Tag: Jan

Roll Another Number – 27th February 2024

~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Everyone is so cynical
Opinionated, clinical
Fallen from the pinnacle
And waiting to expire

We’re all gonna die, what’s the point?
Who cares who the kings may anoint?
Sing a song, smoke another joint
Around the old campfire

Written for Ovi’s Challenge – Negativity. Titled borrowed from Nuisance.

Today I’m feeling:

Better but still tired out.  I took it easy with my first class but I was still exhausted by the end of it.  No exercise this morning either so that is now five days without.  I will try to do it tomorrow.  I usually feel better in the evenings than in the mornings though.  Let’s see.

Today I’m grateful for:

My former self of last week for planning ahead and quickly making up some cards for a quick vocabulary game with my grade 10s.  I wasn’t sure exactly how I was going to incorporate it in the class but I figured out a way to make it fun and engaging for everyone.

The best thing about today was:

Gradually getting my mojo back during the day and being able to not push myself or the students too much to stress ourselves out.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

With half of my grade 7 classes missing this week I’ve had to adapt myself to just playing Kahoots about the topic that we were on and making it as fun as possible whilst not putting any pressure on about punctuality and paying complete attention.

Something I learned today?

I forced myself to listen through a podcast of a couple of North American China Hawks discussing what the best way forward was for the USA to deal with China.

It reminded me that at the highest levels of Western governments, people cling to their ideology without growth or learning.  Some of the commentary had me contemplating just skipping it but I wanted to hear more opposition to the things I believe and to try to understand where some people are coming from.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Anchan skipped my class today to prepare for a national (I think) competition for a speech in Thai.  She sent me a message to say why she wasn’t there and I wished her the best.

She also reminded me it was her birthday today and so I bought some sweet snacks for her and her friends.  They were so cheap that there were so many of them that when I got back to school and my next class, Nemo said that it was her birthday too and so I gave her one pack.

I later tracked Anchan down in another building and gave her the rest of the snacks.  She laughed because there were so many but appreciated them too.  Whilst I was there, many students wished her a happy birthday and I was surprised by all the people who knew her.

I can understand her popularity though.  She is a smart kid who, in my own class, I have seen make friends with almost everyone, investing time in them (and calling out ones that treat others badly).  I warned her once last year not to get dragged into the bad crowd and whether she heeded that or not, she worked out what was best and was still able to maintain friendships with them.  I could sense what she was capable of and she has even surprised me with her skills.  Except English!

I also offered to teach Baipad, along with Apple and Jan, during the holidays if they wished.  I know that this will be a struggle to get them to commit to but also maybe get them to see that this is free education that they are being offered.  It would also give me something else to do apart from playing XBOX for four weeks straight!

Who would I like to reconnect with? 

In some ways, I’d like to reconnect with my school friends just to get memories and stories from them from when we were at school.  It’s kind of interesting to discover what ever happened to everyone but at the same time, I don’t care that much either.  That seems weird to write down but I’ve lived almost forty years without knowing what happened to everyone it just doesn’t seem that relevant.

I always want to connect with people in the DIY punk scene in South East Asia though and would love to find another kindred spirit in the same way that Kimi was.  Parthiban in Singapore is the nearest I have but we’ve only been able to hang out one time previously.

I should also reconnect with folks in Australia, which I do do from time to time but I’m thinking I should chat with Swerve again as we spent a lot of time working on things in the late 00’s and had a lot of fun.  There are also plenty of bands that I’ve worked with that I don’t have much contact with these days too.  I should get back to that.

I took this picture at 7.14 am just as I was about to leave this morning. I was surprised to see clouds on the horizon and I shot this at the very first peak of the sun rising above them.

