A tanka, shared with Reena’s Xploration #400 – inspired by the attached picture from The Marginalian’s An Almanac of Birds. These elusive birds are known as ‘jewels of the swamp’ and their song is a ‘sweet-sweet-sweet’ sound. Their name is derived from their colour, an almost fluorescent golden-yellow, like the robes of a papal prothonotary (a high-ranking cleric in the Catholic Church. I learned all this today, too.
The line ‘How I would bake bread in my safe European home’ is a reference to a time when I was about 12 and, with the help of my mother, I started baking bread. As I was obsessed with the Clash at the time I baked some bread rolls that spelled out the letters C-L-A-S-H, ‘Safe European Home’ being a song from their second album.
The line ‘I never flew Hurricanes in Greece’ is a reference to Roald Dahl and his book ‘Going Solo’ about his time as a fighter pilot in WWII. I just finished reading his book today. The mention of Proust is because I will start reading ‘In Search of Lost Time’ soon.
This poem is about not knowing what to write, knowing what to write, knowing what is important and the futility in sharing a few words with a few people.
The second part involves running it through the N+7 machine, where I have taken the following extracts to recompose, revise and make this new poem:
Captured above to maintain format.
The Underclass
It’s been several daylights now since I sat staring at this empty pain; waiting for the butchers of duty to erase this void spoken.
Thought of those hot daylights and nightmares in Rhodes; I thought how I wasn’t scared of the game then, wondering why I can’t get basis there again; Time – how I got to here and how important it feels to leave;
Thunder about the word collectors those saviours threaten about nouns
~ How to make goodbye to be better ~
How I would bake breath in my safe European honesty; Thought why those menaces cling more than the acquaintance of discipline since;
I never flew hysterical in grief; The only huns I fought were trial sorrows and I always sided with the underclass and loyal
Combination is telling me that it’s tone to state reality, Proust!; Hoping for a riot, that witch put me straight and cleared the form… as the books keep dropping all around outlines, the body spills across this empty pain;
The word collector erased throwing his lifetime into the fireplace (throwing his lip into the flesh).
Shared with Reena’s Xploration Challenge #380 for the prompt ‘Who will read my diary?” I read through other people’s writing for the prompt and considered all the further questions raised from this initial one. It led to a more stream-of-consciousness write this time, perhaps because my own thoughts are not so clear yet. Who will even read this explanation?
Who will read my diary? I don’t know.
If you were deeply inquisitive… I could be in trouble! Because I told it all…
(mostly, one or two things remain too shameful, even for me)
My words likely to upset as I recall random thoughts from thirty years ago.
How could a reader put it all into context without reading from the beginning?
I’ve been good
(again, mostly)
for the last decade or two.
Thanks for the statute of limitations in the few different countries I’ve lived!
(I only stole from corporations anyway; and I haven’t written that story yet, but I will)
If you chose to take the time to read through it all you would only see yourself and hopefully you already know what you are all about…
If I wished anyone to read my diary it would be the children, to inspire them to keep going and never give up.
A little bit tired and unmotivated. With no kids at school for the rest of the week I have lots of time to read, write and prepare more lessons but now I’m sitting here in the cafe I kinda just feel sleepy!
Amy had a sore throat a couple of days ago and mine is starting to tickle a little bit too.
I have to go to the dentist at 11.30 but hopefully it won’t be too expensive and shouldn’t need any work done.
Today I’m grateful for:
A decent, long downpour which has finally seen the temperature become more bearable. Ironically, I’m not at school to enjoy it and everything will be back to scorched and sweaty by next week would be a pretty good guess.
Still, it was nice to feel the cold rain on my skin when I was outside looking around the garden.
The best thing about today was:
My phone being ok (see below) and also the dentist telling me everything was looking ok and them cleaning up some plaque for me.
I wasn’t too surprised when the bill was 800 baht, so I sent through the payment via my phone but then the receptionist realised that she had given me the wrong invoice and that, in fact, today was free of charge. So she refunded me in cash!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy sent me across from the cafe to get some cookie bags from the bakery and I was leaving my phone fell out of my pocket and something happened that has made it difficult to use. I’m hoping that it is nothing too big and expensive to fix but it will be a further strain on my budget this month.
