To The Beach We Enjoy – 20th December 2023

The pinnacle of freedom, sunning on the sand
It’s been worth it, all those working hours planned
How to make the day last longer than a minute?
How to enjoy the freedom when sunk deep within it?

A mind numb from routine, endless pointless tasks
Accumulating misery that the search for freedom masks
Another dollar, another day disappears again
It’s a low bar for freedom that dribbles down the drain


Today I’m feeling:

A little run down after these three days of double exercise.  I must push through though.  I can still feel the general improvement in my body and the tiredness is more through not enough sleep.  I wanted to get to bed earlier last night but was enjoying listening to Amy talking about this, that and the other.

Today I’m grateful for:

Leo being reasonably calm this morning when I took him for a walk so that I don’t need to wash my pants like I did last week.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing another writing book, this one for poems.  It’s always exciting because I look forward to a new book and it’s width will effect how I write in it.  However at the moment I have a couple of half used books that I want to fill up first rather than waste the paper.  Actually, if I think about it I have lots of half empty books that I could finish off too.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy was grumpy with me when I indicated that I wanted her to stop poking me whilst I was eating.  I know she was just having fun but I got a little annoyed.  I don’t like things happening while I’m eating.  I like to sit and watch TV without disturbance.  Anyway, Amy went off and I finished my food and tried to carry on as normal.

Something I learned today?

I saw an interview with RFK Jr where he said some pretty dumb things (in my mind) about the genocide in Palestine.  It them made me wonder (into conspiracy theory territory perhaps).  What if those who wish to be in control in the USA were getting worried that RFK Jr was looking likely to become president next year and, knowing that he would support Israel in any conflict with Palestine, gave the go ahead for Netanyahu to destroy Palestine with impunity so that when RFK Jr showed his support of Israel he would likely lose lots of votes from those who support his other policies.  I saw lots of comments online saying that those who once supported him would no longer.  USA politics is such a fucking shitshow that conspiracy is almost likely.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

In both my classes I encouraged and coached my students to guide them to the information they needed to complete my work so that almost no one was left behind.  The kids are in a relaxed mood due to sports events and Christmas.  I’m trying to relax with them but also pushing them along.

Some students were a little grumpy with me for penalising them for not doing my work yesterday but I soon managed to get them smiling again.  Mostly, anyway.

In the garden, I tied up a little of the pencil tree again as it is growing off in crazy directions and I watered the plants at the back whilst Tigger was sunning himself on the fresh-cut grass.

Which book did you read in college or school that was actually interesting enough that you still think or talk about it sometimes?

Going through my old diaries reminded me of some of the books that I read in my teenage years and surprised me that I was reading more than I ever remembered.  I always felt it was a struggle to read.  Some of the titles were familiar but not so much the stories.  I was proud of reading all 6 of the Thomas Covenant books and, again, whilst remembering little of the story now, the achievement still resonates with me and has removed the fear of reading long books.  War and Peace now sits waiting on my to-be-read shelf.

Tonaor took this picture because she likes to take selfies and so I gave her my phone because I can’t hold the phone in the professional manner that these kids can. So lots of face pulling and snaps later this is the one I like the best. Tonoar, myself, Namkhing.

Counter Melody – 17th August 2023

A harmony made with a push
The string welcomes the bow
Complimentary or alone
Compensates for what we know

A combination of careful ears
Sing along or start your own
When no one hears the tree fall
The counter remains unknown


Today I’m feeling:

Positive, perky, alive. Under that, I know I’m a little tired and could enjoy more of the good sleep that I had last night. A busy day has passed happily at school. Now for a chill evening.

Today I’m grateful for:

The Rocks soda water that can be left in the fridge opened and still be fizzy after 24 hours. It seems suspicious to me! How is it possible? It’s good though because it’s so fizzy I can’t drink a whole bottle in one go.

The best thing about today was:

Pushing myself through two exercise routines this morning (abs and chest) which got me going. I feel like I need to push a little bit extra at the moment as I put on a little weight recently. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I took everything in my stride
With a confidence I couldn’t hide
When things wrong
I just played along
Using the skills I’ve learned and applied

Something I learned today?

I saw one of my old students (Sun) today and barely recognised him. I hadn’t seen him around for about six months I guess but in that time his face went from a boy to a man. That’s scary. Some other students have barely changed in three years. It is a privilege to be able to watch them grow.

Which reminds me, yesterday I wrote about August’s birthday and today I saw her in a class and wished her a happy birthday. She was shocked and surprised that I knew. I think it made her happy.

How is my life different from how I thought it would turn out?

Holy shit, my life is totally different than I thought it might be. 

Up until meeting Bronwyn, I didn’t really have any idea about what I might end up doing. I was looking forward to a life of dull drudgeful depression in the UK and had no vision to escape. 

Thankfully, fortuitously, meeting Bronwyn helped me find a way out that even though was still rudderless, set me on a path of discovery.

I never wanted to get married and ended up marrying three times, though if it wasn’t for visa requirements, I likely wouldn’t have married at all.

I never wanted children but Hayden came along as a happy surprise.

These days I don’t feel quite the need to push my life in any particular direction as I’m content with where I’m at.

Jet took this picture because she took my phone to take selfies and asked me to join in. Jet and Fah are two of my favourite students. Though both have wildly different personalities they still also can’t help acting their age of 13 or 14. They are smart and funny.