At The Edge – 22nd February 2024

~ tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

I’m running at the edge of their world
Pushed away and pulled back again
I don’t want to fall off the fence
And find myself having to explain

They’re criticising something they can’t understand
Never taking the time to lend a listening ear
On the fence, there’s air to breathe
Down below so clouded with fear

I’m living on the edge of their town
Itching to break free of the shackles
My feet only touch the ground to run
The touch paper lighted crackles

And I won’t be shot down
I won’t be pulled apart
There’s no compromise
At the edge of my heart

Submitted to Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge Edge

Inspired by the Stiff Little Fingers song ‘At The Edge’ from which each line of the chorus was taken as the first line of each stanza

And I’m running at the edge of their world
They’re criticising something they just can’t understand
Living on the edge of their town
And I won’t be shot down

Today I’m feeling:

Relaxed and happy.  The early birds crawing woke me up before my alarm, along with waking Tigger who then starting crawing too.  I slept pretty well otherwise and got back into exercise on this chilly morning. The evening temperatures are perfect but by early morning it’s still cold and then during the day we’re hitting 35 degrees or so.

Today I’m grateful for:

There being yet another event this morning and being able to accommodate the kids wishes to go to it instead of studying.  To achieve that  I set them a minor task of taking a photo at the event and describing it to me.  After sticking around for a few minutes I was able to duck out for coffee and keep up with the classes work as the submitted it to me online.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling good with the poems I was inspired to write today and clearing out some of the growing number of email prompts that I’ve been receiving.  I’ve gotten right into this little circle of writers and whilst I don’t enjoy much of what I read I can appreciate the time and effort that they are putting into it and occasionally something does grab my attention that hits the mark.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The morning event rolled over into the afternoon and so for the second week running my grade 10s were busy and only a few were in the classroom when I got there.  Well, that’s fine.  I’m not sure if I will get to teach them again this semester.  So with even more free time I took the opportunity to wander around the school and talk and play with whoever I found (which was almost everyone!)

Something I learned today?

The last letter added to the English alphabet was ‘J’. Before that, the letter ‘i’ was used for both the ‘i’ and ‘j’ sounds.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I left school at around 3pm and went to Big C and whilst there I suddenly heard ‘Teacher!’  It was Baibua and Khawhom.  They looked a little sheepish but also laughing at seeing me shopping.  I asked them what they were doing and they indicated that they were going to the movies.  But wait a minute!  Why aren’t they at school?  They said there was nothing to do.  Well, that is true.  I know and they know it.

With my grade 10 class not showing up I went to help Kru Ren again and offered my help to the different groups of students.  I was a little disappointed with Baipad because it turned out that she hadn’t done any work for class for the whole semester.  Jan and Apple had done some but not finished it.  I asked them why they weren’t doing it now and they just offered up excuses.  Sigh.  I told Baipad that I can help her catch up this evening if she wants me to but haven’t heard anything from her yet.

David hasn’t been at school for the last three days so I sent him a message asking if he was ok.

What tasks do I often avoid?

I don’t think there’s any task that I avoid completely but I have a different threshold of tolerance to certain things to Amy so in that sense I avoid mopping the floors or cleaning the toilets but if she wasn’t here I would do those things but only when I found it necessary.  

Asking Amy what tasks I often avoid might provide a clearer answer.

I took this picture because I wanted to show my students an example of what they were required to do for class (take a picture connected with the event and write a sentence about it). I was happy that almost all of them completed this simple task. I thought this student picture was quite nice and as I took the picture the student who made it was there and his friends were all in awe!

The Primal Egg – 25th January 2024

~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When you are walking towards your maker
Be prepared with the biggest machine gun
Point it right between their eyes
And ask them first, ‘What have I done?’

Ask your questions, demanding proof
Let there be no pulling of the leg
Your maker may only pronounce the truth
‘What came first, the chicken or the egg?’

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good but a little tired despite sleeping quite well. 

I can feel my muscles aching from the exercising that I’ve been doing.  Not just aching but feels like them splitting and dividing under my skin.  It’s a tolerable pain that indicates growth, at least to my monkey brain.  It doesn’t feel like an injury though my right shoulder is still definitely injured.  I need to find some exercises where I can still use my arms and chest without injuring the shoulder further.  I adapted my normal arms workout this morning to compensate and that went ok.

Today I’m grateful for:

Bronwyn sending me some old photos of me, my mum and my dad.  These are pictures that my mum had and I had seen from time to time in my youth. 