(Later) I managed to restart the phone and everything was back to normal which is something else that I’m grateful for today.
Something I learned today?
I’m learning lots of little pieces of interesting information from my grade 12 kids with their oral diary.
Beam told me that he is really interested in human behaviour and psychology and wants to study that at university.
What about the baby that pulled the trigger? He just liked explosions That made him happy So many toys to play with The mind is easily distracted – It’s so very far away – Death is so very far away
It can’t even be seen over the horizon
Bang, bang, they’re dead They all fall down Because bigger is better On this side of town
A little less enthusiastic but still have energy reserves somehow. The first half of the week is pretty easy now and whilst the last couple of days are busy, they are pretty easy too.
Today I’m grateful for:
Our little birds that came and raised their family with us. It was cool to watch them grow and then fly away. Good luck to them.
The best thing about today was:
Spending some time in my room sorting out online music stuff with Parthiban, getting some money sorted to pay Johnny in HK for the Bennu LPs and chatting with Nampan and Team a bit.
And I was able to play some guitar which was fun too.
Something I learned today?
There was a big fire at Chatuchak Market a couple of days ago that killed thousands of animals. I don’t remember even seeing animals anywhere when I was there.
Amy took these pictures because today our little birdies flew the coop.
Far into the future food will be hard to find But will have evolved with an ever-greater mind Time travel will be normal but only to the past Once the first one comes, it’s sure not to be the last
Back all those million years, so much free-roaming meat Bring it back to the future for everyone to eat But our future selves became so filled with greed Making the same mistakes, taking more than they need
So supplies were running out, there was only so much flesh Standards demanding that everything must be fresh Man still not smart enough to know it’s all interlinked And so that’s how the story goes, the dinosaurs became extinct
Still tired and a little slow. The weekends with no stress or early morning commitments means a big wind down. So, it’s been a little bit of a quiet day.
Today I’m grateful for:
The workers working on the road. As the rains have gotten heavier the way out from our house to the road has completely muddied up (even a big truck got stuck out there this morning). Amy asked them to fix it for us and they did. I haven’t seen it yet but will find out in the morning.
The best thing about today was:
Playing guitar and feeling like enjoying it again. It’s been a struggle for the last few weeks but today felt good and spent nearly an hour playing traditional songs in Yousician and then another 30 minutes smashing out punk tunes in Capo. I’m still terrible but today it doesn’t bother me.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy is a little short with me because I took her cookies to Utopia and to Baipad this morning and I think she’s thinking that I care too much about other people and/or that I don’t like her cookies and so giving them away.
I’m trying just to be normal and carry on and Amy is also busy with her student’s assignments.
I love Amy more than anything but also need to think of ways to keep showing her that.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I wasn’t going to do much of anything today but after I got home from coffee I was surprised to get a message from Baipad asking if I could take her and her sister to Big C as they wanted to go see a movie.
I asked her if her mum was ok with it and if she was then I could take her. She said her mum was ok (but I’m not certain that she was!) and so I went to pick them up. It was there that they told me that their mum was in Bangkok!
Well, I put my trust in Baipad and dropped them off and hoped for the best.
Later in the afternoon, she said that they got back home (by Grab I guess) and everything was fine.
I got sent this picture because it seems Little Art and Noey enjoyed Amy’s cookies.
Pretty rough this morning, starting at around 60% I guess and now, in the evening back to around 80%. I will skip exercising in the mornings this week and start again next week instead.
We start teaching our classes on Thursday.
It was freaking hot walking around school today and I have a lot more walking between buildings than before too.
Today I’m grateful for:
Spending a little time with Kru Ren, chatting about the new program that he is supposed to be writing lessons for but which he hasn’t even started yet because he’s just not sure what he’s supposed to be doing!
