Little Miss Imperfect – 16th February 2024

It was a missing tooth
Some wayward hair
A smudge of a nose
That almost wasn’t there

It was a crooked smile
Dry cracked lips
An inch too much
Sitting on her hips

It was a minor lisp
One leg longer
A scarred wrist
Now grown stronger

No, she’s not perfect
As far as all could see
But it’s all those little faults
That has attracted me


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good.  I did some chest and arm exercises this morning, trying to avoid straining my shoulder and also hanging for a minute to stretch myself out.  Had my first cold morning shower of the year, which was a bit of a challenge but sure woke me up properly.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Ploy for saying that she wishes I was still her teacher because she enjoys writing in English the most, which is something I like to have the students practice.  And then have them read from what they’ve written.

The best thing about today was:

The winding down and relaxing feeling of the end of the semester.  

I was trying to put myself in my student’s shoes about how they must feel each day, being amongst their friends at school all day and then going home to their families each evening.  They obviously enjoy being at school and being with their friends but suffer the having to study part of that.  

I was trying to remember what it was like for me at their age.  Usually, I was excited to get out of school because when I got home I was usually out again after eating dinner and having even more fun with my friends.  

The situation here feels different both because of the family set-up in many homes and the availability of mobile phones and internet.  It makes for an experience that I only understand as an adult, not as a growing child.

Something I learned today?

“OpenAI’s latest model takes text prompts and turns them into ‘complex scenes with multiple characters, specific types of motion,’ and more, the company said.

The text-to-video model allows users to create photorealistic videos up to a minute long – all based on prompts they’ve written.”

As AI improves, and it seems to be doing so quickly, this could go either way.   Folks could create and post anything that conforms to their narratives.  

For example, the BBC could post footage of concentration camps in Xinjiang, where they keep insisting they exist.  People could easily believe it, especially when it is reinforced with pictures and videos.  

However, I also want to look on the positive side that due to this new capability journalists will be forced to detail, verify, check and double-check and be held legally accountable for what they publish.  It’s optimistic but that is the way it must go.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

At the morning flag ceremony KanomBang was crying heavily as her beloved dog had died.  She was inconsolable so I just put my arm around her and gently patted her arm.  Other students were still laughing and playing and I’m not sure what they were saying but Nomsen gave her some sympathy and support too.  She was ok by the afternoon and showed me a picture of her dog and told me it had been hit by a motorbike which is a common occurrence here unfortunately.

I called and messaged Khaofang as her jumper was in the classroom where she lost it the day before yesterday.  When she came to collect it she was very appreciative.

What was peaceful about today?

It’s difficult to find peace when you are surrounded by thousands of students. So perhaps the first hour of the day, having just woken up and quietly brushing my teeth before going to exercise, feeding the cats and then hopping into the shower, all the while the sky slowly lightening into the morning bloom.  Then I eat some breakfast whilst reading a little and the sun finally appears over the mountains and it’s time for the peace to end.

At the end of the day, post-shower and into bed.  Amy on her side, me on mine and Cap swapping between us, Amy quietly scrolls through Facebook and I read books and comics until we both give in to the joy of sleep.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  18. Give Without Expecting Something in Return. Don’t keep score. You will become a bitter person if you do that. Give solely for the joy of giving. If you get something in return, great, if you don’t, great.

I may not give out too much but I expect and want little from anyone else.  

Over the last few years, I have started giving out gifts as random acts of kindness and my only hope would be that the receiver will pass on the kindness to someone else.  

Whether they do or not is out of my control.

What was my Ween discovery timeline?

I had read about Ween often in Flipside and was curious when their first album God Ween Satan came out so I picked up a copy.  It started off well and punky with You Fucked Up but I was unprepared for everything else that came on the rest of the album.  Slowly it worked its wackiness on me and I enjoyed its eclecticism over time.  

So when the second LP, The Pod,  came out I was looking for more of the same and it didn’t deliver for me.  This seemed like weird droning moaning music and so I gave up on them, even selling both discs.

I occasionally heard them on the radio when I was living in Australia with their ‘hit’s Push The Little Daisies and Voodoo Lady but didn’t think on much further about them.

Around 2010 sometime, my friend in Melbourne, James McGauren had met and fallen in love with a Swedish girl and was making the move there and he decided to sell off a big chunk of his music collection.  He had all the Ween albums.  

Fuck it, I thought, I’ll give these guys a go again and picked up the whole catalogue for cheap.  Slowly I worked my way through each album and fell in love with them all.  I scoured the internet to find quality live shows and all their demo recordings and ended up with about 50 discs worth of Ween to enjoy.

Listening back to The Pod these days, I can understand why I didn’t enjoy it at the time but now I rate it as a favourite.  

I never saw them live but have their live DVD and whilst I appreciate their entertainment abilities I prefer the quirkiness of their records.

I took this picture because this old man was looking relaxed when I got home.