They were passed onto Bronwyn to leave for Hayden in the future but I’m glad to see them again. 

I also found out that there was a book that my mum wrote quotes and poetry in and I’m interested to see that at some point.

The best thing about today was:

Teaching the new grade 10 class and describing what would happen in real life if they failed to do the work that they are employed to do, just as some students did last week for my class work when I wasn’t there and assigned them something to do in my absence. 

I described our classroom as the place of employment, myself as the boss and them as the employees.  I showed them on the board that I was promoting some of my employees and demoting others and that in our classroom this would be indicated by grades. 

Everyone started at grade 2 (in the middle) but the students who did my work are now at grade 3 whilst those that didn’t are now at grade 1.  This certainly got everyone’s attention.  I told them that in a real-life work situation, they would likely no longer have a job!

I really enjoyed explaining this and I could see the satisfaction on the newly promoted students faces.  All they had to do was what was asked and they’ve been rewarded.  I feel like there was some real learning happening and it made me happy to see.  I kept the mood light throughout all this but they understood the ramifications of their actions.

In the second act of synchronicity for the day, I read this in an online newsletter and messaged the class to discuss its meaning:

“’I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday’”

Even writing this is making me feel somewhat smug! Haha.

Something I learned today?

There’s an ant species that’s unique to New York City, known as the ManhattAnt.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I’ve been trying to get Baipad to describe her own personality to me because she described her cousin’s personality as similar to her own but she could only answer with ‘you already know.’  I tried to explain that we see ourselves differently from how others see us. 

This morning I sat down with her and Jan, with Apple sitting opposite and I said, ‘Come on, let’s play a game.  Here’s a list of adjectives, pick ten that describe Apple and we had fun doing that for ten minutes.  As I left I told them that tomorrow we will do the same for Jan.  And at the weekend I will ask Baipad again to see if she can answer for herself.

I sat with one of my poor grade 7 students (Nut) in class this morning and helped her a lot with trying to understand the text we were reading and how to answer the questions.  Some days she is ok to accept my help and today was one of those.  When I went to help others she pulled me back to finishing helping her first.  I was glad to see this and I think she was glad of my help.  She will never be a great English speaker but she is doing all that I ask of her.

I sent a message to JubJib reminding her that perfection is a myth.  She happily admits to requiring perfection from herself.

What do I need to embrace about myself?

I’ve become more accepting of my own foibles as I’ve aged.  As a sign of maturity, I don’t tend to do things that I wish I hadn’t any more.  I’m equating embracing and acceptance here but they feel quite comparable at this age.  I am happy with myself and understand myself very well.  I know my weaknesses and attempt to improve them slowly without punishing myself.

Where do I hope to be one year from now?

This is an interesting question for me this time as I feel a little in limbo.  I am very happy where I am but also considering where do I go from here?

I could quite comfortably maintain my life the way it is.  I have no real goals to aim for these days, just continuous improvement.  This feels possible due to stability and not having to deal with other stresses that come with the pursuit of new things.

In this way, I’m quite happy to defer to Amy’s ideas about what she wants in the future.  That may be a big shock when it comes time for action though, this I know.

Should I have a specific goal for this coming year?  I don’t feel particularly ambitious.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 5. Exercise Daily. I didn’t get this until recently. A healthy body is where you have to start everything in life. If you can’t build a healthy and strong body, what CAN you build in life?

I was quite athletic as a child, particularly loving football but once I discovered booze and cigarettes that all slowly went downhill.

Since finally being mostly free of those vices I have started exercising and by doing it first thing in the morning I’ve been able to slowly introduce and lengthen the time spent doing it as I also slowly started to feel the benefits.

Previously I would consistently make the mistake of overdoing the exercise when I would feel the need to get back into it.  It’s a mistake probably 80% of us make.

But as I was reading more about developing habits and starting small and as I’ve been teaching my kids about doing things little by little, that idea has slowly slipped into my own brain to find a better way.

Perhaps when I was younger I didn’t want to admit that I was aging.  As it took many years to develop this beer belly I’ve accepted that it will take many years to lose it too.

