school. It was a bit of a rush but I got it done.

What emotions do I feel most often?

I’ve become much more emotionally stable over the last couple of years and the emotion I notice more often these days is joy. There are times when I just have a feeling of inner peace and happiness.

Other emotions such as stress, tension and anxiety seem to occur often enough but register less. Depression is almost gone completely.

I took this picture last night because I wanted to capture what we had setup for Loy Kratong in the driveway. No new pictures today.

Donation Pile – 19th July 2023

Tears of heartache spilt on her dress
The memory held must no longer impress
“This was me, but this was me then”
And she will never be that person again
She can’t carry all the ghosts of time
All the lives lived already left behind
She cannot hold on to the warm evening air
And this dress no longer takes her there

inspired by writing at Spinning Visions blog


Today I’m feeling:

Woke up feeling okay after a good sleep, shoving the fan against the open window again as the temperature actually rose during the evening. But as I was driving to work I suddenly felt a wave of tiredness come over my brain. My body still felt ok but my brain wanted to switch off. Unfortunately, that’s not an option but I wonder if this is my regular run out of energy that I will need a big sleep to catch up on?

(Later) I managed to pick up my energy throughout the day though I was looking forward to relaxing at home until Amy reminded me we have a plan to meet Nong Na.

It ended up raining so hard that when we got home everyone agreed to change plans to meet another day instead.

Today I’m grateful for:

My student Pin, who didn’t complain when I tracked her down in the canteen at lunchtime and made her try to read the work she should have done yesterday. I know she struggles to read so I wanted her to see that I am there to help her and push her forward even if the progress is only marginal. She did her best and I was grateful that she tried.

The best thing about today was:

Whilst I was standing amongst a group of students talking with Jet and Noah, Nicha stood beside me and started massaging my wrist and forearm. 

I’m not sure why or what was in her thoughts but I appreciated the massage as my wrists were sore from doing some push-ups this morning. 

I don’t feel uncomfortable when teenage students (boys or girls) do odd things like that. I think maybe they are testing boundaries or testing themselves in a safe environment. 

I know other teachers’ own boundaries may be pushed in that situation but I would never let anything become inappropriate. 

I play with my students as if they were my own children and would never hurt them physically or emotionally. I want them to grow, unafraid of criticism and to develop their own self-esteem and confidence in their own actions and emotions.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy dropped me at school today so I had no car to zip out for coffee, not that I have much time on Wednesdays to do that. I embraced being in the school for the whole day and filled the time with helping, talking and playing with students and teachers alike.

Something I learned today?

The guy most of the country voted for in the recent election has been disallowed to be prime minister on a technical issue because that is what certain people in power want. When these people don’t get what they want through the systems in place, they can always find another way. The tide is turning but it’s too slow for many.

What am I feeling right now?

8 pm – Ready for bed but not quite out of energy in my limbs. 

My eyelids are heavy, my ankles are aching, my wrists are sore.

My mind is still humming though with the idea that I have to prepare some more lessons soon. I don’t think I have enough for some of my classes. I also know that I won’t have much free time in October to prepare for the second semester. This anxiety is sitting quietly in the back of my head.

I took this picture because this critter was sitting happily on the wall outside the classroom.