The best thing about today was:
Getting my head around how everything will work for me this semester. There will be some challenges ahead, some teething problems but I’m sure I will settle in pretty well.
I found and printed some fun activities from the Twinkl downloads on Sunday and hope they go well.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I ran out of A4 paper to print on in the main office and when I asked someone there for some more they only gave me a few sheets. Even though I couldn’t finish what I wanted I decided not to get bothered by it and will find some paper somewhere else to print with tomorrow.
Something I learned today?
JubJib told me where building 8 was this morning and I explored it to see the rooms that I will be teaching in there. They are a bit rough but I’ll do my best.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I rescued a dragonfly in the kitchen. After what must have been a frustrating few hours for it, it settled on my finger and I walked it outside to freedom.
My vile deed: I appropriated an ethernet cable from one of the classrooms to carry with me as I’m never sure of the Wifi access in each building and don’t trust its stability.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
I’m suffering a little with the heat as I’m getting used to wearing long pants and long sleeves again. If I was feeling 100% I would be ok but as I’m a little under the weather it was a bit of a challenge today.
Mother, I’m not like you I’m not wise to your ways I’m barely a teen And can see through your plays
Is it better raised like this Or for you to be taken away? When you are gone Where do you expect me to stay?
When Dad died we fought hard To make our way together Until you saw the glitter of gold That turned out to be old leather
Uncle tried a little bit but can’t even manage himself! He just takes ALL the money, I don’t know where ALL I’ve got is INSTANT NOODLES for the rest of the MONTH! Mother don’t leave me here, I know you still care…
A STRANGER came to me today and SPUN A GREAT STORY OF FORTUNE I didn’t know whether to BELIEVE HIM BUT I’VE NO ONE ELSE TO TRUST! I ALWAYS TRIED TO DO WHAT’S RIGHT BUT LOOK WHERE THAT HAS GOTTEN ME!? WITH NOWHERE ELSE TO GO I’LL HAVE TO DO AS NEEDS MUST – Sigh!
…
Mother, I don’t want to be like you I don’t want to be wise to those ways I’m still a vulnerable child at heart But I’ll hold on to anything that stays
Sadly, a situation facing one of my best and favourite students right now, though I have taken the poem where I hope it doesn’t end up for her. Submitted to the Word of the Day Challenge – Vulnerability and NaPoMo.
Pretty good again today. Though the pollution is getting worse I, at least, seem to have gotten over any allergic reaction. For now, anyway.
Today I’m grateful for:
The people who came and removed the roof from our entertainment area so that when the storms come this year the winds should just blow through instead of ripping the roof off. It’s a shame to see it all laid out on the floor to be taken away. That was expensive stuff.
The best thing about today was:
Lazily going about my day getting things done that I wanted to do, with a little bit of everything thrown in.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I ate a weed brownie and started reading about the Boer War and how some folks back then saw the British Empire’s decline in the same exact way that happened to the Romans and as is happening to the USA now.
It’s just wild to watch people (societies) walk into the same mistakes that have happened over the centuries.
Anyway, all that was fascinating until I got to the end of a section and wanted to listen to music. I stuck on some CHROMB! and put my brain into overdrive trying to keep track of what the musicians were doing.
I was happily lost in its madness and was in a trance-like state for the best part of an hour. I think I handled that pretty well then!
Something I learned today?
Wholesome news:
Dozens of Huskies Escape Pet Cafe in China
The barking mad footage from a Shenzhen shopping centre shows the dogs running wild after a customer failed to close the door properly. It reportedly took about one hour to round them up.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I took out the garbage this morning which was easier said than done as our usual dumping area on the road has disappeared with the work going on. Luckily there is another area not far away though.
I unpacked the packages of cat food, put them away in the cupboard and broke down the boxes.
I cleaned out the gutters, urging rain to come and fill them.
I watered the mango tree which is budding hundreds of tiny fruit. Let’s hope some make it to maturity this year.
I took this picture yesterday because the restaurant we went to for lunch had these two coloured grasses along their driveway just like we do. But I kinda like it in monochrome.
1994ever 