Just Dirt – 28th January 2024

Here the farmer stood
Surveying all his fields
Knowing the earth was good
Increasing next year’s yields

Yet, the prince, he scoffed
“Nothing here is growing”
The farmer turned and coughed
Satisfied and knowing

23rd Jun 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge


Today I’m feeling:

A bit more lively than yesterday though I still fancy an afternoon nap. I’ve been the driver for the family today, to Chiang Saen, Mae Sai and Mae Chan.

Today I’m grateful for:

The candy seller at the market, where I found the candies that the stall has outside school and obviously at a better price.  Whilst I picked out a few different bags she offered various others to try and taste.  I was lucky that Amy found the noodles and mala sauce she wanted in this shop too so I snuck all my stuff in there for her to pay.

The best thing about today was:

Driving around, which made me think that I haven’t been up around the Chiang Saen, Chiang Khong area yet (on the motorbike) and it would be good for a nice laid-back ride sometime.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Whilst I was in my room playing guitar I was surprised to hear the sound of rain on the roof.  I didn’t think too much of it though it was kind of unusual to have rain at this time of day, this time of year.  But then I heard banging and the shade outside my window had fallen down and was now slamming against the wall.  The rain had gotten heavier and suddenly the wind had picked up.  Next came rumbles of thunder and everything got stronger.  I went outside and Amy screamed as the roof on the entertainment area started banging again where it was broken in the summer storms last year.  I ran to the garage and emptied the wheelbarrow already full of water from the leaking drain and found a bucket to put in the shed to catch the leaking in there too, though both of these were relatively useless in rain this heavy.

Something I learned today?

Amy has been watching these YouTube videos of two Korean boys travelling around Thailand and today I saw some pretty nice places in Isaan that they were visiting.  It would be good to go there one day though I feel a lot of places in Thailand look the same everywhere.  Jungles, rice fields, mountains, rivers and beaches.  I’m still quite smitten with it all though.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Driving the family around wherever they directed me and even though sometimes they confused me with their directions, I carried on without complaint.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 7. Be Grateful. Say thank you to everyone and everything “Thank you for this beautiful day.” “Thank you for your email.” “Thank you for being there for me.”

The longer I keep practising being grateful the more I’ve realised there is to be grateful for.  Sometimes I struggle to find something new to be grateful for, especially if I haven’t been doing much but I usually come up with something.  I’m not sure how many years I’ve been doing it now but I think I started sometime in 2020 and managed to do it pretty much every day since.

I’ve mentioned in the past that Thai people don’t often say thank you in a shopping situation and it’s quite a cultural norm.  I can’t help myself though, it’s just ingrained since childhood to say please and thank you.

I took this picture because these kitties, along with two more inside, were surveying the surrounds from this second-floor vantage point as I pulled up at Utopia this morning. 

Difficult Dance – 8th December 2023

How to dodge all the cynics in the hall?
Hope has the knives out against the thinkers
Psyches ripped asunder of those held in thrall
Long gone, the days the tailors danced with tinkers

inspired and borrowed from this post at the Marginalian by Maria Popova


Today I’m feeling:

Physically good but took me a while to feel better after yesterday’s tantrum. Listening to my student’s reading helped though. I started smiling when they tried and tried until they got the words right. Getting some writing done during the long break between classes also helped as it focused my mind on other things.

Today I’m grateful for:

Receiving an order for the Jornada Del Muerto LP from someone in the UK. Now I have to get my act together to pack it to ship there!

The best thing about today was:

Walking around school after classes and hanging out with students watching or playing their sports. It was a good atmosphere that I was happy to stay around for rather than dashing home.

Something I learned today?

China has introduced measures that allow Taiwanese people better access and integration into Fujian as a countermeasure to the US-led independence movement. The US doesn’t give a shit about Taiwanese people.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Despite being difficult in my class and me deducting points for disrespect, it was Baibua’s birthday today and I gave her twenty baht for which she was very surprised and grateful.

I congratulated Nicha for getting up the courage to talk to the boy she liked though she was disappointed that he didn’t show any interest in her.

What is something I hope to understand better?

Myself (is my obtuse answer).

Right now, it is the Thai language. I feel my learning has stunted a little recently or at least slowed. I do notice increased recognition and being able to read two words of subtitles now rather than one. I guess I’m fine with it. My brain feels like it is at capacity most of the time. Squeezing new things in scares me that it is squeezing old things out.

And, having said that, there are a million things I might hope to understand better

I took this picture on the walk up to LiKhai the other day because this beast was blocking the way with its half smile.  Even if it was friendly I wasn’t keen to get near those horns or its back legs. We got by without incident thankfully.

Google It – 14th February 2023

Just give me the answer
I don’t want to think
The end result the same
No waste of pen and ink

I don’t want to learn
Just want to jump the queue
Find the fast way forward
And the easiest way through

Smart enough to cheat
I’ll copy from the best
And when the time comes
I’ll just bluff the test

If I end up in the field
Painfully planting rice
I’ll remember those times
At the top were really nice


Today I’m feeling:

Smooth, content. I didn’t get enough sleep last night but it hasn’t put me in a bad mood, more like a dream state that I’m gliding through.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady that always serves me at Oasis. She recognises me now and knows that I like to add sugar, vinegar and pickled chilli to my food.