Again, as synchronicity goes, I also just read this:

“The key to exercising regularly, losing weight, being more productive, and achieving success is understanding how habits work.” – Charles Duhigg

I took this picture last week because I was fascinated by the symmetry of this freshly sprouted pineapple. No new pictures today.

Lesson In Peace – 24th January 2024

~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The art of war is a lesson in peace
The politics of life to make the violence cease
The finest swords will all eventually rust
To build a legion is to gain their trust

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and positive though I have a nagging tiredness throughout my body.  This could possibly be from pushing myself too much with exercise but the benefits of it outweigh this.  Some of the things going on in the family are getting me down a little.  This is connected with cultural differences but it’s hard not to judge a situation when something is so clearly unfair.  No details to share here as yet.  Perhaps if and when the situation resolves or is in the past.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding the candy lady outside of school.  Miyor and KhaoFang were walking around the park after classes and I bumped into them and they offered me a bag of candy of a type that I’d never seen before.  I took one and it was tasty so I asked where they got them and they pointed to one of the stalls so I went to investigate and there was a cornucopia there!  It was also a pick and mix so I picked out a couple of each to try the range.  I didn’t eat any yet – I’m saving them for the weekend. 

I was laughing to myself today about it because it feels just like when I was at school as a teenager.  I always skipped lunch, saving my money to buy records instead.  Then I would scrounge pennies off friends and buy candy from the van that pulled up in the playground every lunchtime.

The best thing about today was:

Getting my work permit so quickly sorted that I had time to grab another coffee before my class started.  I guess it doesn’t take long when you’re handing over 6,000 baht.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After making copies of my work permit I headed over to the office.  It was only while I was there that I discovered that I have to fill out the visa application and pay another 2,000 baht for the visa when I take it to immigration next week.  I thought that whole process was already done when I was at immigration at the end of last year but it seems that I was just on a bridging visa.  Amy was not impressed to hear this, especially as I don’t even have 2,000 baht left this month.

Something I learned today?

This evening I found out that the 6,000 baht will get refunded next month.  Woohoo!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sat and helped a couple of students again, taking the time to work with them and encourage them.

Every morning now, when I arrive at school, I join Baipad, Jan and Apple and talk with them for a few minutes.  Sometimes it’s a struggle to get them to look away from their phones but slowly they are opening up and chatting a little bit.  I can especially feel that Apple is more relaxed now to speak English.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 4. Don’t Start A Relationship If You’re Not in Love. I’ve done this more than once. You kind of like someone and think: “We might as well give it a shot.” Not a good idea. You’re either in love, or you are not. Don’t fool yourself. It’s not fair to you and the other person.

The difficulty with this is when growing up and learning about love.  Our societies don’t emotionally prepare us as children for the consequences of love.  It’s quite noticeable here in Chiang Rai, Thailand that a fair percentage of teenagers are not so much into the idea of romantic relationships yet.  They might have urges and desires but many are still learning about how to make good friendships amongst themselves.  I used to think that this was somewhat of a downside to the kid’s development and that they were growing up too slowly but now I see it as a benefit.  In the West we are not aware of all the privileges that we have just by circumstance, to be able to grow up so quickly, whether mature or not.

In my own experience, I thought I was in love many times as a teenager but I was just in love with the idea of love, without knowing what it really was.  My first relationships were rough on my partners as I had no clue how to treat them, having been told through society that chocolates and flowers could fix anything.  It wasn’t until my mid-20s, meeting Bronwyn that I first felt what I consider to be true love.  And then even that was not enough to keep us together.

It’s way too easy to say ‘Don’t fool yourself.’  We fool ourselves all the time without knowing.  We do have to go through the process – love, lose and learn.  Not many people get things right the first time.

Now I try to teach my students to guard themselves somewhat, to protect themselves from the huge emotional twists and turns of young love.  When they break up, to encourage them not to dwell on something that wasn’t meant to be.  To stop feeling like it is the end of the world.  But I know, it feels just like that and words are sometimes little comfort.

