When I was a ghost, my eyes were never met Unknown, unspoken, unseen, unheard There I stood, three monkies wiser Until hearing the whisper of the magic word
A name on a page, a name in lights Is that me, is this real? Does a grain of sand on life’s beach Really understand what the ocean might feel?
You can see me and I can feel you Alone but never lonely, loneliness lost Spaces filled with words and chatter To balance it all comes at a cost
Tides are changing, shores are filling Days and nights are both illuminating The stories brought here remind me Of the sandcastles we’re all creating
Better than yesterday though still not quite awake, I feel. I had fun with all the kids at the flag ceremony this morning but need this first coffee for my first class.
Today I’m grateful for:
All the people who handled the parcel of records that got delivered safe and sound to me today from Turkey.
The best thing about today was:
Spending time and effort with one one-on-one reading with my grade 8 students. Both yesterday and today’s classes are a challenge and I think it is beneficial to spend even just five minutes one one-on-one as often as possible. I can only do this with about 6 or 7 students per one two-hour class though.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My final class of grade 7s was disrupted somewhat as one student told me that a few of them were supposed to go for football practice. I told them that they could go when they finished their work but unfortunately they struggled with the work and then as it rolled past the time they asked to leave they struggled with their attitude. Many students ended up 20 minutes late for their vans as I wouldn’t let them go unless they at least attempted the work.
The kids don’t know how to help themselves and the other classmates that understand are reluctant to help now as their kindness has worn thin. The students that slacked last semester will struggle this semester as I ask them to think more about their own ideas, beliefs and feelings. Things that they can’t ask the answers from other students.
I managed to remain mostly patient throughout all this. Mostly.
Something I learned today?
I just realised that the candy I’m eating right now have little tidbits of information on them and so I just learned that crocodiles can’t stick their tongues out. Fairly useless information for 99.5% of people on Earth but there we are. I learned that today.
If I could change one thing about my life, what would it be?
I can imagine that this would be something ridiculous like not having to sleep or being able to party without hangovers! Or not die until I’m ready!
Or that I still had youthful boundless energy.
If I could change one thing about my life I would have done it already.
Which side of the bed do you sleep on?
It seems that I am always the one closest to the door so that if anyone ever breaks in to try and kill us they will go for me first. I don’t know if this is a subliminal thing on Amy’s behalf or why that makes her comfortable but it doesn’t bother me. I can sleep on any side of any bed so long as it is comfortable.
Right now we each sleep in the middle of our own King-sized beds which is both ridiculous and amazing.
I took this picture because this old boy was waiting for me to finish exercising so he could eat. Tigger wasn’t far away either. I didn’t feed them as Amy wants to do it ‘her way’ which I know is just to get their affections! I noticed that by this evening both cats are no longer looking at me with expectation but at Amy instead!
Slow and achy. Slept for ten pretty good hours and woke to some aches and pains from my exercise this week. Push through again next week. Make it normal. No real plan for today beyond hanging out the washing and maybe vacuuming. The most stress will be deciding what to eat.
Today I’m grateful for:
The brief sunshine this morning that got my clothes 90% dry before a quick rain shower happened and I had to quickly drag it all inside the kitchen to get completely dry.
The best thing about today was:
Listening to Eat Avery’s Bones whilst phasing in and out of lucid dreams.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Napping from about 4-6 pm kinda messed up my eating plans as I felt so tired that I would sleep again soon, so I didn’t want to eat a meal. I’ve been snacking all day instead and just about to get back into bed. I can eat tomorrow.
Who do I need to thank?
I generally thank everyone at the required moments in time. I don’t think I have anything in the past that specifically requires thanks though I could reaffirm my thanks to many people for their little slices of influence on me over my lifetime.
I took this picture last weekend because, on our bike ride, we came across this garden area that looked like it was being renovated. It’s on a main road but not a busy one and I’m curious who is likely to pay to come and look around here.
No one possesses the truth But everyone has the right to be understood We wander our imaginary paradise Where our belief is in everything good
Love and life sometimes prove That our truths are often out of time Things are not as simple as they seem And I’ve read this many a time
Mangled from a Milan Kundera quote
The people with the most potential are the ones who know they have a lot to learn.
Adam Grant
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for taking the time yesterday to do 15,000 steps yesterday. My hips and legs, ankles and feet are feeling it this morning!
I feel an urge to go buy some cheap diaries. Austin Kleon, inspiring yet again, writes a quote he enjoys each day into one of his diaries. I guess I’ve been doing something similar already, with writing a poem each day and often directly quoting things I read. Still, I have the urge to buy more cool things to write on! A trip to B2S tomorrow!
Leaving school yesterday, there was an accident on the bridge over the river, which, of course, messed everything up, traffic-wise. I got to enjoy listening to the No Means No Thing podcast for a bit longer so that was a bonus. I got to Bruno’s late and we shot off to the same walking track as last week and walked around until the sun set and the blur lights of Bangkok Hospital shone out in the distance, below the hills.
I can tell Bruno is thinking about things quite deeply as he comes up with quite philosophical questions, connected with our places and our time in life. An enjoyable exercise to press mind and body (him with a fractured foot no less!) and breathe deep the cleaner air around the quiet areas of woods, fields and water. Even saw a squirrel – my first in Thailand!
I ended up walking 15,000 steps and today my feet, hips and calves are feeling it. I thought I would sleep well after that walk but I got back to thinking about new cool things to do with the students until I remembered one of the articles I read about putting noisy thoughts on a TV in another room and just letting them chatter away in there instead. It ended up working though I woke up again before my alarm clock and spent a while tossing and turning, hoping to get back into a deep sleep again. I briefly contemplated not getting up with my alarm but pushed through and as soon as I stood in the bathroom, despite the aching body, I felt pretty great.
Oh – Bruno said to me something that surprised me. He said he thought I was a good listener. I don’t really consider myself to be but I think he meant more in the context that I try not to judge and try to consider what people say and don’t just jump in and say something is right or wrong. I hope I do that, so it was nice to hear that from someone. I have tried to make an effort to speak less and listen more when possible.
What do you like about being your age?
I sure like the wisdom that comes with age. My definition of wisdom, of course. With experience comes learning. It’s kinda weird to consider that as a teenager, people thought that I was mature but I think that mostly manifested on the outside. The inside was a troubled little boy searching for a happiness that didn’t seem to exist, jealous of those immature on the outside yet happy inside.
I chose not to fit in because it bored me. I made life difficult for myself but now that those difficulties have passed, I have learned so much about myself.
I don’t usually think about my age when I think about myself. I guess when you discover someone’s age, you can find a convenient box that you can expect them to be in. I guess many people feel the same about themselves – that their age doesn’t put them in any box.
It seems to me, though, that I don’t act as if I’m 54 years old, as people think I am much younger. Just like other people I know who are younger than me appear to act much older. I put that down to the expected norms of age to close-mindedness, perhaps contentment and an attitude of not having anything else to learn. My mind is still open.
Although I seemingly have strong opinions, I am not so confident in them that they can’t be changed and that it’s ok if they do change after new experiences. I think I don’t like or dislike my age. It’s out of my control.
1994ever 