The best thing about today was:

Relaxing a little into my classes today and enjoying the interactions with everyone. I was also heartened to receive small Valentine’s gifts from my old students as well as stickers from my current ones.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy called me and was annoyed and upset. I’d been to the hospital to see the psyche but I didn’t wait around to get the meds as there were too many people waiting. I knew I could come back later when it was quieter.

At some point, the hospital called Amy’s number because I hadn’t collected the meds. Amy’s phone diverts to her mum here in Thailand and then she calls Amy. I don’t know why no one calls me!

Amy checked on the camera and thought I wasn’t at home as I’d kept the doors all closed because of the air pollution but I was in the living room eating food and watching TV. When she called she wanted to know where I’d been and talked in an accusatory manner and this annoyed me as I was feeling very good until then.

Anyway, a little while later I’d worked my mood back into feeling positive again and called her at our regular time. She was tired and still a little grumpy so we didn’t talk long. Everything will be fine again.

Something I learned today?

I’ve read a little about a serious train derailment in Ohio that caused a huge explosion of dangerous toxic chemicals and that it hasn’t got much coverage there as the US focuses its media towards its coming war with China and having its population on board with that idea. Some reports have said that the effects of the situation are worse than a nuclear reactor meltdown!

I can feel it will soon be time to disconnect from news again soon. Everything is just seemingly fucked everywhere you look.

What makes me laugh?

Really there are not many things that make me laugh as such. I still enjoy comedy etc but that has a purpose to make you laugh. So the main thing that makes me laugh is, of course, my students. They make me laugh when they are happy and playful but also when they are angry and emotional.

I took this picture because the morning sun burns red through the haze on the horizon.

Teacher’s Lament – 31st January 2023

Don’t be angry with me
I know you don’t see it
But I’m trying to steer you
In the right direction
I know you’re upset
Your fun was curtailed
But I’m trying to guide you
Towards self-correction
You’ll see it one day
Long after I’m gone
It will be you
With wise words to pass on


Today I’m feeling:

A little frustrated at first but ok now. Happy.

Today I’m grateful for:

Dr Arnon for giving me medicine and cleaning spray for Tigger’s skin problem without me having to take him in. Putting the spray on today though I can see one of the wounds on his head is big and deep, with the scab coming away. I just hope the antibiotics stop him from getting infected and it can heal quickly, otherwise, it will be another trip back for Tig.

The best thing about today was:

The very cold reception I got from my class of truants from yesterday and then as they slowly understood the work they needed to do and then have to read for me and as they did it, sometimes laughing at their mistakes and finally showing some pride at their ability to do it. They are smart kids just choosing not to be.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

This morning the students were kept late at assembly and straggled into class with many things on their minds except studying. This class (1/6) has broken up into little groups that distract themselves constantly so that today no one was listening. Frustrated, I just let them leave, considering other ways or things I can teach them. Speaking with their head student though she said it’s like that in every other class too. I have a plan for tomorrow but after that… I don’t know. I do hope we get better levels of students next year or I will have to continue dumbing things down even further.

And, on top of that, the reason they were kept late was that they were being told about next week which, I just found out, is scout week! Another whole week of no classes! Any possible momentum to get going after sports week, lost again!

Something I learned today?

Luckily the thing I was trying to remember yesterday was brought back to mind today as it was whilst I was listening to the End On End podcast talking about the Autoclave record and the track Hotspur. One of the hosts mentioned that Hotspur was the name of a character in a Shakespeare play (I forget which) and just word Hotspur reminds me of one of Rik Mayall’s outrageous characters in the Black Adder. I hope to find some books of Shakespeares’ plays with cliff notes to help me understand it all. I have one on the shelf already but it’s not really at the top of the pile yet.

What is something I want to do for myself in the coming year?
Lose fat.

I took this picture because it’s not often that Tigger is close to Cap or Kim.

Haunted Eye – 22nd January 2022

My left eye only sees the truth
My right eye only sees lies
Blinded by some realities
Caught out by surprise

I spy with my haunted eye
Ghostly memories floating past
A single blink lasts an hour
Whilst perceiving this life so fast

31st Mar 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – Haunt


It cannot be stressed enough that we do not all struggle equally.

David Bauer

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that George finally got off his chest what his problem is with me. It was hurtful but meaningful. It helped me understand more about him as a person.

Stan’s Law – 25th November 2021

*It’s hard to accept
A door without a handle*
To hold in your fist
An eternal burning candle
When doing wrong
Turns out to be doing right
To purposefully ignore
What is clearly within sight
The door is shut
And your skin is burning
Oxymoronic times
Opens eyes to learning

*quote from Stanislaw Lem


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for T. Champ to be understanding about the way I teach. He’s good to be around.

The Gift – 14th September 2021

Your head games and offensive words
Spewing out your hole like stinking turds
The two-faced smiles and stinking breath
Your finagling towards friendship death

Daggers raised at those honest necks
A passive-aggressive sweep of the decks
The bitter change of heart so swift
Beyond the tears, you gave me a gift


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have a nice deep sleep totally missing the storm that blew everything around in the night. Feel good this morning!