I took this picture because this is an unusual sight, to find both our cats sitting on the same mat like this.

Zeigen, Schweigen – 28th December 2023

~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

What this is, is impossible to say
Inscriptions to this page
Words stated, yet left unsaid
The knowing of the sage?

So much more was said
When so much was omitted
After all that had been read
And to memory committed

By appearance, the truth unseen
Let me show you inside
Scratched upon this canvas
There’s nothing left to hide

4th Jun 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango

Today I’m feeling:

Great.  Last day before five days off.  Pushed through arm and chest exercises this morning that really tested my endurance.  My muscles ache and feel good. 

Happy to be at school amongst all the happy kids, though many have skipped today after all the excitement of sports day yesterday.

I left pretty quickly to sit and catch up with coffee.  Enjoying being here but also want to get back to the party atmosphere.  Everything is easy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady who served me in the 7/11 this morning.  It’s a job, someone has to do it and she did her job.  Thank you.

The best thing about today was:

Everything.  It’s been a really nice day.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Yesterday I appropriated Fah’s phone whilst she was in the stands and I wandered off taking multiple random photos just to fill up her phone.  I gave it back after ten minutes or so and she shook her head at all the pictures now on her phone. 

So today, to let her get me back I unlocked my phone and gave it to her whilst I was playing volleyball with her friends.  I got it back about 15 minutes later and forgot about it until I got home.  

I’ve just spent the last 30 minutes scrolling through 100s of photos, deleting half, considering the rest and wondering what to do with them all.  There are some nice shots in there, though many were just of Fah, Jet and Mai messing around pulling faces and not many of me and the ones of me make me look old, which I am (but don’t want to be!). 

Phone cameras are so good these days that it’s easy to zoom in and see every line, wrinkle or sag on the skin!

Something I learned today?

Australia is wider than the moon, with a diameter from east to west of almost 4000km!  But this is only when considering diameter and not land area.  If you flattened the moon out it would actually be wider.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I spent 100 baht (of my last 700 baht in the bank) on some wafer snacks for my students’ Christmas party today.  I personally handed them out to everyone and wished them a Merry Christmas.

After getting home I let Amy take a nap and took myself off to my room so that she wasn’t disturbed.

As I was walking around the school I caught up with Baipad, Jan and Apple twice and Baipad was sleeping both times.  The second time I dragged her up for a walk and sat down elsewhere to talk with her one-on-one. 

She’s a sweet introverted kid who is resisting the responsibilities of growing up.  I gave her words of encouragement and sent her back to her friends, and probably more sleep.

How did my relationships change this year?

My relationships this year have been 90% with my students and 10% with anyone else.  My relationship with my students evolves over the course of the year. 

The kids I taught at the beginning of the year I don’t teach so often now and we have all relaxed into a happy friendly environment in classes. 

With the new students I got in May we have all gotten to know each other to varying degrees in that time.  These are the relationships I value highly these days.

My relationship with Amy changed slightly again this year as she returned to Chiang Rai from Australia. 

In most ways, we are back to what we were before she left.  We and our relationship with each other is very familiar.  It’s not boring but sometimes predictable.  That is somewhat of a comfort for me at this stage in my life. 

I think it is also for Amy but she still has the energy to consider going off and doing things and perhaps still looking to the future.  It’s not contentious for either of us, just a matter of fact of the different stages of our lives.

Jet took this picture of Fah and me showing the stereotype of the student-teacher relationship in Thailand.

No Sight – 25th December 2023

~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The miracles you’ve forgotten
Are still behind those tired eyes
So long now woe begotten
Every day the same grey skies

No longer believing in dreams
Since they all became real
All is exactly as it seems
You no longer know how to feel

Approaching the end of the night
The winter is setting in
And cold hearts start to bite
With no sight of the spring

Today I’m feeling:

A little down on the way to school but better once surrounded by happy smiling Christmas greeting kids.

A little disappointed but happily so that there are no morning classes as kids prepare for the sports parade on Wednesday and there’s a chance there will be no classes in the afternoon or tomorrow too, which is kind of a shame as I had a cruisey time planned for the kids, just making Christmas cards for all my classes this week. 

Still, it means I’m already here back in my spot at House, drinking coffee already.

Today I’m grateful for:

Fui, who I haven’t seen for a few months but as we talked a little whilst he ordered his coffee he paid for my cup as a Christmas gift.  I wish I had some extra money at the moment to be able to do likewise.

My grade 8 students who welcomed onlooker, my grade 7 student Spain, to play football with them.  Spain has some kind of social problem but is a good kid at heart.  He senses safety with me so follows me around a lot and he was watching me play football and the kids kept asking me who he was. 

I went off for a while to see what else was happening around the school and when I returned he was happily joining in with their games with a big smile on his face.

The best thing about today was:

Playing football and volleyball with my students instead of sitting in the classroom with them.  I waited to see if they would come to class but it was apparent that they wouldn’t and no one else appeared to be teaching either so instead of stealing off I decided to stay longer and play with the kids at least.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The change to the classes today was a bit annoying as I had left the Christmas card making activity until this week.  But still, both teacher and students prefer not to be in the classroom as much as possible, so I guess I will convert this into a new years card making activity come next week.

Something I learned today?

From watching a classic books recommendations video I should try to track down Woman In White, Vanity Fair and Nicolas Nickleby.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave Jan and Apple the art pads to write in and give to Baipad, who was sick at home again today.

I joined in with many activities through out the day, encouraging everyone, laughing with them and generally showing a good time and attitude.  Even Kwang has forgiven me for the tough time we had last week.

I dropped by the flower market to pick up some lillies for Amy as a gift.

Perhaps a vile deed was requesting credit from Gui at House for my coffee this week as I’m almost out of money now.

If you’re going to win the lottery, would you rather win £10 million, or £100 million?

Why would someone choose $10 million?  Yes, it’s enough but why not choose $100 million and give $90 million away?  It’s an odd question anyway as there’s no choice in a lottery.

As this is such a fantastical question I’m not even going to think about who I might give $90 million away to.

I took this picture because the red team were practising their cheerleading and dance routines in the cool morning air. Soon after I went off for my second coffee of the day.

Looking Up – 24th December 2023

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The little girl stares at my dress
Telling me about my pretty hair
Wide-eyed at the new world
The little girl is just me, sitting there

She holds my heart in her hands
As we both are looking up above
Wondering what all the futures hold
For the mystical creatures we will love

Today I’m feeling:

Exhausted still and a little uninspired.  Bruno and Nut will come for a Christmas dinner later, hopefully I perk up a little before that.  I’ve not been sleeping that well due to sore shoulders, maybe from lying down too much!

Today I’m grateful for:

All the work Amy did throughout the day to prepare a great meal for dinner this evening.

The best thing about today was:

Finding Tigger curled up in a plant pot, which still had soil in it.  He was grumpy because yesterday I shampooed his head again and this morning I sprayed on some medicine to help clean up his wounds.  He almost always takes himself off to get himself dirty again after I try to clean him up.

At the same time, Cap had somehow managed to open the door to the spare room and was curled up happily on the bed.  Hopefully he hasn’t peed on it.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy got upset at me in front of Bruno and Nut when I said I didn’t want any mussels yet as I was filling up on everything else.  She took it as an affront to her cooking skills but that was not my intention. 

There was nothing much I could do except sit there and take her sour words towards me which miffed me a bit as I was enjoying everything otherwise.  I feel like she chose to take my words the wrong way and make something out of nothing.  That’s not something I can control. 

Eventually she lightened up again but still threw barbs every now and then.  I’ll not get bothered by it as it happens occasionally and usually when Amy is drinking happily and suddenly something I say or do sets it off.  I can’t predict it at all. 

Since I don’t drink much anymore it’s just something I need to try and be more aware of in the future.  My default is to be silent but that is not really a good ongoing strategy for communication between us.

Something I learned today?

New clothes are being developed that can regulate temperatures powered by flexible solar panels built into the fabric.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I bought some cheap drawing pads for Baipad today but rather than just giving them to her, contacted her friends Jan and Apple, and will give them the books, asking to add a Christmas message and once they’ve done that, to gift them to Baipad.

I helped Amy in the garden when requested and kept out of her way in the kitchen whilst she prepared food for our meal this evening.

I took this picture to try and capture the bubbles in this champagne glass, viewed from above.

Burn – 12th December 2023

~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Forgive the fire the pain
The hand pulls away
You’ve broken down again
Beautiful, in a way

Who you were is worthy
Of the love in your heart
Your mind made up too early
You pulled it all apart

Once the scar has healed
The tears have all dried
The love deserved revealed
Comes from deep inside

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

Struggled through exercise this morning as I’m still tired despite a long sleep and my first class was a little difficult to settle down but we all got there in the end.

Today I’m grateful for:

There not being the bad traffic I was expecting when driving home. There are some events going on around the city and surrounds during this month as well as royal visits that close off roads from time to time. But not today! Hooray!

The best thing about today was:

Doing some investigation, planning and discussion with Nampan from SpeechOdd for an upcoming vinyl release. I’m hoping that this will help me get more involved with the scene here in Thailand.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Both my first and last classes were difficult and annoying today but I persevered, having to keep the second class late due to constant interruptions. It doesn’t help that my lessons are designed for two full hours and now we only have 100 minutes.

Something I learned today?

Just as I’m writing here this evening I got a message from Jan wanting me to talk with ****** because tonight she wants to kill herself! Sigh… it’s easy to see how despondent kids can get in the home environments here sometimes.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Talking with Jan and ******, getting information from one and consoling the other.

Offering a helping hand to Freya who is also suffering from depression as well as some physical ailments.

Sharing in the happiness of Mee, who also tried to kill herself last year, but today ran up to me to give me a big hug and smiles, pronouncing that her mum is home from abroad after a long period of absence. Hopefully, this will be enough to turn her life around.

Offering to help out to teach some extra classes since two of our teachers have left recently.

How does my body feel today?

It’s pretty good today actually. I did arm exercises this morning but didn’t feel any after-effects from that during the day, even feeling compelled to do 10 push-ups in the evening. Yes, it’s not much but this weakling old man has to start somewhere and started I have.

After my exercise in the morning, I noticed a sharp pain in my foot like I was standing on a sharp stone. I then just thought that perhaps an ant had bitten me. It wasn’t until I got home after school I found that it was a thin deep cut. I didn’t feel anything whilst wearing shoes at school but in bare feet again it’s painful as hell as every time I put weight on it the cut opens up.

Apart from still aching shoulders after the weekend ride everything else is feeling just about at the normal level of ache for a 56-year-old boy.

I took this panorama picture on Saturday because the whole view was just magnificent. A picture doesn’t do it justice really. No pictures today.

Jungle Garden – 25th August 2022

~ tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Too many bananas, papayas and lychees
I got passionfruits stacked up to my knees
Chillies and pumpkin grown from spat-out seeds
On every speck of dirt, even amongst the weeds

Mulberries hang over the neighbour’s fences
I pick his mangoes to save on expenses
The land of plenty, these abundant times
We can’t even eat all the goddamn limes

26th Jun 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge

…our age cries out for the redeemer personality, the one who can emancipate himself from the grip of the collective ‘psychosis’ and save at least his own soul.

Carl Jung, Development of Personality

Today I’m grateful for:
Making it through the day without too much stress despite feeling tired and dizzy.
The best thing about today was:
Was briefly talking and joking with Nong Cake. She is still a smart kid. She was preparing Thai and Japanese flags for Japan day tomorrow and I made a joke that the Thai flag was for Italy and she immediately understood and said that the Japanese flag was for Indonesia.

I took this picture because this is what my students drew on the board before class started. Baipad and Jan claimed responsibility and which was a little surprising though I know Baipad loves drawing. The picture made me laugh and then I teased them that I would show the head teacher and they begged me not to.
This is Trevor’s picture but of the same sunset that I was looking at last night. It was mesmerising.